Embracing the new family dynamics and looking forward to the future with optimism

Savvy_sewing

thorsoak said:

But when you do not know what is being said to them, when they are with other aunty and nanny, when you do not know what they are allowed to do - and what they are not allowed to do - it raises uncertainties.    Little ones' brain processes can sometimes throw up random memories at odd times - at odd triggers. 

That's what the conversation this morning was leaning towards. The worry is that Mum is about too much with them.

Savvy_sewing

Poly I think there is a lot of things wrong and anything can trigger him.
tonight he threw a plastic sphere at the wall from the top bunk because I told him it was lights out, and all the soft toys, the pillows and the books. If he could have lifted the duvet off and chucked that he would have. Yet he had been good all day. I just told him that it was his stuff he was throwing and it didn't bother me. I said I love him and Goodnight and when he was about to hit himself I said, why don't you just hit yourself and hurt yourself then as you like doing that? And he stopped, lay down and I haven't heard a peep.  It's not exactly the the response I would normally have given but it stopped him in his tracks. 

It's all fine and quiet now, and I think I can safely go to bed. Although I didn't do anymore of the name tapes. There is always tomorrow. 

I hope your sciatica soon goes. Touch wood I haven't had a bout since end of last year. 

Actually at the moment I am feeling much better then I have in a while, apart from my hand. That's probably what a good night sleep does.
talking of sleep that's where I am heading now.
Part 2 of the call with the adoption team is tomorrow. 

Let's hope that we get past just the history which was well documented and get this wee lad help that will be sooner rather than later. 

beanielou

Really really hope that you get the help you need really soon.
polly~~hope your sciatica improves really soon.

gizmo111

Cairn said:

I am not a social worker. 
I am .......

However, I know of a family placement that was refused as carer was assumed to not be able to control level of access to certain individuals. 
Always one of the major concerns in family placements.........its very hard when the only other option is to sever all ties with the birth family

This is not a placement - SS has been given overriding PR of the 3 children in her care - through a Special Guardianship Order

It’s hard on you because you will lose respite, but it’s quite possible that social services may decide that placement with you will be halted if they are not happy with access to other family/DS because of the impact on the children. 
They would need to take emergency measures or go to court and argue their case......their case less than a year ago was permanency for the children with SS on a SGO

I’m surprised you have no opinion of other gran and auntie are they capable of looking after the boys properly? 

I’m very sorry that you have all this on your plate. As your neighbour said, what a life your DS/kids have left you 😢

Above commented in bold.

Savvy_sewing

Once they settled we actually had a full night's sleep. It was about 6.40 when I heard them and a few minutes later when dgs 1came in to the bedroom. His first words were he wanted a gadget, and mine was sorry don't know where they are. ( I put them away when they were out). He started crying and throwing my cushions around. So I just said that it won't make any difference as I don't change my mind, got up and came down stairs with side track of brioche. So he went straight for the tv with YouTube and was annoyed that he is not allowed YouTube because yesterday he kept going on sites that are not suitable. So the controller has "gone ".
that meant all that was in his clutches were launched, starting with the toys and then the cushions. So I said ok, let me help you, and I put the rest of the cushions on the floor. .. He stopped, gawped at me, and was offered his brioche and drink and sat in the middle of the cushions and ate it as calmly and quietly as anything.
Next was when I refused it again a few minutes ago ( as I started to write this,) He was pulling the clothes that I had ready for them and said he was going to hit me on the head with what was in his hands, -his brothers jeans, so I gently took them undid the button and put them on my head and said did they suit me?
He laughed, pulled them down over my eyes, so I played a little blinds man buff with him, feeling who he was, and saying it can't be (Dgs2), because he has curly hair?, let me tickle you, ah it's (Dgs1).
Back to giggles. 

Distraction with a little humour seems to be the way to go today then.

essex123456

kids youtube  - no unsuitable sites

Savvy_sewing

essex123456 said:

kids youtube  - no unsuitable sites

He just swaps it over.
Hence removal of the gadgets and if he goes on the TV one I can see it at all times so he can't get away with Chang it 

beanielou

Your distraction techniques are awesome 👏 

thorsoak

Distraction is the name of the game - and what works one time might not work the next - you just have to play along with them xxx

Savvy_sewing

thorsoak said:

Distraction is the name of the game - and what works one time might not work the next - you just have to play along with them xxx

I realise that it may only work for a short while but I am greatful for anything I can get.