Husband has willed our home to Daughter without consulting me 😢

Mojisola

GoodLuckGemma said:

He NEVER discussed anything with me.
He just went ahead & made his arrangements WITHOUT consulting me at all.  Our home is our Matrimonial home purchased 18 years ago and I have an 8 year old child.  Do you think it's unreasonable that I want my name on the Title Deeds ?   I am the mother of his only child and I have health problems.  Also he is 14 years older than me and I feel this is bullying behaviour ! 😢😕

Is this how he behaves towards you in other areas of your life?
I would be very upset but then we've always owned our home jointly. I wouldn't have waited 18 years without having shared ownership. 
As you are younger than him, it's possible that he is worried that you may have another relationship after he dies and that the property would be left to that person, leaving your daughter with no inheritance. Why he doesn't consider you important enough to discuss this with you is something we don't know. 
This worry is often dealt with by owning the property as 'tenants in common' with each of you owning half the house. You can both then leave your share to your daughter while giving the survivor the right to stay in the house. This guarantees that she will receive at least half the value of the house as an inheritance. 

KatrinaWaves

What difference does owning the home vs having a life interest have to you? Clearly he wants his daughter to have the family home, not for you to sell it and downsize to a flat, or to sell it and rent and spend the money on popcorn and arcade machines.

I am just trying to work out what your issue is, you will have his pension and a home until you die. You appear to be overreacting to extremes, what is your actual 'worry'

tacpot12

Your husband should have consulted you. But your choice now is to get divorced to make this point, or accept the arrangement. You will be much better off financially if you divorce him, assuming you get a good solicitor and are careful to ensure they don't rip you off. Only you can decide if this is the last straw or that it is not what you want but bearable. At the end of the day you and your daughter are being looked after to some degree. 

But you also you have plenty of time yet to improve your own pension position and it is that which will allow you to pay the bills on a house you don't own. His pension would also pay such bills and with your own pension provision would potentially allow you to fund a care home if you need to.  

GoodLuckGemma

My worry is that he clearly doesn't respect me enough to add my name to our Title Deed as his wife.  He is rude and disrespectful to me in our marriage also. He says VERY NASTY things about my mother & father who have only been kind and loving towards HIM.
NOW my child is saying to me that she would LOVE to live somewhere else and actually doesn't really like our house !!  I feel TRAPPED like I have no rights and have to stay here regardless of how unhappy this makes me !!!  Or how ignorant and rude my husband actually is 😢😢

DCFC79

GoodLuckGemma said:

He NEVER discussed anything with me.
He just went ahead & made his arrangements WITHOUT consulting me at all.  Our home is our Matrimonial home purchased 18 years ago and I have an 8 year old child.  Do you think it's unreasonable that I want my name on the Title Deeds ?   I am the mother of his only child and I have health problems.  Also he is 14 years older than me and I feel this is bullying behaviour ! 😢😕

Have you spoken to him why he has done this, asked him for his reasoning ?

I find it odd he didn't discuss with you what he was going to do and just went ahead and did it.

Has he done anything else strange ?

KatrinaWaves

GoodLuckGemma said:

My worry is that he clearly doesn't respect me enough to add my name to our Title Deed as his wife.  He is rude and disrespectful to me in our marriage also. He says VERY NASTY things about my mother & father who have only been kind and loving towards HIM.
NOW my child is saying to me that she would LOVE to live somewhere else and actually doesn't really like our house !!  I feel TRAPPED like I have no rights and have to stay here regardless of how unhappy this makes me !!!  Or how ignorant and rude my husband actually is 😢😢

Why are you bringing your 8 year old daughter into this 'argument'

Keep her out of it for pitys sake.

GoodLuckGemma

Well no.  But he ALWAYS wants his own way......he just suits himself and if I don't like it - tough !   IF he had been interested in my opinion on our home - he would have consulted me wouldn't he ??  I have health problems - so there is NO WAY I could work enough to have a private pension 😢.   Also I am SOLE day to day carer for our Daughter as he doesn't bother parenting much.  He leaves it 95% down to me and he pays the bills - which he often complains about !!!!   Does anyone on here understand why I am so unhappy ??
😢😢

NBLondon

Did you not raise the question of being on the Deeds at the time of house purchase?  You were 30 plus at the time so not a foolish young girl swept off her feet by an older man.

Have you only just noticed his attitude after 19 years together?  Were there no warning bells ringing in the 10-11 years between purchase of house /  marriage and birth of child?

He seems to have done a reasonable thing - albeit in what some would consider an old-fashioned way.

-taff

I have zero sympathy for you. You chose to make the choices you made, you chose not to work, not to have your own money. How on earth can you surprised he wants to make sure his daughter [ and yours?] is provided for. I find it very difficult to believe your child says things like that unless she's been prompted by you.

Highland76

GoodLuckGemma said:

My worry is that he clearly doesn't respect me enough to add my name to our Title Deed as his wife.  He is rude and disrespectful to me in our marriage also. He says VERY NASTY things about my mother & father who have only been kind and loving towards HIM.
NOW my child is saying to me that she would LOVE to live somewhere else and actually doesn't really like our house !!  I feel TRAPPED like I have no rights and have to stay here regardless of how unhappy this makes me !!!  Or how ignorant and rude my husband actually is 😢😢

TBH you have much, much bigger issues in your marriage than who the house is willed to.  Like communication, trust, mutual respect just to name a few.