I think I know what you're all going to say here but here goes!

mason's_mum

pickledonionspaceraider wrote: »

I did *almost* bump in to mine face to face. In a crowded shopping centre I spotted him. He is very noticeable in stature. I hid behind a shoe rack. I was in shock.

How mature. :rotfl::rotfl:

that's hilarious! I like to think I'd do the same!

dancing_star

If you think you'll be in danger of texting him again, change your screensaver to "NO DO NOT" in massive letters.


Worked for me.

SuperPikachu

mason's_mum wrote: »

an interesting note - I don't hear many complaints from men about receiving the same treatment, although I'm sure it does happen. What is it about men that they think it's OK to behave like this? Can we teach our little (and not so little) boys that this is not cool?

I had a few girls do this to me back in the day when I was dating

hazyjo

dancing_star wrote: »

If you think you'll be in danger of texting him again, change your screensaver to "NO DO NOT" in massive letters.


Worked for me.

I used to change their names to something like that in my phone address book lol. I would also write myself 'letters' as to why they were a complete git and why they're out of my life and why it's not a good idea to ring them after a bottle and a half of vino lol.


Shame you contacted him - it's never a good idea and will make them run quicker. Would have been better changing your pic on text/whatsapp/FB to some happy smiling photo, perhaps with a bloke next to you (doesn't matter if it's a brother he wouldn't recognise or someone), and adding 'loving life' or something mysterious. I know it's petty and gameplaying but tbh I'd probably not have met him again anyway but it would give me more satisfaction to blow him out. Who wants some bloke who can't act respectfully towards you or blows hot and cold? (Same goes for women, there are plenty who do it in reverse.)


It's the rejection thing that's making you hurt. I think you know deep down he ain't worth it. Probably more to do with self esteem than the fact you liked him.


Don't waste time on someone who doesn't feel the same way. If he's like this now, how will he be in a relationship a few years from now? This is meant to be the exciting honeymoon stage.

[Deleted User]

mason's_mum wrote: »

I know you're right, but I do think how much further away can I drive him!? we have no mutual friends so he can't share my obsessiveness with anyone who knows me!
I've never been obsessive about anything or anyone before which is why it worries me that this minor thing has got to me so badly. how do you override your own brain?!

If you continue with your obsessive behaviour you could push him to contact the police.

Ghosting is never nice and it is cowardly. It does seem odd that he sent you a message on Friday and then decided to ignore you on Saturday but honestly it says far more about him than it does you. Remind yourself that you've had a lucky escape.

SandC

I had a very brief, nothing really in it, flingy type thing with an old school friend who had got divorced (very quickly!) having been married for over 20 years. He messed me about something rotten but for some weird reason I was sooo into him and couldn't even understand why. Anyway, one time we'd arranged to go out (mentioned before a 10 night holiday of mine for when I got back). I messaged him about it and he said sorry he couldn't do it as he had a work thing on. Fair enough. Except on the night in question he checked in at the thing that we were supposed to be going to!!!!

I texted him saying thanks very much, supposed to be a mate and he said something about the work visitor cancelled so he went after all.

At that point I deleted him off social media and never heard from him or contacted him again. Had to be done. Shame as we were in same year at school so effectively ruined a friendship.

But I actually met someone just weeks after that and am happily in a relationship now.

All I can say is that the communication both ways comes easy when you are both on the same page, it's just difficult timing wise to find that good moment (my man and me had actually met some 6 months previously but timing was off).

Skiddaw1

Lover_of_Lycra wrote: »

If you continue with your obsessive behaviour you could push him to contact the police.

Ghosting is never nice and it is cowardly. It does seem odd that he sent you a message on Friday and then decided to ignore you on Saturday but honestly it says far more about him than it does you. Remind yourself that you've had a lucky escape.

I think that rather than being overly obsessive, it's more that when someone ghosts you, you find yourself constantly wondering what you did (or didn't do) to push them away. I agree that ghosting isn't pleasant. In fact, I think it's classic 'passive-aggressive' behaviour (hence why it has that effect on the victim) so I can understand how the OP feels.



But I absolutely agree- a lucky escape. Bet it isn't the first (or last) time he's done it.

mason's_mum

dancing_star wrote: »

If you think you'll be in danger of texting him again, change your screensaver to "NO DO NOT" in massive letters.


Worked for me.

already changed to "massive T***! can't quite bring myself to delete it just yet!

mason's_mum

Lover_of_Lycra wrote: »

If you continue with your obsessive behaviour you could push him to contact the police.

Ghosting is never nice and it is cowardly. It does seem odd that he sent you a message on Friday and then decided to ignore you on Saturday but honestly it says far more about him than it does you. Remind yourself that you've had a lucky escape.

thanks for your comments, although I'm not sure 2 text messages and one phonecall/voicemail in 6 days constitutes harassment, or is something the police would be interested in, especially as he hasn't even said he doesn't want to speak to me or blocked me or anything like that.

But I'm done with him now, and probably this thread as it's just dragging up all my feelings everytime I read all the nice comments about how I deserve more and that I had a lucky escape!

mason's_mum

SandC wrote: »

But I actually met someone just weeks after that and am happily in a relationship now.

All I can say is that the communication both ways comes easy when you are both on the same page, it's just difficult timing wise to find that good moment (my man and me had actually met some 6 months previously but timing was off).

I'm happy that you are now settled in a relationship after being treated like poo.
Here's hoping that I'll be the same - having been single for 6 years, after trying to be happy being just me for a while and finding myself, hoping someone would come along when I was least expecting it and all that jazz, and now 2-3 years of online dating, and only going on 3 second dates (one of which I was bullied into), and then actually finding someone I thought I liked, and wanted to go on more dates with, only to be ghosted, then I think it's got to be my time soon, I must be due some good luck!