Unwanted gifts

olgadapolga

I think that I'd just get rid of it all. My MIL once gave me a load of presents that just weren't 'me' and I disposed of them the same day. She never asked where the items were.

UKTigerlily

Just say the wall hanging will be going in the bedroom, they won't be looking in there I assume?

elsien

Pictures are very personal and it was silly of whoever it was to buy you something so big without checking first.
I'd tell them that it's just too big for the space that you have, and suggest they return it for a refund so that the money isn't wasted. If they push, then you can go on to say you appreciate the thought and effort but it's really not your taste.

Anyone with half a brain should realise that it's very real possibility that the recipient of such an item may or may not like it.

oystercatcher

ripplyuk wrote: »

I have previously suggested not buying gifts but they kept buying things anyway. I doubt they’ll be disappointed with what I bought them as I always ask what they want beforehand whereas they prefer to ‘surprise’ me.

So next year tell them what you would like and use , even if it's your favourite tea/coffee /handcream ask for something you will use and enjoy! You have just under a year to plan this !

ska_lover

Pollycat wrote: »

You need a pair of big girl (or boy) pants.
Tell them you're not buying gifts - in plenty of time - and say you won't accept any gifts.

Or continue to have a house full of stuff you don't want and are collecting dust until you feel an acceptable time has passed until you can get rid of them.

I can't understand why so many people allow other people to waste money on unwanted gifts.
It makes me very cross.

I agree

This is why we stopped doing adult presents - loved ones spending money on stuff we don't want (and likely vice versa). It was this time of year we made the announcement to all - and have never looked back

Do it OP, tell them all now. It is a game changer

Pollycat

ska_lover wrote: »

I agree

This is why we stopped doing adult presents - loved ones spending money on stuff we don't want (and likely vice versa). It was this time of year we made the announcement to all - and have never looked back

Do it OP, tell them all now. It is a game changer

We had a chat with very good friends about the exact same thing yesterday - not from our position as the only people who buy me gifts (OH, Sister and the friend) know me so well that I know I'll have gifts that delight me - not just for the gift but the thought that has gone into it.
In fact, I swear my sister records all our conversations as she'll buy me something that I've mentioned months ago or something that I was looking for when we were out shopping together. Not big monetary value but perfect.

2 gifts like that this year.
Her thoughtfulness made me want to cry.

But my friend's family spend silly money on stuff that is clearly 'not her style'.

The OP says she's suggested not buying gifts previously

ripplyuk wrote: »

I have previously suggested not buying gifts but they kept buying things anyway. I doubt they’ll be disappointed with what I bought them as I always ask what they want beforehand whereas they prefer to ‘surprise’ me.

but I think to avoid the same thing next year, she probably needs to be much more forceful.
I'd say 'Next Christmas, I'm not buying gifts and I don't want you to buy any for me either. Please don't upset me by buying me something as you'll just make me feel uncomfortable and I don't want to feel that way.'

It may be harder if the OP is in the room with lots of other people all exchanging gifts but I would still do it.

ripplyuk

oystercatcher wrote: »

So next year tell them what you would like and use , even if it's your favourite tea/coffee /handcream ask for something you will use and enjoy! You have just under a year to plan this !

Some of them don’t like me giving suggestions. They said it’s rude to ask for things. Which is a bit strange since they will give me ideas of what they want, but I guess that’s because I insist they tell me or else I won’t buy them anything. I don’t want to waste my money on stuff they don’t want. They don’t seem to care if they’ve wasted their own money.

ripplyuk

Pollycat wrote: »

I'd say 'Next Christmas, I'm not buying gifts and I don't want you to buy any for me either. Please don't upset me by buying me something as you'll just make me feel uncomfortable and I don't want to feel that way.'

It may be harder if the OP is in the room with lots of other people all exchanging gifts but I would still do it.

Saying anything like that just ends up with me being viewed as Ebenezer Scrooge. I’m in the room with everyone exchanging gifts and I would really feel like the odd one out. I’m also not against gift-giving. I like buying gifts for people and I have received some lovely gifts in return. It’s just that some of them are of no use to me.

need_an_answer

OP do you think you are a hard person to buy a gift for or are you just someone who has a set of friends and family that don't really know what you like?

You seem to have received a lot of presents that you don't particularly like or are not to your taste.

Pollycat

ripplyuk wrote: »

Saying anything like that just ends up with me being viewed as Ebenezer Scrooge. I’m in the room with everyone exchanging gifts and I would really feel like the odd one out. I’m also not against gift-giving. I like buying gifts for people and I have received some lovely gifts in return. It’s just that some of them are of no use to me.

Well, I guess you have choices.
Either stick to the 'I'm not buying gifts, please don't buy me any' mantra and be viewed as Ebeneezer Scrooge. It sounds like you don't like that suggestion if it would upset you to be the only one not opening gifts.
Put up with what you're given. And decide how to get rid of the rubbish in a way that suits you. In a timescale that suits you.

I really don't think there's any etiquette that dictates how long you should hang on to a gift that isn't to your taste.
If you don't want to upset people who expect you to have some hideous item hanging on the wall when they visit, then you'll have to hang the hideous item on your wall.