Unwanted gifts

onwards&upwards

ripplyuk wrote: »

I like buying gifts for people and I have received some lovely gifts in return. It’s just that some of them are of no use to me.

That’s life! It’s just one of those things!

ska_lover

Some family still insist on spending money on low-cost presents even though they well know, after years of this situation, this will not be reciprocated

I sincerely wish they wouldn't. It could make you feel bad, if you let it, like feel as if you should buy for them...but we don't buy and don't feel bad. IMHO it is them pushing their traditions on me.

I wish they would respect our wishes TBH...but clearly buying tat is more important to them than respect

littlegreenparrot

Are some of these groups that are likely to gather again next year? Could you do secret santa?

I started this a few years ago with my siblings. We do the draw every year, set a reasonable value on it, and everyone makes a few suggestions for things they would like.
It has worked very well, costs less, less thinking/ stress, less likely to get given things that aren't of use, everyone still gets a present.

It works for us, but of course won't in every situation. I'm big sister so get to set the rules 😁

Bogof_Babe

Do you even know whether they actually went and bought the offending tat? Or happened to find it in their loft, and are re-donating it from last year.

I see on this forum (mainly on the charity shop thread) many references to "put it in the gifts drawer", which I always think is a bit dicey - if it's not nice enough for you to want to keep and use yourself, what makes you think others won't feel the same?

Pollycat

Bogof_Babe wrote: »

Do you even know whether they actually went and bought the offending tat? Or happened to find it in their loft, and are re-donating it from last year.

I see on this forum (mainly on the charity shop thread) many references to "put it in the gifts drawer", which I always think is a bit dicey - if it's not nice enough for you to want to keep and use yourself, what makes you think others won't feel the same?

Because people's tastes are different?
I would only put something in my gift drawer if I was 100% sure someone would love it.

ripplyuk

Bogof_Babe wrote: »

Do you even know whether they actually went and bought the offending tat? Or happened to find it in their loft, and are re-donating it from last year.

The DVD could be a regift but the rest of this stuff has been bought. I’ve seen some of these things in shops recently and one of them has just been released. Another is personalised. The wall hanging is something my friend was excited about as she’s been telling me for weeks that I’m ‘going to love it’. Not all this stuff is cheap. Some is quite expensive, which makes it worse.

Pollycat

ripplyuk wrote: »

The DVD could be a regift but the rest of this stuff has been bought. I’ve seen some of these things in shops recently and one of them has just been released. Another is personalised. The wall hanging is something my friend was excited about as she’s been telling me for weeks that I’m ‘going to love it’. Not all this stuff is cheap. Some is quite expensive, which makes it worse.

Of course it makes it worse.

Which is why - imho - you should put a stop to it.
I'd rather be sat in a room with people opening gifts and exclaiming over how 'nice' they are with nothing to open myself than know that people are wasting their money (and time).

oystercatcher

[QUOTE=ripplyuk;76662280._The_wall_hanging_is_something_my_friend_was_excited_about_as_she’s_been_telling_me_for_weeks_that_I’m_‘going_to_love_it’._Not_all_this_stuff_is_cheap._Some_is_quite_expensive,_which_makes_it_worse.[/QUOTE]

This is why you need to be honest so your friend realises your tastes are different to hers. This is why I suggested asking if she wanted it back, she clearly thinks this wallhanging is wonderful so would probably want it in her own place. Use the excuse that its too big if you prefer but if you don't make it clear what you like and don't like how will people know what to buy?

onwards&upwards

Pollycat wrote: »

Of course it makes it worse.

Which is why - imho - you should put a stop to it.
I'd rather be sat in a room with people opening gifts and exclaiming over how 'nice' they are with nothing to open myself than know that people are wasting their money (and time).

That’s what you’d prefer, but you’re not really thinking of the others and how it would make them feel.

Pollycat

onwards&upwards wrote: »

That’s what you’d prefer, but you’re not really thinking of the others and how it would make them feel.

I am thinking of them in a way they wouldn't realise.
Saving their money instead of buying rubbish gifts.