Buffy takes it 6 months at a time

Buffythedebtslayer

the thing is today is the first day since we found out that I haven't "Had" to do anything. no work, no shopping, no visiting, no awful phone calls to make, not expecting any calls, it is a Sunday, so quiet and it won't stop raining. Am going out for a drink tonight which is good. I messaged my friends that I was feeling sad. But just got a text saying yes the rain was really bad. I know no one knows what to say. I just feel so sad today. Like I can't do anything. Not that I don't want to but that I might break if I tried. 
I had a nice breakfast. I have made a phone call for Mum and set up a donation to the donkey sanctuary cos the advert was so sad. 
I wish I could be kind to myself but the house is a tip. ugh. 

Sun_Addict

I don't think there's a lot anyone can say at times like this which is why most people say nothing at all.  A hug can mean a lot more than a thousand words. A few years ago someone at work died very suddenly aged just 29.  He left work early saying he felt a bit off and he was found dead the next day, he'd just passed away in his sleep.  It was such a shock, he was a very popular colleague.  I'll never forget walking into work the next day and seeing everyone in tears. In his memory we sponsored a horse at a sanctuary close to his heart. It's going to feel raw for you for quite some time it's such a sad time.

I hope you manage to get out tonight and enjoy a drink with your friends.  Please take care xx

Buffythedebtslayer

29. My God. That is terrible. So young. 
my old boss, her mum called her and said she didn't feel well and my boss said she would go round in the morning, but when she got there it was too late. It destroyed my boss. Awful time for her. 
As yet I won't allow myself to think too much about it all. Had the most awful awful dream last night, don't want to nap in case I dream again. 
Today everything seems wet, cold and sad. 
Even watching Harry Potter isn't perking me up. 
Might nap. 
XX

crazy_cat_lady

Buffy - I know that this is easy for me to say, but it's absolutely ok to be feeling the way that you do. You've had a horrible and difficult time that would affect anyone. Of course you're sad, and of course everything seems pointless and little in the world when you're going through something so big. It's crass to say it, but time really is the only healer. Time, talking and allowing yourself to feel sad - but not guilty. I can't say it as well as SA but everything she says is completely true. Be kind to yourself - no guilt, no giving yourself a hard time. Go out and have a few drinks tonight and enjoy some company with your friends It's ok to just feel how you feel at the moment.

Buffythedebtslayer

thank you CCL. 
I have tried to write this post twice and deleted it. phoned the coroner and burst into tears. Phoned the policeman dealing with the case and will more than likely have to ID my friend. I am still pretty much reeling from it all. So horrible. So so horrible. 
so yeah. sunshine and rainbows here. XX 

Big love XX 

beanielou

Blimey.
That is grim Buffster xxx

Buffythedebtslayer

It is a bit, one my best mates has offered to come with me, which I love her for. It is all dependent on when the nice policeman can come with me. He has to be there. 

I went out to the vets. and a DIY store. felt a bit better. X

badmemory

I think Beanielou's "keep plodding" is particularly apt here.  Just keep putting one foot in front of the other to deal with what must be an awful situation.

Buffythedebtslayer

Am watching DIY SOS with tears in my eyes. 
Had a decent day today. Lunch with friends. 
I am a bit freaked by the state of the house. But that is tomorrow's problem. 
XX 

Buffythedebtslayer

Today was a very bad day. I won't get into here. I have realised since my friend died that she has left a little internet legacy - it is lovely to be fair, she was very kind and very funny, loved David Tenant. I don't want to write down what happened today for all time. 
But it wasn't good. 
Made some progress on the shed front. found some stuff to sell. It is only small progress. but it is there. 
I need to check the bank...........XX