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pickledonionspaceraider

deannatrois said:

I guess in the same context we were lucky we just got beaten up once a week with kicks and smacks (curled up on the floor stuff) rather than beaten with a rope like my stepfather did.  Silly me, as an eleven year old, I actually told myself as each session started that I mustn't say a word and make him lose control completely because he might kill me.  I should have said 'this is good for me, teaches me respect',  instead.  Amazingly, the fact that I was lucky it wasn't a rope didn't occur to me once, I was too scared.

That is awful.
It truly is - and no one can say different
But that is ABUSE deannatrois. Abuse.  It is not an attempt at discipline. It is a power trip and abuse...and I am very sorry this happened to you
Corporal punishment - ie getting a smack when naughty - is different to abuse. So no one is saying you should have felt or thought anything, you are talking about a completely different subject 

pickledonionspaceraider

I have got to say, sometimes, the police try and talk people out of reporting crimes. 

Just my experience, like.  No I don't have any evidence.

renegadefm

If the discipline comes from a loving family,  and don't see it as an excuse to batter and abuse children,  then its not a problem. 
Like I said if I did something wrong expect a smack, and rightly so.
But I never grew up feeling unloved. It was just the normal way to teach discipline in those days. But it must have worked otherwise how are we living in such a thug type world now? 

pickledonionspaceraider

My thoughts are that issues often arise- in society as a whole -  when you get people from different backgrounds, expecting to live different types of lifestyles. 

It is a bubbling pot of different wants, needs and normalities - then the others adapt to 'protect themselves'

It wasn't normal to carry a knife 30 year ago. Now it is. 

suki1964

Anyone who thinks smacking a child is ok really needs to take a deep hard look at themselves

Smacking, belting, caning, only teaches the child not to get caught, it doesn't change the behaviour 

I can remember having the cane because I wet the bed. I was under four years of age. How did that teach me anything other then fear?

Torry_Quine

renegadefm said:

If the discipline comes from a loving family,  and don't see it as an excuse to batter and abuse children,  then its not a problem. 
Like I said if I did something wrong expect a smack, and rightly so.
But I never grew up feeling unloved. It was just the normal way to teach discipline in those days. But it must have worked otherwise how are we living in such a thug type world now? I'm in my 50s but was never smacked as a child or got the belt at school.  It's a sign of failure to resort to hitting a child.

Torry_Quine

I'm in my 50s but was never smacked as a child or got the belt at school.  It's a sign of failure to resort to hitting a child.

MysteryRegular

suki1964 said:

Anyone who thinks smacking a child is ok really needs to take a deep hard look at themselves

Smacking, belting, caning, only teaches the child not to get caught, it doesn't change the behaviour 

I can remember having the cane because I wet the bed. I was under four years of age. How did that teach me anything other then fear?

Confusing discipline with abuse.

[Deleted User]

You do not need to smack a child in order to discipline a child. We're not allowed to go around hitting adults so I don't see why it's acceptable to hit a child...ever. 

onwards&upwards

Lover_of_Lycra said:

You do not need to smack a child in order to discipline a child. We're not allowed to go around hitting adults so I don't see why it's acceptable to hit a child...ever. 

Yep. 

Alwas thoughts its weird that that the only person you are ever legally allowed to hit is your own minor child!