Talk me down please 2

mellymoo74

He does
The only reason I left him there and didn't go down the route of removing him from the property was to be nice and so the animals weren't disrupted whilst I found Foster care. He wrecked that.
Its wedding anniversary this week and I think I'm in mourning not for him but for who and what I thought he was. 

Pol my friend knows what I came from and is very careful to make sure its clutter free so this will make him smile. 

elsien

I think that's a very valid point melly.
You're grieving for the relationship that you thought you were getting when you married,  and the life that you expected to have. And for the good bits that happened along the way before everything just imploded. And that's ok to mourn for because you loved him. And it's hard when that breaks up in ordinary circumstances, let alone everything that you've been through.
So if you need some down, sad time, that's what you need. Then pick yourself up again when you're ready. 

pollyanna_26

mellymoo74 said:

He does
The only reason I left him there and didn't go down the route of removing him from the property was to be nice and so the animals weren't disrupted whilst I found Foster care. He wrecked that.
Its wedding anniversary this week and I think I'm in mourning not for him but for who and what I thought he was. 

Pol my friend knows what I came from and is very careful to make sure its clutter free so this will make him smile. 

Although you fought hard to get the bungalow there are many bad memories connected to living there. Best to move forward .

Go easy on yourself this week . I understand the feelings not for him but for the loss of the future you thought you'd have when you married.

You stuck with him far beyond many would have done as you tried everything to make things work. The damage to both your physical and mental health was bad. The day you walked away was the best thing you ever did and a great relief to those of us who've worried for you over the years.

During the very bad times I used to listen to music when the toxic one wasn't here. It's way before your time but Richard Harris an actor also recorded a number of what were then albums. I replaced them with cds when they became available.

One of the albums/cds is called Slides. The last line of the title song is " Living well is the best revenge you can be sure" That became my mantra. You don't need to be rich to live well, freedom of choice, peace and being able to sleep without worrying what that night or the following day may bring is priceless Mel.

Take each day as it comes love. You can't change the past but you learn from it, move forward and have the best life you can.

I also used to sing " I am woman " by Helen Reddy in my head as he ranted and raved.

As I walked out of court for the last time No one's ever going to keep me down again was in my head and I've lived life that way ever since.

i felt a bit daft mentioning the floor but apart from being surprised how well you looked after just a few weeks I thought OMG she's got floor space. So lovely of your friend to pick up on the things that make you stressed and limit any anxiety.

pollyx

mellymoo74

Went to a friends tonight, played with their dog, bittersweet 

thorsoak

A great photo, Melly! xx

mellymoo74

Stage 1 for another role so getting there 
Not just looking at safety, also looking for easier roles so I can get back out and earning. 
Feel a bit better today, yesterday was bad I think because of spending time with a dog who was a smaller male Froo. 

thorsoak

You will have good days, you will have bad days - soon the good days will outweigh the bad days xxx

Archergirl

thorsoak said:

You will have good days, you will have bad days - soon the good days will outweigh the bad days xxx

I'm guessing they might be doing that already, but remember you used to have bad days and worse days so you're doing good. Yesterday just reinforced what a turd of a person he is..... Everything you do now you are doing for you xx 

mellymoo74

Gets better
He accused me of financial abuse with the housing 
So that was nice

thorsoak

Whose signature was on the claim forms, Melly?   Did you fill them in for him to sign?   In which case, he is accusing himself of fraud.