now solved.

pollypenny

Both parties are childish, but quite honestly, my sympathy is with the partner.  'They', a rather pedantic pronoun for one person, does not have a warm welcome home, but it ordered to keep his or her distance and shower immediately!  

I'd be keeping my distance permanently.  

Marisco

pollypenny said:

Both parties are childish, but quite honestly, my sympathy is with the partner.  'They', a rather pedantic pronoun for one person, does not have a warm welcome home, but it ordered to keep his or her distance and shower immediately!  

I'd be keeping my distance permanently.  

So would I, all that worrying about everything would drive me nuts!

little_green

thank you for all the replies, going to leave it at that. can't seem to delete the thread but will stop checking. Have made up my mind I need to have a serious chat with OH & don't want swayed otherwise. 

Pollycat

Marisco said:

pollypenny said:

Both parties are childish, but quite honestly, my sympathy is with the partner.  'They', a rather pedantic pronoun for one person, does not have a warm welcome home, but it ordered to keep his or her distance and shower immediately!  

I'd be keeping my distance permanently.  

So would I, all that worrying about everything would drive me nuts!

In fairness, it's very hard living with anxiety.

My elderly Mum worries about everything - and always has.

Nothing she can control but she still worries.

I would visit her and find her sitting in her chair with an unopened letter in her hand. Sometimes it would be from the Council or utility company, sometimes just a circular addressed to 'The Occupier'.

She would be panicking regardless, too worried to even open it.

No amount of explaining or reasoning with her made the slightest bit of difference.

I found it very exhausting.

She must have found it exponentially so.

Marisco

Pollycat said:

Marisco said:

pollypenny said:

Both parties are childish, but quite honestly, my sympathy is with the partner.  'They', a rather pedantic pronoun for one person, does not have a warm welcome home, but it ordered to keep his or her distance and shower immediately!  

I'd be keeping my distance permanently.  

So would I, all that worrying about everything would drive me nuts!

In fairness, it's very hard living with anxiety.

My elderly Mum worries about everything - and always has.

Nothing she can control but she still worries.

I would visit her and find her sitting in her chair with an unopened letter in her hand. Sometimes it would be from the Council or utility company, sometimes just a circular addressed to 'The Occupier'.

She would be panicking regardless, too worried to even open it.

No amount of explaining or reasoning with her made the slightest bit of difference.

I found it very exhausting.

She must have found it exponentially so.

I can imagine, but I know my faults, and patience (or lack of) is one of them I'm afraid.

suki1964

It is so annoying when the OP deletes the original post

I think from now on any post I spend my time replying to Im going to quote so deleting makes no sense

gettingtheresometime

Retireby40 said:

gettingtheresometime said:

Retireby40 said:

What would worry more is why he was on a 2 week holiday without you? Is that a normal part of your relationship to go on separate holidays for so long?

Well I'm planning on going away for a month, possible 5 weeks without my OH.....

How old are you? How long is the relationship? What is the nature of the trip?

If it's some kind of work or study project or volunteering or something I would understand. However I dont know many couples who go away on individual holidays either solo (unless its Everest or an expedition type thing) or with their mates for 2 weeks. A weekend to football match or stag/hen party but I would be very worried if my other half said Hey me and the girls are going to marbella for 2 weeks make sure and feed the cat.

Sorry Retireby40 only just saw your question.
I plan (Coronavirus willing) to walk the Camino de Sanitago and am well over 21!

Savvy_Sue

In case the OP does check back, rather than trying to talk about these issues (again) and getting probably the same answers (again), it might be worth going for some relationships counselling. You don't have to be married to go to Relate, and if (as I suspect) he refuses to go, you can go on your own. You might find that very helpful in seeing a way forward.