Money Moral Dilemma: Should those with more children pay extra when we eat out together?

bertiewhite

What are the other children's names?

If they are alphabetically before yours then no, you should split it equally, if it's the other way round then you should pay proportionally.

gertie

Mrsn wrote: »

I would never pay per family type scenario. Would always pay for what we’ve ordered per person! No issues or potential arguments that way...

Quite agree and whilst at it, the divide the bill by no of adults NEVER as there is always the have 3 courses that are the most expensive versus those who can only manage 1 or 2 courses and eat what they like as apprised to what is the dearest scenario. Absolutely a recipe for disaster (pardon the pun)

rmg1985

I have three children and would never dream of asking friends of family to pay per family. It isn’t unreasonable to expect to pay for just your own kids!

NeilCr

These "dilemmas"!

If you are uncomfortable with it then say something. It can be quite difficult if it's been going on for a while but only you know how you feel and whether it will effect your friendships (and whether or not they are that important to you).

When I became single many years ago it was noticeable that some of the couples would only buy one round between them - meaning the singles were sometimes "subsidising" the couples. But they were all good people, I was enjoying myself and, fortunately, could afford it. So I just got on with life and didn't let it bother me. I should say my partner and I always buy two rounds between us, now!

Generally, folks in these positions aren't doing it deliberately (although I can think of at least one friend (sadly deceased now)) who did take the !!!! . He was gently ribbed on occasions. It's thoughtless but I wouldn't go out on a limb (like some here) and say they can't be real friends etc etc

Buckham_uk

Have 3 kids, go out as groups now and then. Always make a point of paying separately for this reason. I wouldn’t want my friends paying unnecessarily for my kids. Anyone with friends doing this don’t have very good friends......

Newly_retired

This dilemma has happened in my family group, where one couple has six children, the others have two. Some have expensive tastes and drink a lot too, so it is unfair. Especially when one family leaves early and just puts an amount of cash on the table, nowhere near enough to cover their share! It has caused major rows. The family with the most kids are also the most well-off too.
I am all for each paying for their own.

staggered

I can't tolerate people who sit there with a calculator working out their precise share of the bill. If you're that bothered about paying a couple of quid more than your share of the bill, stay at home. They obviously can't be very good friends if you resent them a couple of quid.

silvercar

"and two of my kids shared an adult mains"

"I had a starter and dessert"

"I don't think the service deserves a tip"

All recipes for disaster. Either calculate your own share honestly, including a reasonable tip, and throw that into the pot quickly and leave the others to divide the rest as they see fit, or accept that the evening out is more than the sum of the food costs.

NBLondon

bertiewhite wrote: »

What are the other children's names?

If they are alphabetically before yours then no, you should split it equally, if it's the other way round then you should pay proportionally.

Quick - rename your child Aaron - or Aabigale if they prefer

Bellisima

We usually split the bill by the number of people if it’s a large party. If the “child” eats an adult size meal then they are counted as an adult. So if there is mum, dad and 4 kids then they pay 6 persons share (hope that makes sense?!). If the child is a small toddler who only eats a few chips or a slice of pizza then we tend to absorb their costs between the rest of the party, so mum and dad pay for 2 persons share. I’ve never heard of a “family share” it sounds most unfair. It’s rather like when a person orders several bottles of wine - we don’t share that and they pay for that separately.