Complaint from next door neighbour

prowla

People have a right to a bit of peace in their own homes and to be able to sleep at night.


The tone of the letter is of someone who has become exasperated with the noise, describing the daughter having to bang on the wall.


9 or 10 o'clock is a reasonable bedtime for a child and they should have a reasonable expectation of being able to sleep.

elsien

That is a very passive aggressive letter and she should have tried to talk to you first.
Try not to take it to heart - if the issue is her daughter's bedroom then perhaps look at using the phone in another room. But as already said, some degree of noise is normal with shared walls and you do not have to alter your whole lifestyle to suit her.

If you want to stop it from escalating, do your council offer any sort of noise mediation? Quite honestly, if she goes to environmental health, they're not going to do anything unless you're blasting music out all night, so don't worry about that.

And trying to tiptoe round and appease her will only make you more stressed, so change a couple of things as suggested if you think it will help, then carry on living your life as normal. If she complains, she complains. Doesn't mean the complaint will be upheld if it's unreasonable. I can hear my neighbours talking in their bedroom at times. It's not against the law, because they're not shouting by, it's just the way the sound travels.

KinderScout2019

elsien wrote: »

That is a very passive aggressive letter and she should have tried to talk to you first.
Try not to take it to heart - if the issue is her daughter's bedroom then perhaps look at using the phone in another room. But as already said, some degree of noise is normal with shared walls and you do not have to alter your whole lifestyle to suit her.

If you want to stop it from escalating, do your council offer any sort of noise mediation. If she goes to environmental health, they're not going to do anything unless you're blasting music out all night, so don't worry about that.

I agree to take call on other room, and reduce the sound volume when I watch youtube...
I honestly didn't know my youtube watching and talking on the phone had caused problem to her, I would really appreciate a reminder that she can hear me, than a threatening note..

rach_k

I don't think you need to be distressed by the letter. She sounds a bit daft and it is rude and parts are incorrect, but it may be that she's been avoiding mentioning it for 4 years and now has reached boiling point! I'd just read it as somebody who is frustrated and not controlling herself very well. Pity her, don't fear her.

We have some pretty noisy neighbours and, honestly, it annoys me that I can hear their bedroom TV booming at midnight and from 6am. I try to keep the noise down as low as possible after 10pm out of respect for the neighbours on the other side, but the noisy side are very different culturally and don't seem to even realise that they're loud.

Personally, if my neighbours complained I'd probably be upset first, then annoyed, but then I'd try to keep the noise down from 10pm and before 7am. That seems like pretty reasonable hours for most people. If somebody has need for quiet at other times (kids in bed, illness, shift work maybe) they can ask for it politely but can't demand it.

couriervanman

Regarding the phone......i know a few people who you can hear from 50 yrds shouting down the phone

KinderScout2019

this is not a problem had been continuing for 4 years because I only watch youtube or talk on phone occasionally. I have no problem if my neighbour reminds me that I am too noisy, I am happy to reduce the noise. but the letter is not a reminder, but a threaten, which makes me very uncomfortable

KinderScout2019

rach_k wrote: »

I don't think you need to be distressed by the letter. She sounds a bit daft and it is rude and parts are incorrect, but it may be that she's been avoiding mentioning it for 4 years and now has reached boiling point! I'd just read it as somebody who is frustrated and not controlling herself very well. Pity her, don't fear her.

We have some pretty noisy neighbours and, honestly, it annoys me that I can hear their bedroom TV booming at midnight and from 6am. I try to keep the noise down as low as possible after 10pm out of respect for the neighbours on the other side, but the noisy side are very different culturally and don't seem to even realise that they're loud.

Personally, if my neighbours complained I'd probably be upset first, then annoyed, but then I'd try to keep the noise down from 10pm and before 7am. That seems like pretty reasonable hours for most people. If somebody has need for quiet at other times (kids in bed, illness, shift work maybe) they can ask for it politely but can't demand it.

I will avoid making any noise now. Do I need to reply her? Or, just keep the volume down and move on with life, no need to reply at all.
Judging from her letter, I doubt I can have any peaceful talk with her at all.

elsien

I'd probably try to talk to her, because I think it would make it more awkward walking past each other pretending nothing has happened. If only to ask why they didn't talk to you before letting rip.
But that's me - depends on how assertive you feel, and whether you think it could potentially make things worse.
How old is the daughter, and has she been banging on the wall? Depending on whether she's a baby or a teenager might also affect how I'd respond.

warby68

Resorting to angry letters without ever having a polite chat is not good but I agree with the other poster that it sounds like someone who has left something to build up and now has little sense of proportion.

I'd still knock on the door and attempt a friendly chat. You clearly don't want to be a nuisance and are willing to adapt and would probably have done so ages ago if you knew . Hopefully you can clear the air but even if it doesn't go brilliantly well, you will know whether she is a reasonable person and also know better in your own mind how much effort you want to make.

Probably working on 10pm-7am as quieter times is good. Midnight is on the late side and your perfectly normal noise will be exaggerated when everything else is quiet.

You have hinted that you have let the garden become overgrown. Whilst its your choice, if a neighbour is 'letting the side down' and making the area look scruffy when they don't, that can cause quite a bit of ill feeling.

KinderScout2019

elsien wrote: »

I'd probably try to talk to her, because I think it would make it more awkward walking past each other pretending nothing has happened. If only to ask why they didn't talk to you before letting rip.
But that's me - depends on how assertive you feel, and whether you think it could potentially make things worse.
How old is the daughter, and has she been banging on the wall?

I actually didn't know she bang the wall, it just shocked me there was a noise suddenly, and this happened only once. If I know I had been annoying her, I will definitely avoid it.
Judging from the letter, I think she will be shouting at me if I talk to her, making thing worse.