Talk me down please 2

pollyanna_26

So good to hear from you.. I've been worrying about how things are. Are you able to say what your prevoius housing officers involvement is ? I hope it's helping you.

pollyx

mellymoo74

She's lovely
Has moved to another housing association and has offered to help me with council contacts and who to speak to at current housing. 

I'm an idiot 
I keep finding out more and more about being kept isolated and yet I don't want to get him in trouble. 

pollyanna_26

BGKs time Melly. You have to put yourself first now. No ifs or buts. You are in danger and one day perhaps things will escalate so much you will no longer be around to seek that help you need.

I don't say this lightly the statistcs re those who didn't live to escape abuse are scary.

Please find and take any help and support offered and get the hell out asap.

pollyx

mellymoo74

Heads mangled Pol 
Last 17 years have been a lie
I can't decide what to do or where to go
More speaking to agencies tomorrow 

pollyanna_26

I know what it's like to live with an abuser and it does mess with your head. Putting on a front for years is damaging and needing to live that lie is too.

I'm not sure if the isolation you referred to relates to your other half pretty well living in self imposed isolation over the years or the Covoid issue.

People get prison sentences for murder for a lot less than 17 years. You've spent 17 years of your life trying to keep things calm;supportive and battling for help your husband refused to engaged with. Now things have ramped up he is not going to change in fact he's now out of control.

I said recently One life Mellly love, live it. I 'm saying that louder now. Only you can make the change we can't make it happen but we can be there for you every step of the way holding your hand and listening.

I checked on you today because I was worried. I'll keep checking as long as it takes. Maybe soon you can mothball your threads and tell us about your new life as you start on a new , different but hopefully much better and happier life.

Take care love and stay strong.

pollyx

mellymoo74

Discovered very recently that people have been cut off for talking to me
That's the catalyst 
I'm. Just so tired

pollyanna_26

Who were cut off and by whom?

I know you're tired and I'm pushing but the sooner you're out the better.

Are you managing any sleep at all?

pollyx

mellymoo74

OH
I interacted with a post someone I had got on really well with, he cut me off telling me that OH wouldn't like it and had warned him off. 
The last time I spoke to him was 14 years ago. 

I keep thinking I'm over reacting 
Then not
Heads a mess

pollyanna_26

You aren't over reacting none of the things you've mentioned are normal behaviour.

It's normal to question your own behaviour and interpretation of things. I did that all the time but it's part of the messing with your head plan by the abuser. It's designed to make you question your own judgement until you stop challenging things and accept their norm. It didn't work for me Melly once I'd sussed out what was happening. It's important not to let it happen to you.

I do worry about your physical health . I know the situation is impacting your MH too but I've noticed you mentioning Migraines recently.If it hasn't already happened the TIAs may return. You weren't very well last year so must be pretty low healthwise.

pollyx

-taff

Maybe have a think about what you would tell your best friend if she was in the same situation.

You;re not responsible for him, he's an adult, he makes his own choices. You've made some choices but feel like, oh it's not so bad, maybe I'm overreacting, maybe things aren't so bad.

Really though, it sounds like he's been sytematically isolating you from the life you see around you.

You're doing something for yourself and you deserve to be able to live a happy life.