Old Style Weight Loss 2020 - Part 2

Brambling

Izadora said:

Blue Doggy and Brambling, I tend to self-sabotage as well and I'm not entirely sure why. It's like it's a combination of not feeling like I deserve to have what I want and kind of hiding behind my weight - if I'm fat I can blame that for being miserable whereas losing weight would mean I'd have to think more about the reasons behind it. 

I could have written this Izadora 

sorry you feel you you have to leave General_Grant you know where we are if you change your mind, 

todays been pretty much like yesterday just a bit warm and I've been sitting here talking myself out of baking biscotti or biscuits.  I did win that argument by eating toast and jam 🙄

B - overnight oats and berries 
L - bacon and egg toasted sandwich followed by jelly with berries
D - stuffed pepper half
S - 2 slices of toast and jam, crunchy bar grapes

roundtuit

Morning xx
oo oo - hopping up and down with excitement (that'll burn off a few calories  ) I was too hot at work yesterday (who wasn't?) so this morning I tried on some 'too small' clothes that have never been worn. I am the eternal optimist! I bought them to wear to work 12 years ago - they didn't fit then either! I got the trousers on!!!!! Properly on and up and everything - the only problem was that they pushed up a roll of fat (muffin top?) - when I get rid of that I'll be able to wear those trousers for work. 

I cannot tell a lie - there was a brief moment of panic when I couldn't get them off again. For a moment I thought I was going to have to wear the trousers for the rest of my life  That's my brain - hero to zero in 0,5 seconds - panic over they are off!  I also tried on the blouse that I bought at the same time - it fits too, just a bit tight on my belly....it'll be that same 'roll' causing the problem I expect. 

Hugs to all xx Sorry I missed your birthday Izadora xx Belated many happy returns of the day xx 
Rxx

monnagran

Roundtuit,  wow, wow and wow again!  What a boost!  Hang those clothes up where you can keep looking at them and think how far you have come.

As for all those people struggling with self-image, I guess we've all been/still are there.  I blame my beloved father.  All the rest of my family, on both sides, have been slim, sporty and energetic and then I turn up.  His favourite pet names for me were Pudding and Dumpling  -  I often think of that when I see you post Dumpling, perhaps you should change your username.  If my mother was measuring me to make me something new, he would walk past chortling, "Once round Joy, twice round the gas works."  Bless him.  He would have cut his tongue out if he'd known how much that hurt.
Just think about your friends and loved ones.  How many of them did you choose because of their physical, appearance?  Would you put them down about any of their shortcomings?  So why are you so hard on yourselves?  Be kind, and start with yourself.

I had a cooking day yesterday.  Yes.  In all that heat!  The fence painter will be with me for the rest of the week at least, so I had to re-stock.  I made bread, flapjacks, fruit cake, biscuits, choc biscuit cake, cheese scones and sausage rolls.
There was a lot of tasting, a-licking of the spoons and the mysterious passage of broken bits from tin to mouth.
I will be glad when he finishes.
On the other hand "I can't lose weight until my fences are painted" must be unique among excuses.

Now a thought for all of you to ponder today.

If our eyes could see character instead of bodies, how different our ideas of beauty would be.

SIRENS

Well done roundtuit, that's brilliant nsv. 👍
Brambling, hope you sister is doing better xx
I am popping on quickly with a gain of +2 I am so very disappointed I thought I'd been well behaved last week, I'm really not sure what else to do, I hardly eat bread only toast on Sunday, I don't eat butter, weigh my cheese, eat lots of fruit and veg, my newly painted wagon has a great big dent in it already and I'm too fed up to mend it. 

Ignore me, I'll be okay by the end of work today and back to normal again.

I remember my step father telling me as a teenager when I was on another diet, not to bother as people like us would always be fat so just accept it. I never have. But it's  hard sometimes xx

dumpling

Hi everyone, I'm still here, still waiting for results and still eating to self-soothe. I've bought the new two chubby cubs planner so I can have a fresh start. I thought I would do better yesterday as I made a home made lasagne with loads and loads of veg in it. It was delicious and healthy but I had three portions of it and had to be rolled into the living room like a beached whale as I was so full. I then spent the evening being very angry with myself so had an ice-cream to make myself feel better!! I refuse to give up though. 

I have spent my lifetime being obsessed with food. I had an appalling childhood, my dad was a cruel tyrant who started beating me up when I was just three, my mum was an anorexic so we had lots of food issues there not least was being hungry all the time as my mum kept putting us all on 'diets'. My safe place was with my lovely nanna but she married an evil man who was a paedophile and I didn't escape his clutches until I was 13. By then the damage was done and food was my only friend. It didn't judge me, it didn't hurt me and made me feel comforted. 

I am in a good place now though, my husband is so loving and caring, my children are gorgeous and I have forgiven and reconciled with all my family. My 2 worst abusers are dead now and can no longer hurt me but I do have scars both mentally and physically from them. I am usually a very happy person and if I didn't have all these health issues I wouldn't even care that I was so fat....but I do have a lot of health problems and I am worried about dying and leaving my lovely family. So yet again, I will try and focus on what I am eating and make better choices. The planner looks like it is a lot of fun to use so hopefully this time I will get past week 1. 

I hope I haven't upset anyone reading this post, my intent was to try and explain why I can't stop overeating. I know lots of us have similar issues and I am so sorry. I want to be able to stick 2 fingers up at my past and move on to a happy healthy future and with the help of the people I love, I think I can. 
Monna, I hope you are not upset by my username, I chose it because I am living in Devon and I am as round as I am tall  
Have a blooming fantastic day, enjoy the sunshine, eat salad! xxxx

monnagran

My very dear Dumpling, you'd have to go a very long way to upset me.  I'm almost un-upsetable.  And as for you, your story is one that makes me want to go and punch someone.  Even the high five in the face with a chair wouldn't be enough.  You are one very precious person who deserves the best in life. Hugs.

Molly41

Hello x
Dumpling - I would so much like to meet you in real life. We have such similar issues - my food problems started as a child and I too was sexually abused by my paternal grandfather and those scars don't fade. I was also sexually bullied at school and it was very bad - I couldn't tell anyone as when I tried to tell  my parents about the abuse they didn't believe me. I know have a very loving relationship with my husband and 4 adult children - I tried very hard to bring them up very differently to my upbringing. I hope they had a good childhood. I too am reconciled with my mother and miss dad very much so not all bad - love my mum very much x
Brambling - hope your sister is doing ok x
Anyway weigh in today and id like to report a loss of  1lb so ok with that, given there are lots of raspberries and cream atm! Hope you all have a good day x Hugs to those that have gained and well done to those who have lost or STS x

CRANKY40

Good morning all, 

Not just me that taught my son what was inappropriate touching by the age of 2 then? I was so utterly determined that nobody would do to him what was done to me. I was lucky - my abuser died when I was relatively young but it was hard when I was older to hear other members of my family saying what a lovely man he'd been when I knew he wasn't. His wife (my great aunt) was one of the loveliest people that you could ever wish to meet and she would have been devastated so I kept quiet. It was still worth it not to hurt her. 

Anyhow, onwards and hopefully downwards weightwise. I'm still a sugar free zone. This meant that when I made vanilla ice cream last night for the HT and his friend to have today, I had to ask the HT to taste test it. Apparently it's very good. I'll stick to the sugar free chocolate and a bowl of strawberries. 

Brambling I hope your sister is put back together and home. What a worry for you.

Take care all of you 

Izadora

Morning All,

dumpling There really aren't the words to say how sorry I am for what you went through and I can't imagine the level of strength it's taken to forgive them and create a loving, caring family of your own.

Gingerlily Different diets definitely suit different people. I seem to be pretty rubbish at all kinds at the moment but the only way I've had any success in the past is by following calories / points etc. Any diet that tells me there's anything I can't have is pretty much certain to make me stuff myself with whatever it is that's forbidden.

Blue Doggy I think yesterday was too hot to sit in the garden, let alone work out there! 

Brambling It's a shame all arguments can't be solved with jam on toast

roundtuit Congratulations on getting into your new clothes. I did have to laugh at your hero to zero moment though, sorry I once managed to rip a new dress because I got so panicked trying to get it off that I forgot that it had a (rather too well) concealed zip at the side

monnagran It's amazing the damage that people can do with the best of intentions isn't it. My mum was fat as a kid and didn't want the same for me but would be horrified if she knew just how badly putting me on a diet at a very young age affected me. You're quite right that we pick friends based on personality rather than looks but, unfortunately, there are still plenty of people around who make judgments based on size. Okay, they're not people I'd want to have anything to do with but it still annoys me. I can't believe you managed to cook all of that in yesterday's heat, it sounds delicious though

Sirens Sorry you had a gain, they're always disappointing but it seems particularly harsh when you've been that good. Give us the wagon and we'll knock out the dents and give it a fresh lick of paint so that it's all shiny and new looking for you

Molly Well done for the loss, especially with the temptation of raspberries and cream. From the way you talk about your family you definitely gave your children a happy childhood and I'm sure they know how much they're loved.

I've got to go shopping later so will pick up lots of salad, as it's what I seem to be craving in this heat. I'll just try to ignore the fact that I'm also craving ice cream

Best of luck and stay safe everyone xx

Gingerlily

Hi

(( distanced hugs )) dumpling and molly and cranky and for those self sabotaging and feeling unworthy (( you’re not )).

Commiserations Sirens.

Yay roundtuit that’s fab you’ll soon be wearing them.

Well done molly on the loss.

Izadora, I’m usually the same. I’ve not forbidden anything this time around, I have  favourite things in the freezer and cupboards and alcohol in which I’ve never given up for so long before. The couple of times I’ve thought about having something I’ve decided I didn’t really want it. I have no idea where this motivation has come from just hope it continues and wish I could share it out. 

The only change to yesterday’s plan was a bit more chocolate than I usually have. Enjoyed it though. 

Today’s menu

Breakfast: dippy egg with a couple of streaky bacon soldiers. Coffee with cream.

 Lunch: veg and pork stir fry. 

Dinner: salad of some sort, undecided at mo. Raspberries, cream and chopped nuts. 

Take care all