Embracing the new family dynamics and looking forward to the future with optimism

pollyanna_26

Hope you find the glasses and can get the children settled and head for bed yourself.


When I opened the curtains this morning it was thick freezing fog and very cold. Fog is back again tonight so I hope the weather is better in your neck of the woods.


Sleep tight

pollyx

beanielou

I think with a DRO the person owing the money has to pay a contribution?

NeilCr

beanielou wrote: »

I think with a DRO the person owing the money has to pay a contribution?

https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/debt-and-money/debt-solutions/debt-relief-orders/debt-relief-orders-explained/debt-relief-orders-what-you-need-to-know/

Again

I don't think/know that a DRO is a possibility without all the information

My underlying point is that, until a professional debt adviser has assessed the situation, we shouldn't (and I include myself here!), be suggesting a specific debt solution for the son

As others have said, ss, there comes a time when your son has to face the "debt music" by himself. It's not helping you or him to keep bailing him out. I know that sounds harsh but this all needs to be away from you when you strike out with the three kids by yourself (with the appropriate support of course!)

beanielou

NeilCr wrote: »

https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/debt-and-money/debt-solutions/debt-relief-orders/debt-relief-orders-explained/debt-relief-orders-what-you-need-to-know/

Again

I don't think/know that a DRO is a possibility without all the information

My underlying point is that, until a professional debt adviser has assessed the situation, we shouldn't (and I include myself here!), be suggesting a specific debt solution for the son

As others have said, ss, there comes a time when your son has to face the "debt music" by himself. It's not helping you or him to keep bailing him out. I know that sounds harsh but this all needs to be away from you when you strike out with the three kids by yourself (with the appropriate support of course!)

Yes, I agree has to be a qualified debt adviser.
Long time since I did debt advice & I am not up to date.

NeilCr

beanielou wrote: »

Yes, I agree has to be a qualified debt adviser.
Long time since I did debt advice & I am not up to date.

Beanielou

Sorry. Reading my post again it comes across as rather terse. Not my intention at all. My apologies

:beer::beer::beer:

I just worry that once we start bandying stuff around there is a danger it can go wrong. I've seen it before

You are absolutely right. He needs to see a debt advisor

beanielou

NeilCr wrote: »

Beanielou

Sorry. Reading my post again it comes across as rather terse. Not my intention at all. My apologies

:beer::beer::beer:

I just worry that once we start bandying stuff around there is a danger it can go wrong. I've seen it before

You are absolutely right. He needs to see a debt advisor

Not at all

Savvy_Sue

pollyanna_26 wrote: »

Neil Firefox is blocking your reply to my pm. Never happened with my Dell . I'm still getting used to this laptop so will see if dd can solve that issue. I'm not very techie.

pollyanna, is there a bar at the top of the Firefox screen which indicates that there is a block? If you click or right click on it, you'll probably have an option to allow this pm to be shown.

For your neighbour, it may sometimes be possible to make calls on her behalf, if you are willing. You've already done the 'making the initial call and passing the phone over' thing, which may sometimes be all that is needed, but equally sometimes with my (too deaf to use the phone) mum I would make the call, pass the receiver to her to confirm it was her and she was happy for me to speak (I'd be listening in and mouthing away at her!), and then she'd pass the receiver back to me and I would do the talking for her.

Also, just for the record, here is a list of this site's 'recommended' organisations to help with debt problems. I think it's worth referring to it, because SS's son and pollyanna's neighbour may find it easier to engage with one rather than another. For example, I believe that CAP (who are listed at the top of the 'best of the rest') do home visits in at least some areas, rather than having to make an appointment and go somewhere, hopefully with all the paperwork sorted out - just the thought of sorting out the paperwork, making an appointment and heading out of the door may be too daunting. Also worth noting that everyone is likely to be oversubscribed right now, but they may be running waiting lists which it would be worth getting on sooner rather than later.

Savvy_sewing

I am off to bed.
My glasses have disappeared. Probably with the help of a small child, but at least I have found my old ones now.
Started to sort out my accounts on the laptop, had to borrow a wire from DS's as mine doesn't seem to want to work. But not been used in a while so it decided to install updates, I managed some accounts though.
DS is home from work nice and early and was able to help with tea and bath time tonight.

NeilCr

Polly

I wouldn't necessarily recommend a DRO either. It's just one of the alternatives out there. As I am not a trained debt advisor (just a generalist) I would hesitate to post anything other than general thoughts on debt. Really - your neighbour and ss's son should be engaging with a debt advisor

The three main ones - the two I have mentioned and Stepchange are in the link referred to by Savvy Sue. They are the ones that I deal with and I have no experience of the others (which doesn't mean anything than I haven't encountered them)

From ss's post, though, it would appear that she is dealing with her son's debts - the ones she is aware of, at least

Savvy_sewing

Morning.
It doesn't seam to matter what time I put Dgs2 to bed he is awake by 5.30am
This morning he has managed to wake up dgs1, who just opens the stairgates and let's Dgs2 out of the room, both headed straight into my room for google and my phone, and when I have said nope, not happening back in your room I had two of them screaming at me, and dgs1 started throwing my things around. Erm not happening. Steered back into there room and told to play in there. No gadgets. There is a old video tv in there, which currently is not plugged in, which he decided to punch. So we started the morning with complete meltdown.
Funnily (not), DS didn't bother/didn't wake up, to come and see what the commotion was.
The boys are playing in the room now, I am listening, but I am not going to give them access to the gadgets as a daily routine. Not on my watch.