Buffy takes it 6 months at a time

Honeysucklelou2

That’s why I’m feeling so meh today! 

Hope you get chance to get out for your walk.

Buffythedebtslayer

Yep the Meh/Poo day is in full swing! 
Made myself some toast, Mum too,  I did empty the dishwasher and sorted another cupboard, have a pile of out of date food, mostly instant dried stuff that if we ate it I would keep as it probably ok but since we clearly don't I am binning it. Tip tomorrow I think, must get dressed for the walk and then come back to the kitchen. I can only do the food cupboards as mum gets upset if  I start "fiddling with equipment" so it won't take too long and then it is clean out animals and cook dinner. 
Best get on.........XXXX 

Four_Seasons

Have a lovely walk x

Buffythedebtslayer

I did. My friend makes me walk for AGES. Am knackered! We talked a lot and I had some thinks. 
Have started dinner, kitchen is semi done, just debating how to sneak the rubbish out.. There is a fair bit and I don't think it will fit in the bin... as in the bin outside....hmmm. 
I have decided to spend this week sorting out the house and making it so the house functions for us both. I actually got excited about moving furniture. 
We only have 3 weeks left till I go back to work and I need to make it easy for either Mum to be here alone or for carers to come in and find stuff etc. 
Also and I know I shouldn't say it but say in wildest dreams things with D head work out to "something" I need to be ready for what comes next, AND if it doesn't work out (which is more likely I know) I can't come home to a !!!!!! cluttered house. It MUST be DIFFERENT. 

Buffythedebtslayer

Ate FAR TOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH. 
Like wow. I like my roast potatoes. 

beanielou

I just eat too much of everything.
I don't have an off button.

crazy_cat_lady

Small things when you're not feeling it Buffy. I got up Saturday and couldn't be bothered with anything. So I gave myself the aim of watching an episode of my latest box set, followed by 5 minutes of either putting something away or chucking it out. I had a full binbag in no time and then went on to spend a bit of time actually cooking food in the kitchen. Shocker

Buffythedebtslayer

Ugh, I don't have an off switch either. 
Ok. So the good news. Small house bunny has come through operation. He is extremely sad tho so I am worried. 
I am mid way through the moving and finishing off of my room. In terms of the whole Marie Kondo situation I am nearly done. 
I am very grateful for my best friends. 
I have kept up with my 30 minutes of walking each day. 
I have kept up with my French. 
The bad news. 
Me, I am struggling. My friend and I had a frank discussion about money and I realised she earns WAY more than I do, I get she has a better and more responsible job but she earned more in her previous job which wasn't as responsible. There isn't much to say really. I don't want a different job. I like my school now a lot of the complete !!!!!! have "moved on". It has potential to be a great place. Not well paid tho. The thing is I was pretty happy with my wages, I assumed that I earned a similar amount to my friends but since I have the negotiations skills of a Kangaroo I think I probably don't.  I think I am just feeling a bit deflated and sad. Bit of a mug? I don't know. 
Also, alongside this is my friend and his new house. It looks amazing and I am so jealous. Not proud of myself for feeling like this but I really am. I want that. I really do. And right now I don't see how. 
Plus Mum has had a horrible few days. I don't know. I had  ordered a few (ok 50 quid's worth) things from Amazon as aids but she simply will not use them and seems to want to be alone with the pain. I can't actually deal with being in the same room as her sometimes I feel so much guilt about just being able to move easily. Luckily I have loads to do so it sort of works out. 
I was not made to be nurse, not at all. 
I know these feelings will pass and to be honest I just looked at my room and can see how it is going to be so that is good. One thing at a time eh? 

Sun_Addict

I'm sorry to hear you're struggling Buffster. Could you ask your friends how they got to be earning more than you if they're doing a similar job? Is it possible to negotiate extra money or are you tied to a set wage like I am working in the public sector? 

I'm not a natural carer either even though I've been doing it for 8 years now, I have absolutely zero patience. 

Just focus on what you can control and achieve for now. Big hugs and take care x

Honeysucklelou2

Can you do the NPQML or NPQSL, if you haven’t already? There does seem to be a ceiling in the educational pay which I haven’t mastered breaking through yet, but the above qualifications seem to help the break through. 

Gald the house bunny has come through the op. Hope he is feeling much better today.