Husband has willed our home to Daughter without consulting me 😢

onwards&upwards

The daughter could have her own hands tied in the future, if she is disabled or reliant on benefits at some point in the future she won’t be able to give large sums of money to her mum as that would be deprivation of assets 

MoneySeeker1

onwards&upwards said:

The daughter could have her own hands tied in the future, if she is disabled or reliant on benefits at some point in the future she won’t be able to give large sums of money to her mum as that would be deprivation of assets 

Also a very valid point.

It may well be that daughter is fair-minded and would give mother back some of her own money (should OP transfer to a cheaper house) - but wouldn't be allowed to do so because of this.

So mother could end up knowing her daughter has the money/is willing to give her her own money back again and was being prevented from doing so because of this.

maman

I don't think this arrangement is as unusual or as shocking as many posters suggest. Many people, especially those with children from previous relationships, have wills designed to ensure that their children will be provided for. This is to guard against a partner potentially remarrying and passing the inheritance to a new partner or step children. In this case, with OP being much younger than her husband, there is a higher likelihood. 

What is different is that OP's husband owns the house whereas many would be tenants in common so only have half a house to bequeath. 

OP has chosen not to come back and give any further information so maybe  we'll never know why her OH owns the house outright or why she's not contested this before or why she's stayed in a relationship with someone she considers rude . That's fair enough, maybe she just wanted to let off steam or she's decided a way forward. 

MoneySeeker1

Or maybe she was she was so horrified/shocked at that first few posters actually agreeing with that husband of hers that she didnt come back and see that there are people who also know (as clearly she does) that he is in the wrong bigtime - or perhaps she's now busily arranging to divorce him (if she's got any sense).

AskAsk

doesn't sound nice.  sorry to hear this.  i just looked up the law and it states he can do this unfortunately
https://www.co-oplegalservices.co.uk/media-centre/articles-jan-apr-2017/can-you-disinherit-your-spouse/

if you want his assets, and just read a few comments on the thread and not all, you can divorce him and claim the assets under divorce 

GoodLuckGemma

Hello everyone !  🥰
Yes I am still here and all of your comments on here are VERY helpful and I am actually learning a lot from you all !!!  🥰👍 
Our home was purchased 1 year AFTER we married and I never put my name on it because he paid in a large deposit and because I am not and never have been a gold-digger.  I just didn't think it was that important 😟
All these 18 years later he criticises my poor parents frequently - saying snidey put down things and after my daughter and I returned from visiting our lovely relatives in  Ireland   (which he booked for us to go)  he told ME to "go back to Paddyland" !!!!!  😟😰😰
He is English and white Anglo Saxon male.  I am Irish-British and 14 years younger than him.  Our daughter is at Primary School locally but LOVES Ireland and would quite happily live there ! 

AskAsk

GoodLuckGemma said:

Hello everyone !  🥰
Yes I am still here and all of your comments on here are VERY helpful and I am actually learning a lot from you all !!!  🥰👍 
Our home was purchased 1 year AFTER we married and I never put my name on it because he paid in a large deposit and because I am not and never have been a gold-digger.  I just didn't think it was that important 😟
All these 18 years later he criticises my poor parents frequently - saying snidey put down things and after my daughter and I returned from visiting our lovely relatives in  Ireland   (which he booked for us to go)  he told ME to "go back to Paddyland" !!!!!  😟😰😰
He is English and white Anglo Saxon male.  I am Irish-British and 14 years younger than him.  Our daughter is at Primary School locally but LOVES Ireland and would quite happily live there ! 

well, good news.  english law on divorce favours the woman.  it doesn't matter whose names is on what in a marriage when it comes to divorce.  women with young children always end up the winner when it comes to asset split on divorce.  we have a few male friends who have been taken to the cleaners when they got divorced and their wives have ended up with money that wasn't really theirs, ouch.

here is a guide if you want to go down that route
http://bevanevemy.co.uk/how-to-divide-assets-in-a-uk-divorce/

MoneySeeker1

GoodLuckGemma said:

Hello everyone !  🥰
Yes I am still here and all of your comments on here are VERY helpful and I am actually learning a lot from you all !!!  🥰👍 
Our home was purchased 1 year AFTER we married and I never put my name on it because he paid in a large deposit and because I am not and never have been a gold-digger.  I just didn't think it was that important 😟

Well that makes things even clearer imo - ie that it was literally only one year after marriage (ie very much still the "honeymoon" stage then) where this happened - rather than it being a house he owned on his own before meeting you.

What should have happened at the time he bought your joint house is he automatically put both your names down as joint owners of it - it wasn't up to you to have to ask. He was supposed to do it off his own bat without blinking an eye about it - because you were his wife and it was bought after marriage.

The daughter not born until some years subsequent to that.

It was a marriage and not "living together". So much for "with all my worldly goods I thee endow" (ie as per the marriage service). Just the sheer wording of that marriage service makes it very plain that goods bought in an official marriage are joint property.

olgadapolga

MoneySeeker1 said:

It was a marriage and not "living together". So much for "with all my worldly goods I thee endow" (ie as per the marriage service). Just the sheer wording of that marriage service makes it very plain that goods bought in an official marriage are joint property.

These words weren't part of the vows I - or my husband - made. But we see our marriage as a partnership and have shared everything equally, regardless of who was earning more at any one time.

Other people's marriages are different. The people who purchased our last home were very odd. Both came to view the house (multiple times, they were a bit of a pain) but it was the husband who made the offer. It was very clear that he was in charge and it was his name only that the conveyancer used, hers was never mentioned. The mortgage and house were in his name only. It was bizarre. It was almost as though his wife didn't count for anything other than being "his" wife.

Similar situation occurred with a friend of mine but her set-up was even more odd (to me, anyway). She had a well paid job before she met him, moved into HIS house and then married him. They had children, she gave up her job to look after them and when they moved house, the new house was solely in his name. But they also had their own bank accounts (I have no idea how their finances were managed once she gave up working) but just after they were married, they invited us to visit for a meal. When we got there, complete with wine, etc., (as you do) they announced that we'd be going to a local pub instead. Fine. Found a table at the pub, sat down to decide what to order and then the husband disappeared. He came back a few minutes later with a drink and announced that he'd ordered and paid for his meal. Just his meal. Not hers. Or ours. Who goes to a pub with others and doesn't buy a round of drinks, even? If I'd invited friends out for a meal, I'd have paid for it. Certainly before my friend married this chap, that was how we used to do things. If I asked her out, I paid and vice versa. It was very odd (in my eyes, anyway). But apparently normal to them. 

MoneySeeker1

Agree with you on that one Olga. 

I was quoting the most typical marriage service we have - ie the wording from the Anglican service. Wouldn't have used that wording myself if I'd ever got married - but there would have been equivalent wording to indicate "Ours is ours - jointly".

I think the signs of meanness in a man (or vice-versa) probably show up before things ever get as far as marriage. I know I always tried to use my "head" (as well as emotions) to evaluate boyfriends back when and, if I spotted that they were mean they soon got chucked - as I thought "If this is what they are like at this stage - how much worse might they get if we got married?". That sort of "going out for a meal" scenario played out one time when a particular boyfriend took me out for a meal and I thought "Huh?! When he comes round my place I cook a particularly nice meal for us and even provide the wine and he's been covering the costs when it's his turn (and he then took me out for a meal - not being a cook himself obviously)". I chucked him pretty soon after an incident where we'd had a main course and I waited politely to be offered a pudding by him and wasn't - so (because I was still hungry and wanted a pudding I  said that I was going to get one for myself and, being polite, offered him one too - and he accepted!!!!!). That was The End for him - "Next please.....".