I think I know what you're all going to say here but here goes!

mason's_mum

thanks to all of you for your comments and suggestions.
I'm afraid I cracked and called him from my own phone (without blocking the number) - unsurprisingly he didn't answer and it went to voicemail - stupidly I left one saying that I hoped he was OK as I hadn't heard from him for a while, and if he could give me a call back to let me know what he was thinking that would be great.
No call back.
Now I just have to work out how I let this go without having a reason or explanation as to what changed. it's hard as the rest of my life, job, pets, etc isn't going how I hoped it would at the moment, and this seems to have tipped me over the edge. I'm not sleeping well or eating much and I'm feeling constantly anxious and physically sick and I don't seem to be able to think about anything else.
I'm sure it'll pass but at the moment it seems a pretty big deal to my overloaded brain.

LandyAndy

mason's_mum wrote: »

Swingaloo, we both are busy people, he travels abroad for work for days at a time (I don't want to say too much as it might identify him) so I'm not too worried on that front, we messaged for 2 weeks as I was away with work, then went on a date, he was then away, then another date, then the 10 day trip, then now.
But I won't chase him, I still don't know what's changed but maybe I never will, it all just feels a bit raw at the moment.

Is it Boris Johnson?

mason's_mum

LandyAndy wrote: »

Is it Boris Johnson?

thankfully no, but there are only a handful of people that do the same job, so he would be fairly easily identifiable by someone in the know

Dymphna60

Sorry to hear that OP . When I saw you updating I hoped it was to say he had been in touch .
I am not you so you must decide what to do to make your life better but I wouldn’t go looking for a new romance at the moment but concentrate on getting the other parts of your life into a better place .
Once you are happy again I think you will find that you will be able to find love again.
All the best for the future.

SuperPikachu

mason's_mum wrote: »

thanks to all of you for your comments and suggestions.
I'm afraid I cracked and called him from my own phone (without blocking the number) - unsurprisingly he didn't answer and it went to voicemail - stupidly I left one saying that I hoped he was OK as I hadn't heard from him for a while, and if he could give me a call back to let me know what he was thinking that would be great.
No call back.
Now I just have to work out how I let this go without having a reason or explanation as to what changed. it's hard as the rest of my life, job, pets, etc isn't going how I hoped it would at the moment, and this seems to have tipped me over the edge. I'm not sleeping well or eating much and I'm feeling constantly anxious and physically sick and I don't seem to be able to think about anything else.
I'm sure it'll pass but at the moment it seems a pretty big deal to my overloaded brain.

Well my brutal advice now would be to stop being obsessive over this, shake yourself and get over it, it does not matter that you don't know why they aren't interested - sometimes that is just how it is.

If you dwell on a problem it will consume you and be all you can think of which is stupid cause you have the power to just not do that. And would you rather be depressed feeling sorry for yourself or onto the next adventure and chatting to new people?

Obviously take it slow if you do find somebody to talk to!

mason's_mum

SuperPikachu wrote: »

Well my brutal advice now would be to stop being obsessive over this, shake yourself and get over it, it does not matter that you don't know why they aren't interested - sometimes that is just how it is.

If you dwell on a problem it will consume you and be all you can think of which is stupid cause you have the power to just not do that. And would you rather be depressed feeling sorry for yourself or onto the next adventure and chatting to new people?

Obviously take it slow if you do find somebody to talk to!

thanks - I know that's what I need to do, but actually doing it is hard - when you're lying wide awake at 4am it all seems impossible!

charlie3090

I know its not the same but many years ago I dated someone who was really keen, we got on really well and I thought I had found the one,

after a while we slept together and he just disappeared from my life,
I was so upset, thought something was wrong with me etc,

turns out he seemed to to this as a hobby and then got bored once the challenge was over, Im not saying this is what happened but some people just love the thrill of the chase and if you appear keen they lose interest.

He does not deserve you, as hard as it is he can only affect your life if you let him,love yourself first and the rest will follow,

wishing you well x

mason's_mum

charlie3090 wrote: »

I know its not the same but many years ago I dated someone who was really keen, we got on really well and I thought I had found the one,

after a while we slept together and he just disappeared from my life,
I was so upset, thought something was wrong with me etc,

turns out he seemed to to this as a hobby and then got bored once the challenge was over, Im not saying this is what happened but some people just love the thrill of the chase and if you appear keen they lose interest.

He does not deserve you, as hard as it is he can only affect your life if you let him,love yourself first and the rest will follow,

wishing you well x

thanks Charlie 3090 for sharing, I'm sorry you got treated this way.
We never even got to the point of being physical - we shared some sexy texts but no more than that.

flanker6

SuperPikachu wrote: »

Well my brutal advice now would be to stop being obsessive over this, shake yourself and get over it, it does not matter that you don't know why they aren't interested - sometimes that is just how it is.

^^^ This!
If you don't let this go now, you are in danger of driving him further away and presenting yourself as obsessive - which may jeopardise future relationships.


If he does get back in touch - and he may - then consider it a bonus. You can decide at that point whether you want to bother with someone that ignores your messages for days at a time.

pickledonionspaceraider

mason's_mum wrote: »

thanks pickledonion, I'm sorry you had to go through it too, thankfully I didn't waste that much time and energy here, I expect you were feeling 100 times worse than me right now! at least we're unlikely to bump into each other in everyday life!

I did *almost* bump in to mine face to face. In a crowded shopping centre I spotted him. He is very noticeable in stature. I hid behind a shoe rack. I was in shock.

How mature. :rotfl::rotfl:

I think it is odiously gutless thing to do, to ghost someone. I felt, I would have preferred it if he had messaged and said 'I am just not that in to you'.

After a couple of weeks, I begun to realise I had a narrow escape, I don't want a gutless fanny of a man - who is so entirely emotionally bereft that he cannot say how he feels anyway. !!!!!!.

Before anyone reports the word !!!!!!, he may well have been a professional caber !!!!!!, for all you know haha