Embracing the new family dynamics and looking forward to the future with optimism

beanielou

Sewing masks
Hopefully not at A & E!!

Savvy_sewing

Thought I had replied but I cannot see it.
the mystery of the gadgets!
 Yes I made masks yesterday.
 I managed 27.
I am much slower than I had hoped.
nearly 6 weeks since my first fall and my hand is not right.
 I am going to have to rest it and me today. Despite masses of work coming in, I have decided I cannot do it and need a day off.
 I am tired as I have to do the children all the time, and little man gets me up far too much.
on the home front things are ticking along.
Twin2 has jumped on a train and come up this way. She is having issues with her BF and has decided to stay with one of her friends. ( unfortunately the girls from the family from hell!!).  She has decided that she wants to come home. 

I have mixed feelings about what her idea of home is. Also how her suddenly moving across the country is going to be dealt with with the current situation.
 I would have advised her to stay at home but she didn't tell me until she arrived up here.

Biggests Hubby has announced that he is going to move out. He doesn't want her to work , he wants her to be a little wife at home. That is not Biggest and never has been. Things have been patchy for years, and Dgd is now questioning her sexuality.
 I feel there is more going on in my life than a tv soap. !
My head is reeling with it all this week.

thorsoak

Oh dear - it never rains but it pours - but all of these things happening now is not to be surprised at.   You just have to remember the mantra "not my circus, not my monkeys" .....

KxMx

Sorry to read your latest post. I'm glad you are having a much needed rest day. 

Remember your resources are not unlimited and the focus should be on you & your dependents (the three children). 

While I'm sure you'll have an ear for biggest & twin 2 they have others to call on if needed, siblings, dad, friends etc.

Would a daytime nap while boys are at nursery etc help with the fatigue? 

Savvy_sewing

I am going to have to try to sleep on those days.!
 I had thought we had cracked it last week when he slept through the night but it didn't last.
 I agree I must remember that it's not my monkey etc. 

But it does affect me because it is in my head.
 I am going to have to be resilient aren't I?
I am still not dressed this morning.
I am in a can't be bothered mode.

tooldle

Is it worth considering skewing your day somewhat. By that i mean when the youngest wakes up, get up and start the day. Then do the the opposite at the other end of the day, i.e. go to bed earlier than you normally would. You can crack on a get things done around the house, before they go off to school. I still do this now, even though my daughter is an adult. I’m up for 6am, and am usually at my desk by 7.15am ready to start work, having walked the dog, put the washing on, cleaned the kitchen etc. Who knows the extra bit of active time might also have the desired affect on the youngest and cause him to start sleeping later.

hb2

Savvy, I'm sorry that even more carp seems to be landing on you! whilst it is absolutely normal to worry about your offspring, no matter how old they are, you really cannot be all things to all people. Your reserves are almost depleted as it is and, as has been said, the children in your care have to be your main concern at the moment.

You won't be able to care for anyone else unless you put your own oxygen mask on first - so that means sleeping whenever you can and rationing your energy for the things that matter (((hugs)))

pollyanna_26

Savvy_sewing said:

Thought I had replied but I cannot see it.
the mystery of the gadgets!
 Yes I made masks yesterday.
 I managed 27.
I am much slower than I had hoped.
nearly 6 weeks since my first fall and my hand is not right.
 I am going to have to rest it and me today. Despite masses of work coming in, I have decided I cannot do it and need a day off.
 I am tired as I have to do the children all the time, and little man gets me up far too much.
on the home front things are ticking along.
Twin2 has jumped on a train and come up this way. She is having issues with her BF and has decided to stay with one of her friends. ( unfortunately the girls from the family from hell!!).  She has decided that she wants to come home. 

I have mixed feelings about what her idea of home is. Also how her suddenly moving across the country is going to be dealt with with the current situation.
 I would have advised her to stay at home but she didn't tell me until she arrived up here.

Biggests Hubby has announced that he is going to move out. He doesn't want her to work , he wants her to be a little wife at home. That is not Biggest and never has been. Things have been patchy for years, and Dgd is now questioning her sexuality.
 I feel there is more going on in my life than a tv soap. !
My head is reeling with it all this week.

DGD Very common when youngsters are confused to question sexuality. My youngest did that. They're lookinf for an answer to the confusion they're feeling. Whether she's right or wrong it isn't the end of the world.

Biggest You can lend a listening ear. It's up to her and her oh to decide their future.

Twin2 You need to make clear she does not come to visit any family especailly your mum. I don't agree with the easing of the lockdown. I think we can expect another spike.

Best thing I can suggest is she and DS communicate ( not face to face) maybe the best idea is joining forces to find somewhere to live. He stayed with her in the past. She needs to get away from the family from hell but that is not your problem to sort.

You mentioned in your prevoius post I've just read quickly, that you are doing everything for the children. As soon as allowed DS needs to be out. Did he ever finish the course he was doing at the beginning od the year to enable him to seek other roles which may include live in accommation?

I've been doing scrubs and bags but if you noticed my reply to your pm we found another route for top PPE including masks and visors. I know not everyone has present and former Premiership football players and managers living nearby who step up and source and fund the necessary items but worth looking around the area for any help possible.

I know you have many orders but see if you can, find help to finish your current paid orders. If other sewers can finish the work getting the fee it will help. I honestly hope you will try to this. Sewing is your life but youu are damaging your hand and health at the moment. Don't take on any more work at the moment. You aren't making much on the masks. Let yourself heal please.

My not so clever idea of staying logged in failed again when I found myself needing to sign in once more. It must be time limited . I've spent the last few days looking everywhere for my password book. Always kept in the same place bit not there.

Same has happened with my diary a couple of times . I swear there are Gremlins around.

Still haven't found the book but after reading your posts managed to sign in. Auto pilot I think!

Take care all and lock your doors Ss. You don't need Twin2 turning up.

pollyx

pollyanna_26

Just realised it may not be DGD living with you but Biggests eldest you were referring to. I'm so used to talking about the one living with you I didn't take into account the others!

Re Twin2 whatever her idea of home is it cannont be under your roof. You're already overcrowded as it is. Keep an eye out in case DS tries to sneak her into his temporary sleeping quarters on the drive.

pollyx

LadyHarris

Put yourself first without you all 3 children are at risk if it means you not taking paid sewing work and just doing what you can and feel like doing and then when it is completed putting it up for sale this would seem a much better way of working for you right now. As for biggest if she doesn't want to be a housewife that's fine but surely they discussed their expectations before they got married anyway she is an adult and needs to make the right decisions for her and her children which I am sure she will but you need to make it clear child care is probably not an option right now but a cuppa ,biscuit and listening ear is . DS needs to be given notice to leave  with a firm date estate agents are open and the market is reopening he is fit and well enough to go out and not return for the night he is fit enough to find work there is plenty of farm work with accommodation as part of the job ideal for him and you . As for twin 2 you do not need her bringing trouble to your door via the family from hell . Yes I know its easy for me to sit here and suggest what to do but i hope you will take my suggestions with the spirit with which they are written Stay safe and well