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Husband has willed our home to Daughter without consulting me 😢

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Finally, after me pestering my husband about the contents of his will - he informs me he has willed our Matrimonial home to our daughter - ONLY giving me a life interest in our home until I die 😢 and then she inherits it ALL !!!
All he willed ME is what's left of his pension !!   I was so SHOCKED and disappointed I could hardly speak.
What if I need Cancer treatment or Care Home fees or even just money to pay the bills on a house I don't even own ?? 
I would be very grateful for any advice you could offer me.  My only brother died at just 39 - a few years ago now - which devastated me and now my supposed loving husband has done the same 
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Comments

  • Quite normal, he's protecting your daughter's interest in the home should he die and you remarry. Haven't you done the same?
  • My name is not even on the Title Deed !
    I feel hamstrung and like I do not matter !  He has a private pension AND large savings ALL in his name.  So I have nothing and am completely reliant on him financially after 19 years of marriage !!  I am VERY unhappy with him and his latest revelation.  Now I see why he refused to add my name to his Deed.  He wants me to have NOTHING !!  HOW would you feel people if this was done to you ??
    Should I get a solicitor & get my name added to the deed or take my husband to court if necessary ?? 😢
  • elsien
    elsien Posts: 36,059 Forumite
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    Cancer treatment is free on the NHS - why is that an issue?

    I think your underlying issue is possibly more around communication with each other than with the outcome.
    How is your house owned at the moment - in his name, both your names, as joint tenants or tenants in common?
    What about assets - savings and pensions?  Presumably they're coming to you? Does he have life insurance to pay out if he passes first, which he may not.
    What about your will - did you not discuss those together?  
    You need to have a proper conversation with him about his reasoning amd the implications for both of you of all the eventualities. 

    All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well.

    Pedant alert - it's could have, not could of.
  • DCFC79
    DCFC79 Posts: 40,641 Forumite
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    My name is not even on the Title Deed !
    I feel hamstrung and like I do not matter !  He has a private pension AND large savings ALL in his name.  So I have nothing and am completely reliant on him financially after 19 years of marriage !!  I am VERY unhappy with him and his latest revelation.  Now I see why he refused to add my name to his Deed.  He wants me to have NOTHING !!  HOW would you feel people if this was done to you ??
    Should I get a solicitor & get my name added to the deed or take my husband to court if necessary ?? 😢
    As mentioned you have a life interest in the property and you also have whats left from the pension.

    A solicitor or taking him to court isnt wise, could mean end of your marriage, have you spoken to him about this ?
  • -taff
    -taff Posts: 15,364 Forumite
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    If it's YOUR husbands property he can do what he LIKES with it. In the event of you two DIVORCING then you would be entitled to whatever SPLIT of the equity is deemed FAIR. YOU can't FORCE your husband to change his will OR give you more money.
    Non me fac calcitrare tuum culi
  • He NEVER discussed anything with me.
    He just went ahead & made his arrangements WITHOUT consulting me at all.  Our home is our Matrimonial home purchased 18 years ago and I have an 8 year old child.  Do you think it's unreasonable that I want my name on the Title Deeds ?   I am the mother of his only child and I have health problems.  Also he is 14 years older than me and I feel this is bullying behaviour ! 😢😕
  • jackieblack
    jackieblack Posts: 10,500 Forumite
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    edited 13 August 2020 at 9:28AM
    My name is not even on the Title Deed !
    I feel hamstrung and like I do not matter !  He has a private pension AND large savings ALL in his name.  So I have nothing and am completely reliant on him financially after 19 years of marriage !!  I am VERY unhappy with him and his latest revelation.  Now I see why he refused to add my name to his Deed.  He wants me to have NOTHING !!  HOW would you feel people if this was done to you ??
    Should I get a solicitor & get my name added to the deed or take my husband to court if necessary ?? 😢
    You will have a life interest in the home - you can continue to live in it you just won’t own it, your daughter will.
    If ownership of the home passed to you, would you leave everything to your daughter when you died? In practical terms, what difference does it make?  If he has a private pension there is usually provision for a widows pension. 

    If you have made yourself completely financially dependent on your husband, what did you imagine the implications of that choice would be if he died before you? It is that choice that has ‘hamstrung’ you IMO.

    You haven’t said how old you/husband/daughter are (we only know you’ve been married 19 years, you could have married young or older, your daughter could have been born before or after your marriage - too many variables to guess).
    eg both in your 40s with a minor child / both in your 60s with adult daughter / you 40s, him 60s with minor/adult child 

    Your options could be quite different depending on your respective ages.
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  • I am only 49 - he is 64 and our child is 8
    I had absolutely no idea what he was going to do ...... But I DID think he would at least put me on the Deed as his wife !! 
    I had given up my job and moved away from all of my friends to marry him 18 years ago.  I am now very unhappy - so much so that I'm feeling I should consult a Solicitor !!   He has treated me as if my opinion doesn't matter and that's not for the first time either. 
  • In fact I am SO UNHAPPY I want to run away !!! 😢😢
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