5 months to emerge as a butterfly

benbenandme

So things aren't looking good for me and Andy. We were messaging last night and he has admitted his anxiety is the problem. It hasn't been great for the last couple of weeks and it has very quickly become like we've been together years and we're both having to make more effort than we should this early on if that makes sense? I actually don't feel sad about it, he's such a lovely guy and in so many ways is exactly what I want, but the anxiety is crippling. I can cope with his physical health issues but this is exhausting. He feels the same. We're going to chat on Monday but not sure there is really much else to say. It's a shame as he is great but already I'm looking forward to getting back to my walking etc, I've barely done any for weeks as he has been so limited due to his back.
I got very little sleep last night, will be taking it easy today. I'll get the tree and do some banking bits etc. 

superpup

I’m sorry, that’s really sad as it seemed to be going so well. If he was in a better place anxiety wise, would it change things in the future? 

It does show that there are some good ones out there though x
(goes back to lurking 😂)

benbenandme

I've had a good chat with him on the phone this morning and we've both agreed that it was moving too fast, neither of us want to call it a day just yet so we're going to try stepping it back a bit and going back to more like dating and seeing each other 2 - 3 times a week rather than always staying over. He's popping in later to help me get the Christmas tree in its holder, but then he's taking the kids out and I'm going to have a nap as I'm knackered and have a headache due to lack of sleep. Fingers crossed things might improve,we'll see. 
The tree was a bargain - 6ft Nordman fir for £19 in B&Q
The laptop has been playing up this morning and has taken me 2 hours to manage to log in ...

Sarahwithlove

Hopefully taking a step back will be enough for you both as it sounds like it was going well. 

benbenandme

I had a very early night last night (8.30ish) and am wide awake this morning now, I feel so much better for a good nights sleep. I feel I need a list for today, it will mainly be a pottering about kinda day but there's a few bits I need to get done  

• Prep roast dinner
• Finish putting up all xmas decs and then put away the boxes / packaging
• Clean bathroom
• Empty washing basket
• Sort out what I still need to get for xmas and get ordering done
• Take all rubbish out
• Mop floors / hoover through
• Sort out excel on laptop
• Write some Christmas cards
• Update kitchen whiteboard
• See Mum / walk the dog
• Cut ds hair

I also want to start thinking about financial goals and plans for next year, I love the end of a year for that

benbenandme

Most of the list has been done, will update quickly ...

Prep roast dinner   DONEFinish putting up all xmas decs and then put away the boxes / packaging  DONEClean bathroomEmpty washing basket  DONESort out what I still need to get for xmas and get ordering doneTake all rubbish out DONEMop floors / hoover through DONESort out excel on laptop DONEWrite some Christmas cardsUpdate kitchen whiteboard Need to bring a new pen home from work first See Mum / walk the dog DONECut ds hair CANCELLED - GONE TO WORK INSTEAD
A cheeky £1 bet I did earlier has won me £29 too which is very welcome

benbenandme

Hmm, well that copying and pasting didn't work very well 

redcurlypanda

My heart goes out to you & Andy.
Anxiety & depression have been part of my life since a very early age.  It really is debilitating but with love, understanding & care the right person really can help to make life so much better.  xx
On another note I look forward to reading about your financial goals & plans for next year - let's hope it's a good one!  xx

savingmore

so sorry to hear about andy and you, hoping perhaps a slower pace will be beneficial.  glad to see go got some mojo back today.  agree with the end of year planning, i love making financial plans too!

Drawingaline

Sorry to hear about the relationship hiccup. It does sound like you are both brilliant at communication though, which is a massive hurdle overcome already! I hope you both manage to find a good balance and things work out.