Money Moral Dilemma: Should those with more children pay extra when we eat out together?

NeilCr

NaughtiusMaximus wrote: »

Is it? If the families with more kids had a shred of decency they would offer to pay more anyway without anyone having to bring the subject up.

Yes

These people may be really good friends and are just a bit unthinking. As I said in an earlier post I had this sort of issue when single with friends who were couples and buying rounds. They were good folks and it was not worth losing their friendship over the issue - and it, also, didn't bother me that much as I knew it wasn't deliberate

If the OP is concerned (and fair enough if they are) than there a few strategies outlined in this thread to solve the problem without going nuclear

heygringo1943

A tad off post but. We once visited a restaurant/pub with a sign saying "Kids eat for free"

No-one eats for free, & I'm pretty sure I wont pay for others "free" meals. We left & have never been back.

SuperPikachu

@OP. No you are not being unreasonable.

Spendless

This is one of those where the answers could be completely changed if the one child was revealed to be a teenager and the other families had toddlers!

Marvel1

No you are not, everyone should pay for their own family separately.

Brian_F

Divide bill by number of adults + number of children - as kids meals probably cheaper

stmartinsdiver

We need to remember that having children is very expensive, so as theses friends are doing you and the world a favour by sharing the company of their children with you during a meal, and it is only fair that you should help them by subsidising the cost of feeding all those lovely children.

Clearly they have less disposable income than you with all those extra overhead costs, so of course you can afford to help them out as you have a smaller family.

Yes, I am joking - they are 'taking the mickey' and you are daft enough to not just ask for a separate bill. We often go out with friends and even in large parties it has never been a problem paying individual bills. You will probably think the same as you but don't want to raise the topic. Just do it.

SINK_2

I had the same with friends who like large meals, a large glass of wine and coffee afterwards. As a veggie my meals are nearly always vastly cheaper and splitting the bill meant I was paying a good share of theirs. I really don't think they noticed as they were too caught up in their own worlds. Still, not as bad as the co-worker who regularly announced that if we were splitting the bill she would order the expensive dish - and was serious!

JayD

Of course it is unfair for you to be paying per family when the families are of different sizes. Are you the only one child family attending these meals? If not, speak with the others, so that you can see if you would have their support before raising it. (Nothing worse than being made to feel miserly against similar others). However, if you are the only one child family, I would hope that you had a good enough relationship with the others to raise the point, explaining that it does seem rather unfair and perhaps have a viable alternative payment arrangement to suggest.

Smodlet

Are these friends really friends? Or do they invite you only because they know you will subsidise their meals? Are you effectively paying for their company? Is it worth it? Only you know the answer to that.

You have several options or so it seems to me: Put up with it, stop going out with them or tell them you will pay only for what you order. If you prefer to keep on complaining while doing nothing to improve the situation that, too, is your right.