Husband has willed our home to Daughter without consulting me 😢

RobM99

Good Lord - some people here need to extract head from their *rse.  It's plain the OP has serious troubles and is asking for decent advice, not judgement. "Why didn't you  (xyz) years ago?" type of comments are really no good. 

k3lvc

-taff said:

I have zero sympathy for you. You chose to make the choices you made, you chose not to work, not to have your own money. How on earth can you surprised he wants to make sure his daughter [ and yours?] is provided for. I find it very difficult to believe your child says things like that unless she's been prompted by you.

Harsh but fair
The responses probably aren't what the OP was expecting but in reality it's time to call it if things really are that bad - either accept the financial security that Husband is providing or leave and forge your own way 

GoodLuckGemma

Yes Highland76  YOU are absolutely right there !!!!   I think me not being on the deeds is probably the final straw.
Our daughter knows nothing of this - she simply saw houses that she liked better than ours !!    In fact I also see houses I like much better than ours !!

KatrinaWaves

GoodLuckGemma said:

Yes Highland76  YOU are absolutely right there !!!!   I think me not being on the deeds is probably the final straw.
Our daughter knows nothing of this - she simply saw houses that she liked better than ours !!    In fact I also see houses I like much better than ours !!

Sorry but I don't believe that whilst you are going through turmoil that your daughter has been willed a house and you can 'only' live in it for life, she suddenly starts with this...

 'NOW my child is saying to me that she would LOVE to live somewhere else and actually doesn't really like our house !!'

So either she hasnt said those things and you are using it to be like 'well she doesnt even want it so his will isnt right' or these ideas have been planted. Either way, shes 8, she wants to live in a Barbie dreamhouse. Her opinion on this matter is irrelevant

Tigsteroonie

Cancer treatment is free on the NHS.

If you don't own a house, then the Council cannot put a charge against it to pay for any Care Home for you in the future.

Bequeathing the house to your daughter and giving you a life interest, doesn't mean that you both have to continue living there. Your daughter could choose to rent it out, and the two of you can use the rental income to pay for somewhere else. Your daughter could choose to sell the house, buy another, and the two of you live there (but that might negate your lifetime occupancy rights).

What your husband has done, is to protect the daughter of his marriage from anybody else that you might marry once widowed (who, if you owned the house, could then have a right to the house) or from any children from a second marriage. 

comeandgo

GoodLuckGemma said:

Well no.  But he ALWAYS wants his own way......he just suits himself and if I don't like it - tough !   IF he had been interested in my opinion on our home - he would have consulted me wouldn't he ??  I have health problems - so there is NO WAY I could work enough to have a private pension 😢.   Also I am SOLE day to day carer for our Daughter
😢😢

You don't need to be working to have a private pension, you can pay in yourself or your husband can pay into your pension.  I would imagine as your husband works and you do not that it is acceptable you have sole day to day care of your child.  

GoodLuckGemma

Yes Rob - thank-you for your comments
I appreciate them.  I did not simply 'chose' not to work.  I have severe Endomietriosis which leaves me in shocking pain for much of each month
As I said originally my brother died suddenly at 39 which has devastated me and my parents !!  I am now their ONLY surviving child and am trying to support them emotionally.  It's very tough !!!  Did anyone on here read what I have been writing ??  Would anyone like to walk in my shoes for a day and see what it's like ????   My parents live abroad so cannot even be here to offer support ........

KatrinaWaves

GoodLuckGemma said:

Yes Rob - thank-you for your comments
I appreciate them.  I did not simply 'chose' not to work.  I have severe Endomietriosis which leaves me in shocking pain for much of each month
As I said originally my brother died suddenly at 39 which has devastated me and my parents !!  I am now their ONLY surviving child and am trying to support them emotionally.  It's very tough !!!  Did anyone on here read what I have been writing ??  Would anyone like to walk in my shoes for a day and see what it's like ????   My parents live abroad so cannot even be here to offer support ........

With the utmost respect, your brothers death, whilst very sad, doesnt have any bearing on the will situation with your husband.

He hasnt really done anything wrong in trying to provide for his young daughter.

The negative aspects of your relationship are again a totally separate issue. If you want to get divorced, all power to you! But those issues do not change the will issue which do not change your brothers passing issues and so on.

Tigsteroonie

GoodLuckGemma said:

Would anyone like to walk in my shoes for a day and see what it's like ????   My parents live abroad so cannot even be here to offer support ........

Would you like advice, or would you just like a hug? 

LadyHarris

I am going to reply from his side as i am in a situation quite similar . I inherited a 7 bedroom property which i rent out  and the money is in a separate account for repairs and maintenance that may need doing. We also jointly own the property we live in mortgage free I have 4 grown and left home children I have no pension or savings as i stayed home to bring the children up my choice  In my will i have left the large property and account to my children and my half share to my children with a lifetime interest to my husband . I have not discussed this with him as i do not feel putting my children first is the wrong thing to do . I will add my marriage is not particularly great but i honestly think we stayed together for the children and it became habit we rub along ok most of the time but that's it. I really feel that there are underlying issues here and you may need to look at other problems other than the will you can either accept his choices or move on the choice can only be made by you.