Money Moral Dilemma: Should those with more children pay extra when we eat out together?

Gresp

No, you're being perfectly reasonable. You should only be paying your and your kid's share, not subsidising the others.

Just point that out. You're probably not the only one thinking it.

Alternatively, work out what you owe, then leave early (before the bill comes), leaving your share of cash on the table. Then your friends will have to rethink their system, and will hopefully take the hint.

Kim_kim

There are two really easy ways to solve this. Either you ask the waiting staff to do separate bills per family or all those that want to pay for their own do & all those that want to split it, split what’s remaining!
Tips to be left after.
Easy & fair, everyone gets what they want.

Kim_kim

frugalwin wrote: »

I’m not normally an advocate of tipping, but for large groups the staff work much harder

No they don’t.
If you have 6 tables of 4, all needing your attention it’s harder than one table of 24.
If you are serving the table of 24, they are happy you are attending to them. If you are serving one of the 6 tables, others may be waiting & aren’t happy.
I’m an ex waitress.

gloriouslyhappy

SimonHolland1 wrote: »

Me and my partner don't have any children - why should we reward others further for contributing to an unstustainable population?

Or another way to look at it, is these other people's children are going to contribute towards your pension.

Smodlet

gloriouslyhappy wrote: »

Or another way to look at it, is these other people's children are going to contribute towards your pension.

Probably not: By the time these children are in a position to pay taxes, assuming they ever do, anyone old enough to receive a pension will be compost. Grin and wink icons seem to have disappeared.

staggered

oxfcom wrote: »

I have to admit that I was quite surprised by the answers posted, since they nearly all are reacting in shock - feeling that other families are going to rip them off!

For me, I go out to eat with other families because I enjoy being with them, and don't assume they are going to rip me off. To be honest, I have only experienced this with kids ordering off the (usually significantly cheaper) kids menu, when a kids full meal isn't much different from one extra alcoholic drink. If I can afford the amount of a per family split, and assume that the other families aren't trying it on, then, why not go with it.

If money is tighter, then split the bill by who ate what, and I can't see why anyone would object.

I completely agree. If you think that someone's ripping you off, why would you want to go out for a meal with them? More to the point, why are they your friends?

Honestly, what is the point of going out for a meal, only to sit there seething that you're paying a little bit more than you ought to be? If you're that bothered, stay at home.

SandC

gertie said:

Mrsn wrote: »

I would never pay per family type scenario. Would always pay for what we’ve ordered per person! No issues or potential arguments that way...

Quite agree and whilst at it, the divide the bill by no of adults NEVER as there is always the have 3 courses that are the most expensive versus those who can only manage 1 or 2 courses and eat what they like as apprised to what is the dearest scenario. Absolutely a recipe for disaster (pardon the pun)

Oh yes, I had this scenario with family on sister in law's side.  Erm, me being the only adult there with zero kids no way am I subsidising everyone else's! 

lv

Just work the bill out as per head rather than per family. 

ZeroSum

Is this a London thing? As I've never heard of such nonsense.

And you no you don't have to get a calculator out, just a quick rec of what you've spent. Then round it up a bit to cover a tip.

If anyone tried it on with me, I'd just chuck in my share tell them thats all I'm paying, and not go out with them again. 

jancjeffries

A simple method we started years ago with our Spanish friends with whom we spent many happy times in France Spain and England. we have a “kitty”... one purse into which goes  for example £ 30 per adult and £15 for each child. No embarrassing fumblings with bills, works in restaurants and bars and supermarkets. Flexible for those who don’t have as many children. Flexible when the kids get older and start eating and drinking like adults. No arguments!!