Kids don’t want to travel anymore

warby68

Some of my comments could be seen as negative.

However, the angle I see it from is why OP will always have to make almost 100% of the effort. In an ideal world, the ex would meet him half way, literally and figuratively BUT in a situation where her children's dad has set up another family 250 miles away, I can see why there isn't much give from the ex. The second family do better than the first and its hard on her children. When he uses the cost of the second family to make it even harder for the first then the resentment will build. I'm a neutral observer but also a mum and whilst I feel sorry for him, most of the choices are his own, and the bulk of my sympathy goes immediately to the first lot of children.

Hopefully some of the suggestions will help but not sure that the ones involving the ex compromising hugely will get any traction and using the argument that he has other children to provide for will only inflame things. Whichever way you shake it the first 4 children get a lot less of him than the 2nd three.

Bigger picture? He is still a loving dad slogging his guts out and I genuinely hope he finds a way to keep the contact going well. That might need some harsh lifestyle choices but it isn't for ever and there are some good suggestions here.

Good luck OP

toniq

Op it might hurt but maybe just have the children at yours at school holidays.


So a week in Feb,May, July, Oct?


So you can have it as quality time then they can make the most of time with you.


If you wife is happy to help then maybe add easter and Dec weeks too.


That way you still get to see them at your home and can save the money you would have used on monthly travel to do fun stuff etc.


I know it would hurt but as the kids get older they will need to be revising etc over weekends.


So if you and your new wife work together you should be able to cover most of the school hols and have kids at your home in manchester.


Hope I made sense


Quality time over quantity.

zagfles

kezzygirl wrote: »

Wow, you have had some harsh replies! I do not know what people are thinking by suggesting you uproot everyone to move closer, changing jobs, schools, home etc

The thing that sticks out for me, and was the case with my husband's ex, is that why does she not meet you halfway instead of the onus always being on you?

Mother's privilege. Some women have a massive sense of privilege where it comes to their kids, and it should always be the father who jumps through hoops to see his own kids.

It can backfire. I went to a wedding a few years ago where the bride refused to invite her own mother. Back story is the usual - parents split up, mother tried everything to thwart the relationship between father and daughter, caused daughter considerable misery, never forgiven her mother.