Sharing income when moving in together

mgdavid

mark5 wrote: »

Why do some people feel you should split your income if you move in together?

Surely the one who earns more money probably has a more difficult or responsible job or maybe works more hours so should enjoy the rewards of this and not have to split the difference with the lower earner?

sounds to me like you want an FWB rather than a true loving sharing relationship with a life partner. Maybe you're just not ready to move in with anyone yet.

Silvertabby

mark5 wrote: »

Why do some people feel you should split your income if you move in together?

Surely the one who earns more money probably has a more difficult or responsible job or maybe works more hours so should enjoy the rewards of this and not have to split the difference with the lower earner?

That's fine if you will just be house/flat sharing. You are clearly not yet ready for a proper relationship.

ska_lover

maman wrote: »

I really don't admire people who earn low wages from choice and then expect their partners to subsidise them. If you want to work part time {childcare and health issues excluded) then you should be prepared to take the hit financially.

I really agree with this.

I think it has to do with my upbringing and witnessing it with my parents.

I would never expect my husband to subsidise me. I have zero respect for people who do it - without good reason - like you say, childcare, health etc..

When we met, I was very independent, own house, career etc - and we always have gone 50/50 on everything

And that continues now...Through my own choice, I took a wage drop - and I would never hear of lowering my 50% - it is my choice, my life and he should never have to suffer for my choices

ska_lover

Silvertabby wrote: »

That's fine if you will just be house/flat sharing. You are clearly not yet ready for a proper relationship.

That is a completely unnecessary and unfounded thing to say to someone, merely because you do not agree with their financial situation

onomatopoeia99

Silvertabby wrote: »

That's fine if you will just be house/flat sharing. You are clearly not yet ready for a proper relationship.

Expecting to be financially carried is also a pretty clear indicator that the girlfriend isn't ready for a proper relationship as well. We aren't living in the Georgian Regency any more.

ska_lover

onomatopoeia99 wrote: »

Expecting to be financially carried is also a pretty clear indicator that the girlfriend isn't ready for a proper relationship as well. We aren't living in the Georgian Regency any more.

See I agree with this - expecting to be financially carried, does, IMO, tell of some immaturity / irresponsibility / independance

Is she looking for a partner, or another father figure?

But really it is different for all, some people are happy with this arrangement and others, like me, wouldn't be

onwards&upwards

ska_lover wrote: »

I really agree with this.

I think it has to do with my upbringing and witnessing it with my parents.

I would never expect my husband to subsidise me. I have zero respect for people who do it - without good reason - like you say, childcare, health etc..

When we met, I was very independent, own house, career etc - and we always have gone 50/50 on everything

And that continues now...Through my own choice, I took a wage drop - and I would never hear of lowering my 50% - it is my choice, my life and he should never have to suffer for my choices

Would you count working full time but in a low paid job as a good reason?

meer53

mark5 wrote: »

Why do some people feel you should split your income if you move in together?

Surely the one who earns more money probably has a more difficult or responsible job or maybe works more hours so should enjoy the rewards of this and not have to split the difference with the lower earner?

If this is your opinion and your GF disagrees your relationship isn't going to last. A relationship isn't about who works hardest or who earns most money. What will you do if you have children ?

borkid

ska_lover wrote: »

I really agree with this.

I think it has to do with my upbringing and witnessing it with my parents.

I would never expect my husband to subsidise me. I have zero respect for people who do it - without good reason - like you say, childcare, health etc..

When we met, I was very independent, own house, career etc - and we always have gone 50/50 on everything

And that continues now...Through my own choice, I took a wage drop - and I would never hear of lowering my 50% - it is my choice, my life and he should never have to suffer for my choices

How about this scenario. Husband graduates first and takes on a trainee post, once quailfied will earn a lot. He also wants children and with his family background there is the potential for a disabled child but he won't agree to genetic conselling also doesn't believe in children coming home to an empty house. Wife graduates a year later and is offered the chance to study for a PhD which would enable her to earn more eventually but turns it down as timing etc would mean difficulties with what the husband would like. She takes a lower paid job but still providing a valuable service to the population.



Should, when the husband is eventually earning a lot more, he not be expected to ' subsidise' his wife if she has missed out on opportunites due to enabling his wishes.


If you are in a loving relationship then both partners should be considered equal, a lot can be brought to a relationship which can't be quantised in terms of money.

Gavin83

Honestly I think a lot depends on circumstances. I could understand someone being resentful sharing their finances if their partner works part time, out of choice with no real desire to better themselves. However if both work hard and one just happens to earn more than the other then I'd imagine most would be happier to share.

Personally me and my wife keep our finances fairly separate. We have a joint account for the bills and everything else is kept separate. It works for us. We're both reasonably well paid though and have always earned similar amounts, were that different we might take a different approach.

PasturesNew wrote: »

Myth alert.

Working harder does not = more money.

More money is a complex issue of working harder, location, background, opportunities and LUCK.

I'd say it's mostly a case of supply and demand. Anyone could be a care assistant but very few could play football for Manchester Utd. The more people who can do a job the less it'll pay.