Embracing the new family dynamics and looking forward to the future with optimism

Savvy_sewing

I have cried more than I would like to admit today.
 I am frustrated with the boys arguing, violence and competition between them.
the noise today has given me a splitting headache and they have pushed every button too many times today. They are arguing even now.
 I want to walk out the door and not come back! Obviously I can't. 

I tried going up the garden earlier and they just followed me and argued about who was sitting on the seat first. It's just hell today.
Not had a sleepover with Dad for a couple of weeks.
saw the other family yesterday. 

Dgd was there for a few hours and all seemed fine. Drop off was on time and all seemed ok.
Today is just a bad day and Dgs2 just won't stop screaming. 

I think even if I was younger or their Mum I would be at the end of the tether today.
reminds me of a really bad day with the twins and my Dad coming to help because I was exhausted.
except I don't have any one to come and help.

Savvy_sewing

Tomorrow is another day!

hb2

I'm sorry that today has been so hard, you do sound exhausted I hope that tomorrow is considerably better.

pollyanna_26

As you say Ss even if you were younger or their birth mum it wouldn't make a difference.There were many times years ago when I could have written something similar when youngest was a lot younger and hadn't yet received the proper diagnosis and appropriate counselling.

Weeping with exhaustion and frustration was familiar to me. I'm not sure if dgs2 mimics his older brothers behaviour at times but if so it makes things so much harder for you..

There have been many times when dgs2 does seem to be settling in and adapting but only you know if thet's so.

Are you receiving clear feedback and support from breakfast club, school etc?

Although you were the twins mum services failed you and them many times.

It sounds as though you need more support with dgs1. You have barely any respite at the moment.

Tomorrow is indeed another day I hope it is a good one for you all.

pollyx

Savvy_sewing

Not really got respite.
in the few hours they were with the other family I had to go to Mum, get her shopping and take it back, go back for Dgd as she stayed for 2 hours with the horses. Take her home, make calls for the wedding dress to be collected rather than fitted, alter a skirt and some other things. Stop to be in the house for 6 for them coming home.  

Had an unsettling night with weird busy demanding dreams inbetween lying awake for ages and up before 7 wuu I th them arguing about being able to come into my bed and who was where! So they have been at it for 13 hours.
 I came to bed with them still causing issues because I would easily have walked out the door otherwise!

Thankfully there is school tomorrow as no temperatures etc.  Dgd will try to swing it, DGs1, has breakfast club at 7.45 am 
dgs2 is at home all day. DS is supposed to be coming to dismantle the bunkbeds ready for DGDs cabin bed to go in the boys room, so she is going to have to sleep on the sofa tomorrow night and before the boys get to bed we will have to get all her stuff packed up out of their reach. I am hoping that the paint will come tomorrow so we can at least cover the floral patchwork wallpaper that was when the room was my sewing room!
 I don't have the time to steam off the paper etc. It will have to be a quick fix. 

It's finally gone quiet so I can try to sleep before they decide to wake up. Dont worry, I will feel better tomorrow. 

beanielou

I really really hope you do feel better tomorrow.
I just so wish that ypu had just someone to give you a hand now & then. 

Savvy_sewing

DS is supposed to be coming to help with the bedroom swap tomorrow. 

Fingers crossed.
 I would just like one room finished so I can move on to the next etc. Nothing is ever finished in my house. 

beanielou

Without sounding rude I meant someone that you could depend on.

onwards&upwards

Still just getting through one day at a time.  Each good day you think you can do this till they grow up, but can you, really?  That's a very long time. 

Is just about surviving and getting through each day the best that these three children can hope for?  Is that all they deserve?

Savvy_sewing

onwards&upwards said:

Still just getting through one day at a time.  Each good day you think you can do this till they grow up, but can you, really?  That's a very long time. 

Is just about surviving and getting through each day the best that these three children can hope for?  Is that all they deserve?

No it's not 
that's why I am searching for the answers.
Wands don't wave magically and everything comes up roses.
Their life is a whole lot better than it was.
It is mostly better than when they first arrived.
 I don't have bad days every day.
Fobing them off elsewhere is not necessarily going to improve their life.
working at it might just.
once the powers that be actually follow through with their plans things might be better.
dealing with a child with traumatic stress disorder will not be easy for anyone.