5 months to emerge as a butterfly

benbenandme

So work today went fine. I did give in and text him and I'm actually glad that I did. We messaged each other about 5/6 times, purely about football and inconsequential nothingness. I know everyone will think I'm mad for being in touch with him but we had a funny relationship - we both knew it wouldn't work long term, mainly due to our age difference, but underneath it all we always got on really well as mates. All the self-help stuff says to cut contact and move on but actually I feel like what's happened has happened and rather than shut him out for good I genuinely want him in my life in some form, as a friend, and I don't want to lose that. I am not ready to meet up with him to watch football or anything like that, but just the odd friendly text is fine. I feel much calmer since I messaged him, he replied saying he was glad I messaged, he hadn't messaged me as he thought I wouldn't want to hear from him and he was trying to respect that. 
I haven't told anyone in real life as I know what their response would be, but for me it feels right.  

beanielou

You can only do what is best for you.

savingholmes

It takes time  to get used to a new way of living. What happened was a shock and you had no time to prepare and then on top of that we are still in this weird lockdown where we have less access to friends than normal. 

janb5

It`s very early days.  I think you would do better not to be in regular contact as it will be ultimately too painful. 
You didn`t spend 9 years with him thinking it would be ` temporary`.  The age difference is irrelevant.
No one deserves to be treated that shabbily by their partner.  
Please nurture yourself and talk to your friends but really I`d counsel not being in contact as otherwise you`re condoning `bad` bahaviour`

Drawingaline

I think you will find as life starts to open up again that you will start texting less and less and eventually lose touch. You can only do what's right for you, but I would just say be cautious and hold fire on meeting up. I know what you mean about needing friends at this time though. 

benbenandme

Morning all, I do understand the logic of not contacting him and last time we split up I was fine with it, however this time feels different. We were back together for a year and it wasn't like a normal relationship, it was companionship for both of us yet we both knew underneath that it wasn't a long-term thing. I am not planning on contacting him every day, just now and then when I feel the need to. I didn't message him again yesterday, in fact I was awake til 2am this morning chatting with someone else online I'll keep you updated on that one
Today I m now stupidly tired but I'm working from home so not too bad. I like the fact that today I can take it a bit easier if I want, do some of my work tonight if I choose, I don't need to answer to anyone else It's a bit of a wet miserable day out so I might even have a pj day. 
I have tidied up downstairs, just need to hoover through now. I need to get my steps in but other than that I'll be squeezing stuff in around my work:  checking the end of the month banking stuff, sorting the car insurance and maybe making some plans for July.

benbenandme

A busy day at work today, home now and Bournemouth are playing tonight so it will be a footie night for me
Mr S has text me a couple of times, nothing of any significance, just general chit chat conversation. I have also been messaging the new person I've been chatting with - we're meeting tomorrow for a socially distanced coffee
Dinner tonight will be salmon and rice, or maybe egg fried rice with king prawns in it, hmm yeah, probably that one.

Sarahwithlove

Shame about the Bournemouth score. 

benbenandme

Sarahwithlove - it was shocking wasn't it Championship here we come ...
So, in true old school benbenandme style I have just completed day 1 of the 30 day Shred ... that (and not biting my nails again) are my new challenges for July

benbenandme

Went for coffee today with a guy I've been chatting with - nice guy but no spark but never mind, did me good to get out the house, chat to someone new and get out of my comfort zone We walked and talked and it meant I'd got my 10,000 steps done by lunchtime
Not done much else today, came home and did school stuff all afternoon. Waiting for a local fisherman to deliver me some fish for tonight's dinner, then need to take the dog out.
Spends today = £40 petrol and £2.50 car park.