Buffy takes it 6 months at a time

in_need_of_direction

Do you actually need all the furniture? Sometimes it’s better just to take a financial hit than give yourself stress

Buffythedebtslayer

in_need_of_direction wrote: »

Do you actually need all the furniture? Sometimes it’s better just to take a financial hit than give yourself stress

Well originally we were getting rid of a large piece downstairs and I had done all my moving around based on that and was buying one thing (for the fish tank to go on, which I am attempting to cancel) but now Mum wants to keep everything downstairs, which, because of what we are moving around the fish tank needs to come upstairs, my room is in total disarray and I forgot the size of my new chest of drawers which I hadn't put up yet. I thought it would fit under the new table I bought but it won't. But I have a vague plan.... Annoying as without the fish tank everything would fit reasonably well.

The room really need painting and I don't want the big tank in there if I am honest. Too cramped. any how. Best get on with something. I think Mum is getting more and more upset with the state of the house. As am I.

XXX

Buffythedebtslayer

Yesterday was a funny day. Ended up having a very deep and serious conversation with Mum. Which was good but exhausting. I did some tidying and sorting.

Today I checked the money situation, it is pretty good. Bit scary re cancelling the furniture as I think I might have a fight on my hands re getting the money back. But we shall see. have to ring them tomorrow.

Doctors again on Wednesday.

Sun_Addict

Hope you get your money back without too much hassle. Also hope your appointment at the docs goes well xx

Buffythedebtslayer

I didn't have time to ring them today. Horrendous day in terms of how I was feeling. I know I am not doing a good job. I am so so sad. And disappointed. Even tho my lovely new boy rabbit seems to have come through his op ok and I am thankful for my great vets I can't stop being near to tears. And sadly aside from here there is no one I can tell. My friends are wonderful but it is the same sadness (D!ckhead, work, family) and there isn't much I can do to fix it right now so I don't like to say and if I do I inevitably make a joke or ask them how they are so no one really knows how terrible I feel. Plus they all have pretty serious !!!! going on. It is hard.

Unfortunately Mum is watching Call the (bloody) Midwife which always depresses me.

Doctors tomorrow. he asked before if I wanted to be signed off. I said no. Hence the repeat appointment.

I just have so much to do, I just keep skimming the surface of everything. Not getting any where. Tho I did have to go to the shed tonight and it does look a million times better.

any how moved on to Silent Witness now. Much better.

XXX

beanielou

Hope you get on ok at the doctors. Xxx

beanielou

How did you get on at the Dr Buffy? xx

Buffythedebtslayer

beanielou wrote: »

How did you get on at the Dr Buffy? xx

I had to reschedule. Guilt is an awful thing. couldn't miss the next two days and was afraid they would sign me off. Friday instead. My friend burst into tears at work today. It is just getting ridiculous and dangerous. On one level I suppose I can cope I just don't want to. But equally I know I am not doing my job well and I am not sure a day were I randomly lose my rag and can hear my heart thumping in my head counts as coping.

I just know that literally about 6 other people feel the same way so why should I be the one signed off?

And then I think my life is really crap sometimes and the idea of a day OFF is like nectar. And I have done my time and slogged my guts out and I am exhausted. There is a BUPA advert at the moment and it is exactly how I feel.

I feel as flat as a pancake.
xx

beanielou

At the end of the day Buffster it is not about how other people deal with things & cope~~it's about YOU & what's best for you xx

Honeysucklelou2

Buffy, I came across a poster at work advertising an education support charity. It's educationsupport.org.uk. Last year was the worst academic year of my career, had I known the support site existed, I may well have used it. Maybe it might be of use to your colleagues, if not you?

Thinking of you...