Sharing income when moving in together

mark5

Why do some people feel you should split your income if you move in together?

Surely the one who earns more money probably has a more difficult or responsible job or maybe works more hours so should enjoy the rewards of this and not have to split the difference with the lower earner?

Faith177

mark5 wrote: »

Why do some people feel you should split your income if you move in together?

Surely the one who earns more money probably has a more difficult or responsible job or maybe works more hours so should enjoy the rewards of this and not have to split the difference with the lower earner?

However if your willing to move in with someone that means your a couple and a couple should work together

OldMusicGuy

Seems pretty selfish to say you want to move in with someone but not share your resources. This will just be a source of resentment that is likely to fester in the future. Sounds like it already is for you.

74jax

mark5 wrote: »

Why do some people feel you should split your income if you move in together?

Surely the one who earns more money probably has a more difficult or responsible job or maybe works more hours so should enjoy the rewards of this and not have to split the difference with the lower earner?

We moved in and didn't split income. Hubby earns a lot more than me, but we both don't actually spend all our income, so really doesn't make a difference to us.

I think if one had money left over and the other didn't and was struggling then it would make more sense to me to pool resources.

[Deleted User]

mark5 wrote: »

Why do some people feel you should split your income if you move in together?

Surely the one who earns more money probably has a more difficult or responsible job or maybe works more hours so should enjoy the rewards of this and not have to split the difference with the lower earner?

If you’re taking the step to live together then your forming one household. If there’s a large discrepancy in income then either the higher earner would have to reduce their standard of life to something affordable to the lower earner or the lower earner will end up in a lot of debt trying to keep up. You also don’t know what’s round the corner, the higher earner could easily end up being the lower earner following illness or redundancy.

I earn a good living and my job is highly skilled but I don’t dread going to work the same way I used to with low paid jobs where workers were treated like crap.

elsien

mark5 wrote: »

Why do some people feel you should split your income if you move in together?

Surely the one who earns more money probably has a more difficult or responsible job or maybe works more hours so should enjoy the rewards of this and not have to split the difference with the lower earner?

So are you expecting the lower paid partner to still split all the bills and expenses 50/50?
Which would leave them with less disposable income, and potentially less money to do the level of social and holiday spending that the more affluent partner might like.
People arrange their finances in different ways but starting off from a position of selfishness either way is not conducive to a lasting relationship.

mark5

elsien wrote: »

So are you expecting the lower paid partner to still split all the bills and expenses 50/50?
Which would leave them with less disposable income, and potentially less money to do the level of social and holiday spending that the more affluent partner might like.
People arrange their finances in different ways but starting off from a position of selfishness either way is not conducive to a lasting relationship.

Im not saying all bills should be split 50/50 but it seems to take the incentive to work harder away if you have to give a proportion away.

Im of the opinion of if you want something you work for it but my girlfriend seems to think everything should be split 50/50 but I think thats easy to say when your working shorter hours in a less physical job.

chesky

But you won't be giving it away, will you. It's a household so you both benefit.

I reckon you'll be kinder to all concerned if you find someone else who shares your attitudes, and who does a job equally as 'physical' as you. Good job our miners didn't think like that, they'd have to share with PE teachers.

PasturesNew

mark5 wrote: »

...the incentive to work harder away if you have to give a proportion away.

Myth alert.

Working harder does not = more money.

More money is a complex issue of working harder, location, background, opportunities and LUCK.

Does David Beckham "work harder" than an A&E nurse? No, he was lucky his background/location enabled him to play football, he was lucky to be able to progress with it and be spotted .... he was lucky to be in an industry that started to pay "daft money" for kicking balls about.

It's wrong - and quite arrogant - to assume that everybody has had the same opportunities to this point and all they need to do to earn more is to "work harder".



Just saying.

unholyangel

mark5 wrote: »

Why do some people feel you should split your income if you move in together?

Surely the one who earns more money probably has a more difficult or responsible job or maybe works more hours so should enjoy the rewards of this and not have to split the difference with the lower earner?

Because everyone has their own idea of what is fair or right in a relationship. But it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks, only what the two people actually in the relationship think.

Some couples pool all money. Some couples split all bills 50/50. Some split only joint bills and pay individual bills themselves. Some couples split bills proportionally based on income (so if one earns 70% of the total income then they pay 70% of the bill). Some make allowances for who does more chores etc.

Earning more doesn't necessarily mean you have a more difficult job. Particularly when a job is likely to be more difficult if you're not any good at it

elsien

Is your girlfriend working full time? If not, is there a reason such as illness/caring responsibities?
A non physical job can be as draining, if not more so, than a physical one if it's particularly stressful so how physical a job is isn't a particularly relevant factor.