now solved.

little_green

Just to update OH has text me saying that one of their colleagues has the flu. I replied saying shouldn't they get tested for the virus?  To which OH replied saying "you know what why did I bother telling you..how stupid of me to think that you would take this like a normal person"

Good question why did you bother telling me? .... & Tbh k think the virus is at the forefront of a lot of people's minds esp. if the know someone to be displaying related symptoms. Yes o have anxiety but I'm not the only person being cautious about the virus. 

 I haven't replied as frankly I can't be bothered with a back & forth exchange of texts. 

Thanks for the replies I will respond properly when work is less busy 

Retireby40

Pollycat said:

Retireby40 said:

Pollycat said:

HRH_MUngo said:

I think the sulking is childish, but I also think expecting him to have a full shower before touching him is over-the top.  Washing his hands and face would have done.

I do think HIS reaction is far more over the top than yours though.

If I'd been travelling for 12 hours, the first thing I'd want to do is jump in the shower.

Surely you wouldnt just walk into the house straight to the shower without as much as a brief hug and kiss and welcome?
I can only imagine how some women or men would think if as soon as their other halves arrived home from whatever event (not sporting or gym) ran straight to the shower without some form of greeting.

Also this person has been away from his partner and family for 2 weeks. Possibly tired, and as soon as he gets in through the door he has someone barking orders wash your hands, have a shower, brush your teeth etc it could be abit annoying.

That said his reaction does seem over the top.

What would worry more is why he was on a 2 week holiday without you? Is that a normal part of your relationship to go on separate holidays for so long?

Probably not before this virus.

But yes, probably now.

But then again, I'm not in the habit of taking 2 week holidays without my partner.

Was the OP 'barking orders'?

She says 'it was agreed'.

While she may saw it was agreed clearly her partner had a gripe about being told to go and wash his hands and have a shower the minute he got home like a child who had been out playing in the muck.

It will be interesting to hear from the OP why her partner of 6 years was on holiday without her for 2 weeks. Certainly not a normal thing in a relationship and maybe could be a signal for something else and to why her partner is being this way with her. He clearly is overreacting especially if he is going off on one when she simply says maybe its corona virus.

lisyloo

Some people I know go on skiing trips or biking trips without their partner if their partner doesn’t enjoy that hobby, this is normally a week, but I’m saying there could be a reason.

hes over reacting and also behaving very childishly in his sulking rather than trying to resolve differences in a grown up way.

Pollycat

little_green said:

Just to update OH has text me saying that one of their colleagues has the flu. I replied saying shouldn't they get tested for the virus?  To which OH replied saying "you know what why did I bother telling you..how stupid of me to think that you would take this like a normal person"

Good question why did you bother telling me? .... & Tbh k think the virus is at the forefront of a lot of people's minds esp. if the know someone to be displaying related symptoms. Yes o have anxiety but I'm not the only person being cautious about the virus. 

 I haven't replied as frankly I can't be bothered with a back & forth exchange of texts. 

Thanks for the replies I will respond properly when work is less busy 

Tested?

You may do well to read this to put your fears into context and get some perspective on this.

https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/coronavirus-covid-19/

Symptoms of coronavirus

The symptoms of coronavirus are:

• a cough
• a high temperature
• shortness of breath

But these symptoms do not necessarily mean you have the illness.

The symptoms are similar to other illnesses that are much more common, such as cold and flu.

Check if you need medical help

NHS 111 has an online coronavirus service that can tell you if you need medical help and advise you what to do.

Use this service if:

• you think you might have coronavirus
• in the last 14 days you've been to a country or area with a high risk of coronavirus – see our coronavirus advice for travellers
• you've been in close contact with someone with coronavirus

I can see why your partner reacted as he did when you mentioned testing.

Your comment was way, way over the top.

Mojisola

little_green said:

To which OH replied saying "you know what why did I bother telling you..how stupid of me to think that you would take this like a normal person"

If he sulks a lot and talks to you like this, what are his redeeming qualities that keep you together?

As you know you get anxious about things, have you ever tried counselling to improve things - it seems that it's an issue that triggers his behaviour.

gettingtheresometime

Retireby40 said:

What would worry more is why he was on a 2 week holiday without you? Is that a normal part of your relationship to go on separate holidays for so long?

Well I'm planning on going away for a month, possible 5 weeks without my OH.....

Fireflyaway

I'm guessing your partner felt disappointed at not having the kind of welcome they thought was warranted after 2 weeks away. Instead of hugs and the reaction of someone who missed them, they got a lecture ( perceived that way) on hygiene. However I agree with you that hygiene is important. Even after the supermarket I'd wash my hands etc. 
Dragging it out and making silly comments is childish and designed to punish you. Ignoring you or sulking is quite controlling. There is the risk you will end up being overly nice or apologizing ( even when you are not at fault) just to break the stand off. That's possibly what they are trying to achieve. An imbalance of power to make you submit. I don't think this bodes well long term. 

Retireby40

gettingtheresometime said:

Retireby40 said:

What would worry more is why he was on a 2 week holiday without you? Is that a normal part of your relationship to go on separate holidays for so long?

Well I'm planning on going away for a month, possible 5 weeks without my OH.....

How old are you? How long is the relationship? What is the nature of the trip?

If it's some kind of work or study project or volunteering or something I would understand. However I dont know many couples who go away on individual holidays either solo (unless its Everest or an expedition type thing) or with their mates for 2 weeks. A weekend to football match or stag/hen party but I would be very worried if my other half said Hey me and the girls are going to marbella for 2 weeks make sure and feed the cat.

NeilCr

Retireby40 said:t

gettingtheresometime said:

Retireby40 said:

What would worry more is why he was on a 2 week holiday without you? Is that a normal part of your relationship to go on separate holidays for so long?

Well I'm planning on going away for a month, possible 5 weeks without my OH.....

How old are you? How long is the relationship? What is the nature of the trip?

If it's some kind of work or study project or volunteering or something I would understand. However I dont know many couples who go away on individual holidays either solo (unless its Everest or an expedition type thing) or with their mates for 2 weeks. A weekend to football match or stag/hen party but I would be very worried if my other half said Hey me and the girls are going to marbella for 2 weeks make sure and feed the cat.

I am in my 60s and have been with my partner for some ten years

She is, currently, in Tenerife for a week with her two sons and granddaughter. She likes that  type of holiday (sun and lazing around). Not my idea of fun at all! We are both completely relaxed with the situation. I am busy with friends and a bunch of us are going to a concert together, too (she did fancy that).

There can be many good reasons for a couple to do separate things (including holidays) and be happy and in a healthy relationship. Personally, I find couples that insist on doing everything together a bit odd - but, I fully understand that it works for them

ETA. I do agree that the partner's reaction is totally OTT but I do think the OP could be a bit more giving with the greeting when getting home. And the comment about being tested was extreme

strawb_shortcake

Wrt the holiday, I think some people are seeing issues where there are none  given the OP has mentioned her anxiety these comments are likely to hinder than help. 
I know lots of couples of that holiday separate, my Aunty and Uncle did it for years and that was going back to the 80's. 
I went away for 15 nights last year, and left my Husband and 3 children, it was a spontaneous opportunity, encouraged by Husband after what had been a difficult and traumatic year, it did me the world of good.