Aspergers/ASD support thread

Mandles

Mics_chick wrote: »

What changes have you had to make to his diet Mandles?

It is hard work to stick to but it is no sugar (honey is a good subsitute in cakes etc), no sweets or chocolate (he does have it but very rarely as sometimes he just finds some and eats it), no cheese, no cows milk (has goats milk) and i give him omega 3.

If you are intersted just try the no sugar and no cows milk. For me i noticed a vast change in just 2 weeks.He used to attack me or really hurt himself on purpose every single day but this stopped in just over a week when i tried this.

Mics_chick

Mandles wrote: »

It is hard work to stick to but it is no sugar (honey is a good subsitute in cakes etc), no sweets or chocolate (he does have it but very rarely as sometimes he just finds some and eats it), no cheese, no cows milk (has goats milk) and i give him omega 3.

If you are intersted just try the no sugar and no cows milk. For me i noticed a vast change in just 2 weeks.He used to attack me or really hurt himself on purpose every single day but this stopped in just over a week when i tried this.

Thanks Mandles - I was just interested in how restricted his diet was.
I think the no sweets/choccy and the omega 3 are both good ideas but I wouldn't want to restrict anything else without consulting a dietician myself.

It sounds like your son was quiet aggressive whereas my son is just very hyper for long periods and can grate on mine and my OH's nerves as we are both suffering from depression...
So although he can be very frustrated and frustating our situation is probably a bit less extreme than yours sounds
I really appreciate your time and effort though :beer:

mousytrap

My son is now 8, with Aspergers, and has been invited (finally) to a friends house after school.

Other than giving them my phone no and assuring them I'll pick up straight away if there's any problems, I'm wondering whether I ought to be mentioning about his Aspergers...

I mean, I don't want to be scaring them off, especially since none of the other Mum's that I chat to that know he's got Aspergers have been game to offer...

The boy's mum apparently works in a school but she won't be there as her friend looks after the kids until she gets home.

What does everybody else do?

I'm feeling relieved that he's been invited to be honest. He had a Halloween party invite last week too, but that was the first party invite for nearly 3 years (since before he starting having violent episodes at school and getting exclusions). He must be starting to acquire some social skills. We're still treading on eggshells a lot at home though (mainly he's just verbal and door slamming at home).

Ta
mousy

Savvy_Sue

mousytrap wrote: »

My son is now 8, with Aspergers, and has been invited (finally) to a friends house after school.

Other than giving them my phone no and assuring them I'll pick up straight away if there's any problems, I'm wondering whether I ought to be mentioning about his Aspergers...

I mean, I don't want to be scaring them off, especially since none of the other Mum's that I chat to that know he's got Aspergers have been game to offer...

The boy's mum apparently works in a school but she won't be there as her friend looks after the kids until she gets home.

What does everybody else do?

I'm feeling relieved that he's been invited to be honest. He had a Halloween party invite last week too, but that was the first party invite for nearly 3 years (since before he starting having violent episodes at school and getting exclusions). He must be starting to acquire some social skills. We're still treading on eggshells a lot at home though (mainly he's just verbal and door slamming at home).

Ta
mousy

I think I'd say something, although I'm not sure what ... Because we didn't know what it was about DS1 until he was 12, this didn't really arise in terms of going to a friend's house to play, but I always used to make sure that teachers leading school residential trips knew he had mild AS which would mean that there would be certain social events he would simply opt out of!

Rather than say "he has AS" I might try to say something like "Fred gets very upset if ... and he might do ... " or "Fred needs things to be very unambiguous, if you need him to do something please tell him directly because he won't take a hint". Or whatever you think might be most likely to help!

Mandles

mousytrap wrote: »

My son is now 8, with Aspergers, and has been invited (finally) to a friends house after school.

Other than giving them my phone no and assuring them I'll pick up straight away if there's any problems, I'm wondering whether I ought to be mentioning about his Aspergers...

I mean, I don't want to be scaring them off, especially since none of the other Mum's that I chat to that know he's got Aspergers have been game to offer...

The boy's mum apparently works in a school but she won't be there as her friend looks after the kids until she gets home.

What does everybody else do?

I'm feeling relieved that he's been invited to be honest. He had a Halloween party invite last week too, but that was the first party invite for nearly 3 years (since before he starting having violent episodes at school and getting exclusions). He must be starting to acquire some social skills. We're still treading on eggshells a lot at home though (mainly he's just verbal and door slamming at home).

Ta
mousy

Savvy sue gave really good advice. I agree and would say that i would mention something. I had an, unknown to me, asperegers child come around to play with my older son and he was awful. I thought that he was just very naughty and disobedient so didn't have him round again. If the parent had told me about his aspergers i would have accepted his behaviour much better. Funnily enough, i did have him around when i later found that he had aspergers as i then realised that he was not being naughty at all.

I always remember this as now i have a little aspie boy , my decision is always to tell parents if he goes to parties and friends houses. Most have been great, to be honest , if they are funny about it then i am not particularly fussed about my child being friends with their children if they are like that.

Just my opinion but you have to do what is right for you.;)

mousytrap

Well, the good news is that it was today he went to his friend's place and he managed not to stuff it up. When she brought him back she said that the boys had been playing well and he was also good at dinner (something I was dreading). Apparently he told her he had been in a bit of trouble at school, and she said if he continued to behave himself at school he would get invited back again... (no idea what'll happen if he doesn't).

Anyway, while things were on a good note I took the opportunity to ask if he'd mentioned that he had Aspergers. He hadn't but she now knows for the future. Lets hope he continues to behave OK over there...

Thanks for your replies.
mousy

Savvy_Sue

Mandles wrote: »

Savvy sue gave really good advice. I agree and would say that i would mention something. I had an, unknown to me, asperegers child come around to play with my older son and he was awful. I thought that he was just very naughty and disobedient so didn't have him round again. If the parent had told me about his aspergers i would have accepted his behaviour much better. Funnily enough, i did have him around when i later found that he had aspergers as i then realised that he was not being naughty at all.

Actually that's reminded me of a very upsetting experience I had when DS1 was quite young, on holiday, and we were waiting to get into a trailer for a tractor ride or something like that, and there was another child in the queue who seemed a bit older than him, about 7 or 8, but who kept going on and on about when it was going to come, apparently asking me as much as anyone else! Then when the trailer arrived this child just shoved past us and got on, apparently unaccompanied, and when it was time to get off they just shoved past again, grabbing my arm very hard in the process and hurting it.

So I just said "I think you need to mind your manners, young man", and was then given a complete tirade of abuse by an adult nearby, because he wasn't a boy, she was a girl with very very short hair, and she was autistic.

Well, knowing what I know now I MIGHT have picked that up, but at the time I knew next to nothing: all I knew was that a child who appeared to be old enough to be on their own was behaving very rudely, a bit strangely, and setting my lad a bad example which he could do without!

Now I fully accept that parents get fed up and 'snap' at times, especially if other people appear to be intolerant, but I felt it was very unfair, both for me and the girl, that she'd been allowed to get into a situation where other people were getting hurt without an adult being near enough to either prevent it or apologise for it! You might think that a bruised arm isn't a big deal, but to me it was bad enough that she'd grabbed MY arm: if DS1's arm had been where mine was she would have grabbed that instead.

I know it must get a whole lot more difficult as children get older, and need their independence, but I just feel that when they're younger, they need us to mediate for them!

Savvy_Sue

Excellent news mousy!

mimmy1977

Hi long time lurker here.
This thread has been a real eye opener for me.After doing a lot of research I found this site to be great for personal opinions.

My Ds is 10.He is a tall stocky beautiful boy who loves all things animal and wrestling(funny little combo there)

At weekends I have to attend events due to my job.At my most regular one, one of the Marshells "real" job is he is a teacher at a school for children who need a little help.

Over the summer he has spent time with my son,and 3 weeks ago shocked me with the suggestion he may have aspergers.
Now we had always known that DS was a little different,but never really understand why.He has had hearing tests done since he was 2 and has a boderline hearing problem,We have also attended speech therapy when he was 6.However his speech is very immature for his age.

I have home schooled him for a year now,after we moved away and I was far from happy with the local schools.He is doing really well.He hated the noise and crowds of school.He doesnt make friends easy,and seems to get on better with either older or younger kids.
I am taking him to a church based youth club later who seem to have a little experience in this kind of thing.

He is not overly voilent but has a very short fuse,
He seems to go into a red mist.
He hates swearing and shouting,

He says what he thinks all the time!Tact is not his friend lol.
He takes things very literally,and does what my grandma used to say splits hair all the time.He never knows if he has upset you unless you say so.

He is loves food and will try anything!However any food with bits like jam,or smoothies ect is a no no.
He cant use a toilet unless no one is there(we have to stand outside disabled loos when we are out)
and has blocked so many toilets by putting half a loo roll down first.

He has no fear of real threats,like big dogs,traffic,stranger danger,but truely believes we have a toilet monster and vampires will get him.

He (like me though)hates people eating.
He butts in on converstaions all the time and doesnt know how to start them.He talks so fast.
To others I think he may appear rude.

He loves routine,but is good with doing different things.
Every morning I have to tell him our timetable for the day eg 10 we got to Asda,we be back by 11.12 we have a sandwhich,rice pudding and drink and so on.
Everything is timed,although he still doesnt get how to tell the time.
We have tried.

I am sorry for rambling on,But this has been like therapy.
I am going to take him to our Gp`s,but I am worried.
I dont want him to feel like he is the odd one out.

Mics_chick

mimmy1977 wrote: »

I am sorry for rambling on,But this has been like therapy.
I am going to take him to our Gp`s,but I am worried.
I dont want him to feel like he is the odd one out.

My situation isn't exactly the same as your Mimmy but I wanted to post coz I want to reassure you a bit if I can.

My son is 5 (6 in Jan) and was diagnosed with Aspergers only 3 weeks ago and in a way felt like a blessed relief for me
It means I understand him more and can give us both more leeway.
I don't see alot of his behaviour as naughty anymore and I don't feel so guilty if I lose my temper when he is really being trying (I suffer from PND so can have a very short temper myself some days ).

I think whatever your child is like you can worry about them anyway but it just means your worries change if you find out they have Aspergers or any other "un-obvious" condition.

My daughter is 7 and still can't read really so I have been worried about her more than my son as my sister wasn't diagnosed with dyslexia until she was in her 40s!
I've got an appointment with the headteacher tomorrow morning to try and get them to finally get her tested - I've been put off by her teachers whenever I've tried to discuss it at her parents evenings.

They have always seemed to offer more support with my son coz he is more demanding/challenging than my daughter who is very quiet, easy-going and helpful.
I'm very happy with the school in alot of ways coz it has such a friendly happy atmosphere but I am frustrated by the way they've handled my daughter's condition.
I have been very "up-in-the-air" myself until recently because of my PND but now I feel more on top of things I'm not going to let them off the hook anymore.

Sorry to for the rant about my daughter's condition but it was just to show that in some ways it is more positive than other situations coz you get offered more help and support for yourselves and your child.

As for your child feeling the odd one out just try to explain it to them as a positive thing.
My son is very advanced with his reading but is also very funny.
Sometimes this can be very annoying when he wants to be like Harry Hill and I'm trying to take him somewhere or get something done quickly but it makes him unique and lovable in his own way

I hope this has helped - even if it's just a little bit