Unwanted gifts

happyandcontented

Marvel1 wrote: »

How hard is it to listen and carry out the wish of not wanting a gift?

It may give someone a lot of pleasure to buy for you and if the charity shop then benefits where is the harm in that?

I think it is ungrateful to be so dogmatic when it comes to people being generous.

kerri_gt

loveabargain13 wrote: »

I received bath products for Christmas and I’d just informed the person that we had no baths in the house! So 1 set is currently being used as an air freshener in the conservatory gawww bath bombs are strong and 1 set I sold on eBay.

Ohhh I do love a good bath bomb...no one ever buys me any though :rotfl:

I have a friend who I'd never buy bath things for as I know she hates baths and prefers showers, similarly I'd never buy her a candle as she doesn't like lighting them or having them lit.

OP I think you need to be honest with friends who have obv spent a lot on something like the dog picture and just say 'it's really thoughtful but it's just not really my taste' perhaps they'd like it back, could return it or will just know for next year.
With one of my best friends we agreed to stop doing Christmas gifts but try and meet up for a meal before Christmas and spend time together. Perhaps you could suggest that to some and stop the present buying.

As for Grannies scarf, just wear it round there, it will please her and she won't be around forever.

elsien

My brother always says he doesn't want gifts, and if it was just him I would respect that. But his children like seeing him open things when they open their presents - they are sad if he is sitting there with nothing.
So I normally spend rather less than a fiver on cheap books that I know he will read from the pound shop or charity shop, a bit of chocolate and some Poundland tat because we have an ongoing competition over who can find the worst present. He can live with that, and I don't care if it all ends up back in the charity shop so everyone is reasonably happy. What he doesn't want is people spending lots, him having to look grateful whether he wants it or not, and endless preChristmas questions about what he wants, in the build up.

Jimmithecat

onwards&upwards wrote: »

What a horrible thing to do to people who care about you.

For the last 2 years I have been avidly decluttering the house now the children have left home - when clearing the loft I got rid of what must have been hundreds of pounds worth of presents I have been given over the years that I did not want or need.
I have told family and friends that I have decluttered and if you have read the decluttering thread on mse I think most people will agree with me on there how happy they feel when they have more organised and streamlined lives.
As I let everyone know that as I have returned their gifts and they can expect a credit back to their bank account for the robin paperweight, turtle ornament etc I did not want - I don’t expect them to buy me anything next year.
You may see it as ungrateful - I just see it as practical.

Primrose

I think now Christmas is over and long before the pressures of having to buy presents for next Christmas Arrives is a good time to say to all your contacts. "how would you feel about not buying presents next year ? There,s a lot of pressure about reducing our carbon in footprint and in its own way I think the extravagance of Christmas is just contributing to this"

I,ve agreed this with all my family and friends now. I like to think it's making a tiny impact on the manufacturing processes which contribute to climate change. It,s certainly made a massive difference to my pre Christmas sanity and stress.!

Jimmithecat

onwards&upwards wrote: »

What a horrible thing to do to people who care about you.

I like to be honest and agree with bogof babe -

I think some people get mesmerised with the seasonal tat that is bought in by shops especially to attract the gullible. Seems to work every year .

There are shipfulls of overpackaged tat coming over from China each year for Christmas - much of which will end up in landfill - if I don’t want it or need it and like to live a minimalistic lifestyle I don’t see myself as horrible - just honest

tealady

I made an agreement with friends and rellies that it was cards only please.
If they wanted to buy a gift for me then a donation to charity would be great. I dont care if they make a donation in time, money or something for a charity shop.
Works for us, with the money I saved I bought something I REALLY wanted.
Also is more environmentally friendly as no bin full of wrapping paper.

Pollycat

happyandcontented wrote: »

I agree, re gifting or a charity shop reaping the benefit is a win all round. It means that no-one has their feelings hurt or worse, you deeply offend them. Why wouldn't a recipient just smile and say thank you? How hard can that be?

I think the gift givers have deeply offended jimmithecat by not listening to him.
Why should a recipient 'just smile and say 'thank you' for a gift they've expressly said they don't want?

onwards&upwards

Marvel1 wrote: »

No it ain't, people who care about you will listen and act on your wishes. Please explain why is this so hard to understand?

Someone close to me asked recently if I used so and so from last year and insaid no, it's unopened and i said it's your problem if you didnt listen to me last year when I said i dont want gifts I hate it (habe for years and they know this). Made it clear this year it would be the same and they didn't get me anything and I thanked them for listening.

Well I suppose if you keep treating your friends like that, then unwanted gifts are not a problem you’ll be dealing with for very long!

dreaming

This thread is so interesting. I was lucky to have some lovely presents this year but have in the past had my fair share of gifts where I have wondered if the giver actually knew me and my tastes at all. However I believe that if a gift is given it is done so without conditions (otherwise it isn't a "gift") so feel no regrets at all about either re-gifting or sending to charity shop. I am not very sentimental about stuff so can appreciate the thought behind the gift without caring about the thing itself, if that makes sense? I don't get hung up about the things I give to others either and certainly wouldn't question them about whether they are using it and wouldn't feel in the least offended if they regifted/donated the item.
I think some of this stems from my exH who would often spend a lot of money (which we didn't always have) on a gift but would also then go on about how much it cost, or how hard it had beeen to find to such an extent that I felt obliged to gush over the present even when it was something I didn't particularly want or like. I don't like clutter anyway so my family and friends know that I am unlikely to want ornaments etc. but I am easily pleased with a couple of bars of my favourite chocolate (not fancy stuff please) or a book voucher.