Buffy takes it 6 months at a time

the_end_of_the_rainbow

Long time lurker.  Just wanted to express how sorry I am to hear your news.  Please take care of yourself xx

greenbee

Sorry to hear your news. 
Re. how you're feeling, I saw a presentation recently by Anders Hansen - he's a Swedish psychiatrist who has worked on drug-free treatment for depression, in particularly exercise. You can get his book https://www.amazon.co.uk/Real-Happy-Pill-Power-Moving/dp/151072298X/ which might help. There's also a TEDx talk https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a9p3Z7L0f0U

Honeysucklelou2

So sorry to read your news Buffy.  Have you let work know that you are dealing with  the various official channels?  Thinking of you...

crazy_cat_lady

Lots of Love Buffy, and what an awful situation for you to be in at the moment. Look after yourself and you know where I am if you need someone to talk to

in_need_of_direction

We are here but you need support from a professional to get you through this.  Please contact your gp or self refer for counselling and take care of you

Buffythedebtslayer

I am still here. It has been a bizarre and surreal week. 
I am so tired. Having an easy morning, off out shopping in a minute. It is just surreal police, coroners. all of it. Need to get a shift on as also have an IKEA delivery coming. 

thanks everyone XXXX 

badmemory

Delurking to say how sorry I am to hear what happened.  You really must find someone you can talk to about it.  I'm sure you don't want to burden your Mum, but have you considered talking to Samaritans or if you have a self referral team set up where you live try them, I found ours very good some years ago when I needed help.  I hope that you will see it as some consolation that YOU did something.

Buffythedebtslayer

Thank you badmemory XX 
It is ok. I mean it isn't. I can't believe it. Not really. I did the shopping without complaining today and then just came home, ate and went to sleep. I am so singular and self reliant and frankly stubborn that I don't know really, I am getting through it. Mum keeps talking about her. But I do feel peace. I do feel she understood she was loved but that ultimately it wasn't enough. It is as awfully simple as that. Hollows you out thinking about it really. Grief will come but not yet. 
In other news the rabbits had to move indoors due to the weather but this time because I know it isn't permanent I have set them up in small pens. I have about a five foot long by one foot wide space in my room to walk in so that will have to be sorted. I am in desperate need of a desk as writing is my therapy and currently I can't do that. my new table came today so am optimistic I  figure something out........
Need to check the finances. I may or may not have ordered 36 Diam bars from Amazon. Not sure what that says about my mental state  

badmemory

Buffythedebtslayer I may or may not have ordered 36 Diam bars from Amazon. Not sure what that says about my mental state  

It says you may (or probably may definitely not) need chocolate.  Sometimes we just do & to h*** with what we are supposed to do.  Have you ever seen Pretty Woman?  My favorite quote "take care of you".  If you don't take care of you then you can't take care of anyone else.  You have a Mum there (& I'm not sure who takes care of who there) & too many pets to count, that rely on you.  You must look after you.  Remember the inflight instructions about putting your face mask on before helping other people - it applies to real life too.

Sun_Addict

I think at times like these you have to do whatever it takes to get through.  When Mr SA was so poorly and I was in a state of permanent shock I lived on Maltesers, black coffee and red wine and not a lot else. I know you'll remember that time Buffy as you were a fantastic support to me on this forum. Every day seemed to bring more bad news. You really do need to take care of yourself in the midst of everything. Are you on half term this week - hopefully if you are you'll have some time to relax a bit xx