Buffy takes it 6 months at a time

Sun_Addict

I’m sorry you’ve had bad news about the bunny xx

badmemory

I mentioned depression because my mother was always the very opposite of depressed until the dementia started.

Why are you worrying about inheritance tax?  Unless of course she has the odd million lying around.  If your father left everything to her then that is £325k on top of her own £325k plus the house as long as it is left between her daughters, even without a will it should just be split between the 3? of you.  Personally I think it is more important to get the power of attorneys done.  £82 each and easy to DIY.

Buffythedebtslayer

Yeah I just read that about inheritance tax so I would be ok, she certainly doesn't have the odd million lying around 
I was worrying cos I didn't know, never looked into it. 
I did my walk, it was so cold and I haven't spent any money. I have to go into work tomorrow and the next day, bit worried about the roads. Need petrol. 
My friend had reminded me I have loads of work to do. I thought the day was going too well............

Buffythedebtslayer

I ate far too much dinner. I am totally stuffed. And I haven't drunk enough water. 
I forgot to say in all the deep and meaningful stuff (which I would like to put to one side for now) I dyed my hair and plucked my eyebrows today. Hair is a bit dark but generally I feel better, got parents evening on Thursday and didn't fancy showing off my epic roots. I think one day I will cut my hair super short and let it grow back grey/white and sod all this dying lark. but not yet. 
Maybe shave it all off and live in a monastery during the awkward phase........sure the Nuns wouldn't mind.  

I need to check my bank and the outdoor rabbits...bank first. XXX 

Buffythedebtslayer

Oh yeah and totally procrastinating on the work front......

beanielou

Did your eyebrows~~don't get too carried away~~ mine are like caterpillars at the moment.
If I take my glasses off I can't see to do them    

Buffythedebtslayer

beanielou said:

Did your eyebrows~~don't get too carried away~~ mine are like caterpillars at the moment.
If I take my glasses off I can't see to do them    

I have to say I had a similar problem re the glasses, It was a bit touch and go but less forestry up there now! 

Jellytotts

We lived with my grandparents when I was growing up, they had a big old Victorian terrace and split it into 2 flats.  When my grandad was on his own and mid 70s my parents were loathe to leave him but needed security so the house was valued, my granddad then adjusted the total for the rent paid and the work dad had done on repairs etc and then the resulting value was  split into 3 with 2 parts to be paid equally to each of mums 2 sisters.  It meant that they only had around £20k to pay to each sister and sorted the legal costs of transferring the deeds etc.  The sisters weren't best pleased as they thought they'd be getting 1/3 do the house value but they did eventually realise that the rent paid over the years and the maintenance my Dad was undertaking on the house was the only reason my grandparents could afford to live there (and the house had retained any value) and my Mum cared for them both until they died.  

If you had something similar in place with your sisters that you'd continue to live there and care for your mum but at the end you need the lions share of the property for all that you've paid in, monetary and physically/mentally,  

To be honest your Mum doesn't even have to know at this stage, just an agreement drawn up with your sisters.  Obviously if it can be sorted before your Mum may need to go into care then it protects the house from being sold and you all ending up with nothing. 

I know it's hideous but you've put so many years into being there for your Mum and your life has suffered because of it (I mean suffered as in you've not been able to move onwards with the bills/rent etc you have to help your mum with). It does mean you'd be there for good but maybe that will help mentally with not feeling like you need to get away, anything you do in the property would be an investment for your future.

[Deleted User]

Hey Bufster.  Just wanted to pop by and send hugs.  It must be so so difficult with your mum and you really do do everything for her.  She is very very lucky to have you but please if you can, try break away for your own sanity.  Your mum sounds a little bit like mine - my dad tended to be the instigator of everything and do all the "heavy lifting" and mum never really had any confidence to do things.  Now my dad sadly has Parkinsons and is unable to do a lot of things for himself, and my mum has really had to step up and she has done and is more confident for it I think.  I do wonder whether, if your mum had no option but to fend for herself more, she might just get on with it.  But obviously I don't know her so sorry if I am speaking out of turn.

Really sorry about your bunny.  Hope you can find a resolution x

Sun_Addict

Lucky you still having eyebrows, mine are so fair they’ve disappeared. I usually have them waxed and tinted every 8 weeks. I really wish I’d made an effort to have them done before lockdown 😩