Complaint from next door neighbour

parkrunner

I don't find the letter rude but a chat first would have been better. OP it appears that the neighbour's daughter has been banging on your wall when it's too loud, that should have sent a message that something was wrong.

FreeBear

KinderScout2019 wrote: »

I was with my partner for the first 2 years, then she left me and moved out, I have been sad and I didnt go to my garden anymore. My garden now has overgrown weeds, this probably upset my neighbours...

Sounds like you are in a similar state of mind as me. My garden is little more than a huge weed patch, and quite frankly, I don't give a rat's bottom what my neighbour thinks. I'll go out and spray the nettles once or twice a year, and maybe use the lawnmower in the spring, but not much else.

Book an appoinment with your GP and talk to him/her about mental health & depression - Most of us suffer from it at some stage, and for a few, it can be really debilitating, as well as being a difficult subject to discuss.

Doozergirl wrote: »

couriervanman wrote: »

Regarding the phone......i know a few people who you can hear from 50 yrds shouting down the phone

I'm married to one.

I don't know why he thinks people can't hear him. He barely needs to phone anyone, he's that loud.

Yes. I could hear him last night, and I'm 150 miles away
(or it might have been a local youf outside on his mobile phone...)

PasturesNew

I think most people who finally get round to mentioning that somebody's noisy aren't doing it for the first occasion, or the occasional occasion, but the endless noise/upset they've felt forced to endure/suffer.

Many people live in houses where they hear their neighbour occasionally, or can tell when they're in .... but some live in houses where they can hear their neighbour peeing. Some people are normal - and some are excitable shouty loud outgoing wild types. If you get the wrong mix of house/neighbour life can be hell.

Maybe the OP IS shouting down his phone, and/or raucously laughing on the phone or at the telly, late into the night.

Noisy people often assume there's no noise transference as they hear none: that's because their neighbours are quiet.

Quiet doesn't mean tip toeing around, it just means not being a raucous, or excited/shouty, or noisy kn0b.

I've 22 immediate houses, within 100 yards. I don't hear them in the main - but every now and then one has a daughter visiting who will be shouting on the phone and I can hear every word.... it makes you want to also shout "Yeah, see ya!" as they're saying goodbye to whoever they're talking to. Imagine if one were to live next door to somebody like that all the time!

Some people can live their entire lives without ever having a noisy neighbour. A few years ago I was living next door to a holiday let - most of the time I heard absolutely nothing as an assortment of different holidaymakers rented it week in, week out - then one day a new set arrived and for the whole week it was like a pack of stampeding elephants every time one of them went up/down the stairs. Once they left, nothing again.

Marvel1

Smodlet wrote: »

If you share a party wall, you need to be quiet all the time

Not allowed to flush the toilet

Not allowed to hoover a carpet?

No running the washing machine?

No having a shower or a bath?

I printed some documents earlier, can't so that again it was noisy.

Best I take out my smoke alarm too, they can be noisy if it went off!

I hope you don't own a vehicle, it's not just your next door neighbour you are disturbing.

I hope you live alone like me, that way there are no conversations between 2 people taking place.

bouicca21

We have absolutely no idea whether OP is excessively noisy or whether his neighbours are over sensitive. If the neighbour has never said anything before sending the letter, then yes it was rude and unnecessary.

But what needs to happen now is that the situation is defused. I’d suggest it calls for outnicing the complainant. Go see her, give her some flowers and tell her you had no idea you were upsetting her and wish she had said something sooner.

If she’s normal she will be mollified. If she is a nut, you’ll find out soon enough.

KinderScout2019

Yes, this is the first warning from the neighbour. After a deep thought today, I really think this letter is rude and unnecessary.

Actually she could just tell me she can hear I was watching youtube and telephone call, I will immediately avoid that. Especially the phone call, it is my privacy, I don't want my neighbour to hear my conversation! It is scary to imaging she has been listening my phone call that I made at my house in my room.

onwards&upwards

KinderScout2019 wrote: »

Yes, this is the first warning from the neighbour. After a deep thought today, I really think this letter is rude and unnecessary.

Actually she could just tell me she can hear I was watching youtube and telephone call, I will immediately avoid that. Especially the phone call, it is my privacy, I don't want my neighbour to hear my conversation! It is scary to imaging she has been listening my phone call that I made at my house in my room.

She won’t have been listening, listening is different to being able to hear and I doubt she was interested.

I’m now wondering what kind of calls you make that you’d be scared about them being overheard!

KinderScout2019

onwards&upwards wrote: »

She won’t have been listening, listening is different to being able to hear and I doubt she was interested.

I’m now wondering what kind of calls you make that you’d be scared about them being overheard!

I sometimes has teleconference with Canada colleagues, some calls with families and friends, and some calls to the bank too... The scary part is I thought I was in a private and safe place when I made these calls, but my neighbour has been listening all the times.

onwards&upwards

KinderScout2019 wrote: »

I sometimes has teleconference with Canada colleagues, some calls with families and friends, and some calls to the bank too... The scary part is I thought I was in a private and safe place when I made these calls, but my neighbour has been listening all the times.

Relax, she doesn’t want your bank details or she wouldn’t be telling you to be quiet!

HampshireH

sometimes has teleconference with Canada colleagues, some calls with families and friends, and some calls to the bank too... The scary part is I thought I was in a private and safe place when I made these calls, but my neighbour has been listening all the times.

If they were that sensitive then you would have lowered the volume.

I am finding this whole thread a little hard to believe..not the content but the suggestion you are fearful of your neighbour, you found the letter threatening and now that this is scary.

I don't mean to sound rude but I'd you are that fearful or paranoid I think you need to address that within yourself.

From your neighbours point of view she clearly didn't find you approachable enough to speak to you.

Perhaps she is fearful of you? Scared of how tour late night phone calls sound.

I'm just flipping the situation