Sharing income when moving in together

happyandcontented

PasturesNew wrote: »

Myth alert.

Working harder does not = more money.

More money is a complex issue of working harder, location, background, opportunities and LUCK.

Does David Beckham "work harder" than an A&E nurse? No, he was lucky his background/location enabled him to play football, he was lucky to be able to progress with it and be spotted .... he was lucky to be in an industry that started to pay "daft money" for kicking balls about.

It's wrong - and quite arrogant - to assume that everybody has had the same opportunities to this point and all they need to do to earn more is to "work harder".



Just saying.

I agree, a lot of the less desirable jobs in terms of payment are actually very demanding and socially necessary.

[Deleted User]

mark5 wrote: »

Im not saying all bills should be split 50/50 but it seems to take the incentive to work harder away if you have to give a proportion away.

Im of the opinion of if you want something you work for it but my girlfriend seems to think everything should be split 50/50 but I think thats easy to say when your working shorter hours in a less physical job.

If your gf thinks bills should be split 50/50 and you don't think you should subsidise her, for want of a better word, then what's the issue?

onwards&upwards

mark5 wrote: »

Surely the one who earns more money probably has a more difficult or responsible job or maybe works more hours

Not necessarily.

In my experience there isn’t that much connection between how hard or important the job is and how much you get paid.

Some of the highest paid people I know are a sales rep who gets loads of perks and has a very flash life and a web designer who works from home for about 5-6 hours a day.

onwards&upwards

mark5 wrote: »

Im not saying all bills should be split 50/50 but it seems to take the incentive to work harder away if you have to give a proportion away.

Im of the opinion of if you want something you work for it but my girlfriend seems to think everything should be split 50/50 but I think thats easy to say when your working shorter hours in a less physical job.

If you consider sharing with your partner so you can both have a good quality of life to be ‘giving it away’ then you’re never going to make it work.

geminilady

Lover_of_Lycra wrote: »

If your gf thinks bills should be split 50/50 and you don't think you should subsidise her, for want of a better word, then what's the issue?[/QUOTE



I think he means the girlfriend thinks both wages should be put together and the bills payed out of that

Pollycat

mark5 wrote: »

Why do some people feel you should split your income if you move in together?

Surely the one who earns more money probably has a more difficult or responsible job or maybe works more hours so should enjoy the rewards of this and not have to split the difference with the lower earner?

Why are you concerning yourself with what other people think?
As long as you and your partner agree with how you manage your finances, that's all that matters.

But from your later post, that's not the case.
You'll just have to come to some agreement.
Or end up lonely.

pinkshoes

mark5 wrote: »

but my girlfriend seems to think everything should be split 50/50 but I think thats easy to say when your working shorter hours in a less physical job.

If you do not agree with your girlfriend’s work ethic then she isn’t the girl for you, thus you should not be moving in together.

My ex earned much more than me but worked a VERY stressful job. I could have earned more if I had chosen to, but didn’t want the extra stress. We paid 50/50 on house stuff, but he did treat me to nice meals out in date night, whereas I preferred to cook when it was my turn.

paddyz

mark5 wrote: »

Im not saying all bills should be split 50/50 but it seems to take the incentive to work harder away if you have to give a proportion away.

Im of the opinion of if you want something you work for it but my girlfriend seems to think everything should be split 50/50 but I think thats easy to say when your working shorter hours in a less physical job.

I’m guessing girlfriend wants you to split all finances 50/50 not the bills

This is a case of how you feel about your money, your responsibility to your partner, if she feels she would be broke each month after sharing the bills 50/50 and you feel it’s unfair to pay some of her share you really need to talk openly about this before you move in together

I’m of the older generation where everything gets out in one pot and you budget out of it and are both in it totally together good times or bad, but times have changed and couples seem to want the independence of having separate finances, my thoughts are that ok if you both earn similar incomes but one on 15k a year and other on 35k will be a huge chunk of the lower income partners income

Negotiations and a bit of comprising is what works well in any relationship, sort things out and do what’s fair for you both

zagfles

mark5 wrote: »

Im not saying all bills should be split 50/50 but it seems to take the incentive to work harder away if you have to give a proportion away.

Im of the opinion of if you want something you work for it but my girlfriend seems to think everything should be split 50/50 but I think thats easy to say when your working shorter hours in a less physical job.

If she's working shorter hours and wants everything split 50/50 presumably she'll do most of the housework?

People have different ideas of what relationships should be and what's fair. You could live independantly, buy your own food, do your own cooking etc, so your finances remaining separate would be sensible, or you could live like a married couple where you shop, eat and generally spend/socialise jointly. In which case joint finances make sense, and if one earns more typically the other will contribute more in other ways eg housework

maman

I'm definitely not of the 'one pot' camp but I have reservations.

There are people who work very hard and long hours but society doesn't value what they do. That goes for a lot of caring professionals.:(

I really don't admire people who earn low wages from choice and then expect their partners to subsidise them. If you want to work part time {childcare and health issues excluded) then you should be prepared to take the hit financially.

I'd sooner employ a cleaner than cut my hours to do my own house work.