Embracing the new family dynamics and looking forward to the future with optimism

Savvy_sewing

I am off to bed, didn't realise the time watching Escape to the chateau make do and mend. Getting inspired.
Today was a good day considering everything.

gizmo111

thorsoak said:

Sorry gizmo - I stand corrected.   I know that the county council has been castigated about the way that they have allowed the Social Services dept to run (or run down).

Pretty much the same nationwide......and the strains on services through COVID in adults, children and mental health have been horrendous .  

Savvy_sewing

gizmo111 said:

thorsoak said:

Sorry gizmo - I stand corrected.   I know that the county council has been castigated about the way that they have allowed the Social Services dept to run (or run down).

Pretty much the same nationwide......and the strains on services through COVID in adults, children and mental health have been horrendous .  

I dread to think. 

The boys are up!
However Dgs2 did not wake up in the night for once. So apart from me waking for the loo, I got a good night sleep.
A few more like that would be wonderful. 

(But I won't hold my breath.)

Savvy_sewing

Dgs 1 is having a bad day!
He has punched, kicked, thrown, head banged, door slammed and bedroom wrecked, sitting room trashed, bathroom trashed.... 

And I breathe deeply.
 There doesn't seem to be any reason for it escalating today, but it has been like a series of tsunami one after the other. Just when you think the calm has settled he is off again!

thorsoak

Hmmm.......check what routine DS & GF instigated yesterday morning - how different was it to yours today? xxxx

Savvy_sewing

thorsoak said:

Hmmm.......check what routine DS & GF instigated yesterday morning - how different was it to yours today? xxxx

He was home by 11 yesterday and was relatively good. Minor things only.
He went to bed just after 8 I think it was.
 I doubt anything happened 24 hours back would trigger him now. His triggers are pretty instant.
When he's told he can't have a biscuit or crisps at 9am. That he has to get dressed. That he can't snatch a toy from his brother. That he should move when his brother is laughing at him and winding him up.
when he is warned that tech time is coming to an end, or that it is not tech time yet.
This is the normal trigger points.
Today it was plenty of the above. When he was asked to finish his cereal he upended it over the table and the floor.
then everything follows the same pattern and will do probably all day.
Then his brother is target, Dgd, and me.
He's been there, done that today.

pollyanna_26

I'm back on a new laptop and will need to catch up from June! Just read your last few posts and I think Thorsoak may be on the right track re DGS1 the slightest change for someone on the spectrum can cause meltdown. Even if he seems ok after being with dad it can be too much when you're trying to keep things calm and establish a routine and guidelines. I have wondered if you ever watched any of The A Word Series. I don't know if it's still free on Iplayer but the BBC were streaming all three series so far and although I'd watched them when first shown on the bbc I rewatched them back to back . It's the clearest thing I've ever seen about children with Autism and how their mindset struggles with things we see as the norm. It shows an extended family and includes his parents breakup and his confusion . If you haven't watched it I think it may help you to do so.

As I said I need to catch up. I hope all here are well and plodding on as Beanie would say.

pollyx

hb2

Welcome home Polly!

Savvy_sewing

Still plodding.
 I am risking a bath while Dgd is watching war horse, Dgs2 fell asleep and is flat out, so he won't be wanting bed, but as Dgs1 has been on it all day I decided to let it go. Dgs1 is running in and out of the house and garden and been in the trampoline. Beeb beeb neighbours shouted at him For looking over the fence. Yesterday it was because they were screaming. He needs to get a life, because I cannot muzzle them or keep them in the house all day everyday.
Twin1 rang in a state. Problems with the "in-laws" shouting at her and calling her unfit mum as the 4 year old got into the garden and touched the wet paint on the van while she was dealing with the baby. Told her to get out and that she can't take her children. She was hysterical.
 I told her I would go and get her but that she needed to calm down, have a cup of tea and then think logically about it. 

The family can be rather insensitive and dense are prone to arguements and not my favourite people, but she has lived there 5 years waiting on the housing list. She should never have given up her flat here to go down there but they were adamnant. I don't think I would be able to live in their house for 5 years. I don't think I would last 5 hours.
She has calmed down and doesn't need immediate rescue, but I can see that it is breaking down and they need a home of their own now.
 I have suggested that she comes for a holiday and to see Dgd, who wants to see her Mum but not the bFs parents who she says scares her with their shouting.
my house is not the only mad house then.

sarahevie1

That's a shame for Twin1. I do think it's not ideal she's so far away as the visits with DGD do seem very infrequent to an observer; maybe she could relocate? We're all guilty of this as life is hectic; but you don't appear to physically see the Twins very often and geography I'm sure plays a part. It'd be something to consider if she wanted to, but may bring other problems. That sounds more negative than I intended but I hope you get the jist. 
 In her shoes I'd be grateful for a roof over my head, and that the set up (however challenging) has enabled her to keep her youngest children.