I think I know what you're all going to say here but here goes!

mason's_mum

Thanks to everyone for all your comments on here and sharing your experiences - it makes me feel so much better knowing that you have all come out the other side of similar and much worse experiences and most of you are now happy and settled in your relationships.
I'm probably going to leave this thread now, as it just keeps bringing all the horrible feelings back every time I read a new post telling me how I deserve better and that I had a lucky escape. I know I need to move on, and I will, but it'll take time.
I've called our counselling service at work, as this incident was just the straw that broke the camel's back - I've been struggling with work issues for a while and I lost my Dad last year which I don't think I have come to terms with properly either, so I'm probably making way more of a deal out of this than I would have done otherwise. I'm waiting for them to tell me what I'm entitled to in terms of counselling or CBT etc, so hopefully I'll get that kicked off in the near future.

Thanks again for being so supportive. I hope to be able to come back with a happy update sometime in the future!

Meg_x

I've only just read this thread and the OP has probably gone now.
But wanted to ask if he'd blocked her from whatsapp?

She says she can see he's been online..surely if she's been ''ghosted'' he would've blocked her so she couldn't send anymore messages?
Unless of course he likes playing games with her and wants her to see she's being ignored while he chats to others.

mason's_mum

Meg_x wrote: »

I've only just read this thread and the OP has probably gone now.
But wanted to ask if he'd blocked her from whatsapp?

She says she can see he's been online..surely if she's been ''ghosted'' he would've blocked her so she couldn't send anymore messages?
Unless of course he likes playing games with her and wants her to see she's being ignored while he chats to others.

Nope, not blocked from anything - I can see my messages (from last weekend) were delivered but not read, and can still see his picture on WhatsApp, and when he's online. (not last seen, but I could never see that anyway even when it was going well!)
He's not unmatched on Tinder either (although I am trying really hard not to look at either of them - managed only twice today which is a record low!)

Feeling a bit sad tonight as I'm home on my own and finding myself dwelling on things and asking what I did or didn't do to make things go so wrong so quickly - all the things I know you're not supposed to think!
But I said I'd let myself wallow until Monday when it's time to pick myself up, give myself a wake up call and get back to normal life.

Meg_x

Just seems a bit weird he's not blocked you from anywhere.

I've been in a (not exactly the same) situation to you...my advice is..do nothing...if he's not blocked you there's a reason..if you run after him or message him he'll feel in control, and if you do get back together he'll do it again.

Just sit tight, if he wants you he'll be in touch..if he doesn't then nothing you do will change his mind...believe me I know, and I know what you're going through too.

My relationship is longer than yours...over 3 years, but if we fall out I used to be the one to message first...now I don't, I just get on with life and wait for him to get in touch....he always does.

Your ''relationship'' is relatively new..please don't run after him...you'll only regret it..keep your self respect and go out and have fun with friends.

[Deleted User]

I don't know if this will help but I've been ghosted after a 14 year relationship.
Its not that I want him (all my worst suspicions have been confirmed unfortunately), I just couldn't believe someone I cared for could behave like this. I had a dreadful Christmas and then started realising how unhappy I'd been since I've been with him. Now I'm reverting to the happy adventurous, optimistic person I was. I didn't want him to have power over me anymore, certainly not enough to depress me or make me feel worthless. I'm not. He's got the problem, not me.

Basically I am going the long way round to say if he wants to contact you he will. But it does seem like for whatever reason he won't. The way he has gone about this shows he really really doesn't deserve you. You can choose to move on with a smile on your face because you have a good life in front of you and you can make YOURSELF happy.

I do sympathise because I have had a crappy year, so understand how it feels, 'this is all I need' 'why is this happening to me' etc etc. These are part of a negative cycle you don't need. Concentrate on improving things for yourself. Once I made up my mind I wasn't going to allow this to drag me down it improved. It does take work, but worth it. Actively do things that make you happy, it really helps.

I really hope this helps. Glad you can talk about it on here.

Edit - deleted a lot - way TMI lol. Sorry.

tesuhoha

To be very truthful here, if a man is really interested in you then you will always know about it. There is a book and a film called 'He's just not that into you.' or something like that and I think it is harsh but true.

If the man doesn't call he's not shy, repressed or too busy or lost your number (well the last one is unlikely). A man who is interested will contact you no matter how shy or busy. I am not being horrible here, just want to save you time wasted on him. He's not interested. Forget about him.

edwink

I am sorry you are in the situation that you are in. The guys and girls on here have been lovely and offered you a lot of advice which is what is great about this forum.

Someone once said to me and I quote...... If you love someone let them go free and if they come back it's meant to be.

Hope that helps a little.

Edwink x