40 year old male mid life crisis?

chesky

The OP only kept his post there for five minutes before taking it down. So he didn't really have the chance to dislike the answers.

I didn't see it but perhaps reading it back, he had the chance to see in cold print that he's being a bit of an idiot.

Accountant_Kerry

Pollycat wrote: »

I didn't give any answers.
I just asked questions.

Sorry 'responses' not answers

Pollycat

Accountant_Kerry wrote: »

Sorry 'responses' not answers

I knew what you meant.

smithers1981

Thanks for replies and apologies there was too much detail that could identify me and the thought of wife finding out anything else scared me.

Wife wants to make a go of things but my heart is still lusting after girl at work, girl at work gone cold on me as she has had some abusive txts from wife and because I’m staying ‘with’ wife although currently in spare room.

Lust is a horrible thing but all consuming, currently txting girl still behind wife’s back.

Girl is 12 years younger than me but wife is 16 years older honestly my brain is pickled. I know what I’m doing or have done is wrong but I can’t help but keep doing it.

Pollycat

smithers1981 wrote: »

Thanks for replies and apologies there was too much detail that could identify me and the thought of wife finding out anything else scared me.

Wife wants to make a go of things but my heart is still lusting after girl at work, girl at work gone cold on me as she has had some abusive txts from wife and because I’m staying ‘with’ wife although currently in spare room.

Lust is a horrible thing but all consuming, currently txting girl still behind wife’s back.

Girl is 12 years younger than me but wife is 16 years older honestly my brain is pickled. I know what I’m doing or have done is wrong but I can’t help but keep doing it.

I don't think there is any advice that anyone can give you that you would take notice of.
You are thinking with your nether regions and are risking losing your wife, your child, your home and - least of all - this girl that you are infatuated with.
If your wife ever finds out that, despite her willingness to try to make your relationship work, you still want this girl and are still in touch with her behind your wifes back, get ready for some spectacular fireworks.

Incidentally, I think your wife is wrong to blame this girl.
You are the one cheating on your wife.
You are the one who spoke marriage vows.

NeilCr

Out of interest how has wife got "girl at works" number to be able to send her abusive texts? Especially, as you have only known her a few weeks

Given what appears to be happening I'd have kept the two of them as far apart as I possibly could!

euronorris

Don't be ridiculous. Of course you can help it. You are choosing to do it. Stop trying to absolve yourself of responsibility.


And there is no doubt that what you have done, and are still doing is wrong. Stop trying to convince yourself otherwise.


Regardless, you clearly don't care about anything or anyone but yourself and won't listen to any advice provided. What you really wanted was for someone to tell you that what you are doing is OK. It isn't!

hazyjo

smithers1981 wrote: »

Wife wants to make a go of things but my [STRIKE]heart[/STRIKE] [insert word for male bits] is still lusting after girl at work.

Corrected that for you.


Do hate it when people feel they need to act on it when they fancy someone and get shown attention back. Behaved like that in my teens and early 20s. Ashamed now. I still fancy people - I'm only human! And still get blokes chatting me up (I'm 49 and currently have a 23 year old who is somewhat obsessed lol) but it doesn't mean I'm going to go off and have an affair with them. Flattered, yes! Of course! He's fit as... lol. But I like to think my morals, principles, not to mention love for my OH would stop anything from every happening.


Work on your own values, self worth and your wife's. You're treating her terribly.

Pollycat

OP
I'm not sure what you are looking for by posting on here.
Advice?
Approbation? (not going to happen)
Just to get it off your chest?

Do you think you are being fair to your wife?
Do you think you are being fair to your daughter?
What does your wife think about the sports car you bought to go alongside this irresistible lust (it's resistable, it really is if you have backbone and respect for your family)?

Just do the right thing and be honest with your wife and accept the consequences.

And like NeilCr I'd like to know how your wife got hold of your bit-on-the-side's mobile number?
Did you want to get found out in sort sort of bizarre Freudian way?

Erinome

smithers1981 wrote: »

Girl is 12 years younger than me but wife is 16 years older

LOL!

(I'm guessing you're around 30?)