Aspergers/ASD support thread

Mics_chick

starnight wrote: »

I did use to have a dressing gown for him, though it's something to think about again. I'm not sure if it's the fact that once he has all his clothes off he forgets to put back on or he just doesn't like the feeling of them, or a mixture of both which is what I suspect.

Another thought I had after I posted was keeping a t-shirt handy (especially a longer style one) might be enough to save his and others blushes coz his boxers may look like normal shorts (especially if they are the jersey type ones)

Mics_chick

debtmess wrote: »

may i say hello x

have found this thread from one is disability and dosh x

my youngest son is 4 he was diagnosed over a year ago (june 2009) with asd he has just started in a unit within a infant school and has settled in and doing well in a class of 8 (all boys) who are between 4 and 7 years old.

i have friends etc but very few people i can talk to about my ds

My 5yo son was only diagnosed 3 weeks ago although I have visited this thread before to voice my thoughts, feelings and concerns that I suspected for quite a while before that.

If you wanna voice anything no matter how weird or embarrassing you might feel/think it is - we don't know who you are so just spill

In the main this is a friendly sympathetic fountain of knowledge and experience
If I have ANY sort of problem then I will post a thread on here and always get the help I wanted :A

starnight_2

Mics_chick wrote: »

Another thought I had after I posted was keeping a t-shirt handy (especially a longer style one) might be enough to save his and others blushes coz his boxers may look like normal shorts (especially if they are the jersey type ones)

*whispers 'he doesn't like wearing boxers'*
I could always buy a few t-shirts a couple sizes too large and just keep them handy, I like your ideas Chick.

Bitsy_Beans

starnight wrote: »

That would be good if anyone does as my DS still won't wear clothes in the house! (Well he wears underwear).

I'm here for a wee moan. Feeling sorry for DS today. Took him to school, managed to get there on time YAY! But he walked into the playground, skirted halfway around the edge and stood there. It made me realise how much help he still needs in social situations, he just didn't want to walk through the other children to find his friends!

Now saying that, I also realised how lucky he is. He has had the same friends since he was 2, and his best friend spotted him and went to him taking along a few other people. I just don't know what I would do if he didn't have such good friends. Even his CAMHS doc has said they seem to help him a lot.

I know how you feel. My son is actually quite good socially when he knows people but I went to a party last week and he only knew one person there (birthday girl who was off with her friends). There were lots of strangers, loud music (which he can find off putting) and instantly wanted to go home. I persevered and I was the only adult dancing and joining in with the kids and I had to because if I don't do it my son won't get involved. I swear I could have broke down in tears on the dance floor because of it Sounds rather silly and dramatic a week on but I just felt so sad that he struggles with stuff like this. Anyway crying won't change the fact so I bit my lip and carried on. He had a great time in the end which makes it all worth it

Mics_chick

Bitsy_Beans wrote: »

I know how you feel. My son is actually quite good socially when he knows people but I went to a party last week and he only knew one person there (birthday girl who was off with her friends). There were lots of strangers, loud music (which he can find off putting) and instantly wanted to go home. I persevered and I was the only adult dancing and joining in with the kids and I had to because if I don't do it my son won't get involved. I swear I could have broke down in tears on the dance floor because of it Sounds rather silly and dramatic a week on but I just felt so sad that he struggles with stuff like this. Anyway crying won't change the fact so I bit my lip and carried on. He had a great time in the end which makes it all worth it

I just wanted to say that coz of the bits I've highlighted in red I think your son is a very very lucky young man to have such a lovely mum as you :A

julie03

this is the one thing that i find quite sad for my son, the lack of friendship, he has one friend at school who is very tolerant of him, but every one else finds him weird.

he always seems to start off well but always ends up on his own.

he is always better with adults. he was playing a game with my mum on the bus the other day and questioning her on the tudors which he has just learnt and she didnt know hardly any of the answers and he was quite loudly telling her , no nanny thats not right, dont you know anything about henry the 8th. she was very embaressed as some other people thought he was quite funny.

Vicky123

julie03 wrote: »

this is the one thing that i find quite sad for my son, the lack of friendship, he has one friend at school who is very tolerant of him, but every one else finds him weird.

he always seems to start off well but always ends up on his own.

he is always better with adults. he was playing a game with my mum on the bus the other day and questioning her on the tudors which he has just learnt and she didnt know hardly any of the answers and he was quite loudly telling her , no nanny thats not right, dont you know anything about henry the 8th. she was very embaressed as some other people thought he was quite funny.

My oldest is 15 and high functioning autistic and the lack of friendship has probably caused both him and I the most misery.
I'm not proud to say over the years I have had murderous thoughts about other kids rejection of him, thing is he has gone from being a child who desperately wanted friends to a teenager who just doesn't expect them anymore. My youngest is profoundly autistic and he also doesn't have friends but because of his lack of awareness he mostly isn't bothered and always chooses adults for any kind of interaction.
As the boys have got older I do realise how much we have all missed out on, it's there every day after all, but when next door neighbours children are having friends over or birthday parties it really makes me more aware of the isolation.

anewman

The problem with kids of that age is they're generally in competition to be parts of groups, exclude people, feel good about themselves by putting others down and so bullying tends to happen to those less able to deal with the social nuances. The other thing I found made me somewhat socially isolated at school was that I came from a single parent family after my parents split when I was about 9, so whenever everyone was discussing what Christmas presents they had they had the latest expensive games consoles and games, and I didn't - and I think when I listed what I had got it was a source of amusement for some. I guess being relatively poor and having AS is just bad luck.

I found College, and particularly University a much nicer learning experience than school as what I see as almost competitive friendship that I mention above, and consequently bullying, doesn't happen so much there. I didn't make any friends whatsoever at University, despite doing an Undergraduate course and a Masters at another University. I would hazard a guess there would be more opportunity to make friends at work, but having never had a job (no doubt due in part to my difficulties which shows in interviews) I can not say with any certainty.

Dainty1976

Hi all,

I was wondering if anyone has any tips/advice re: sibbing!

My son has gone from a lovely placid boy to a nervous wreck since starting school in Sept 09 (He's in mainstream at moment, school are being slow about wanting to start the statementing process - I'm going to do it myself come January if they still haven't).

He is self harming pretty much all the time now and I'm at my wits end as to how to get him to stop. I hold his hands away from himself and he tries to bite himself instead. He kicks walls/furniture to try and hurt his feet, scratches his arms, legs, face and eyeballs, pinches/slaps/punches himself, pulls his hair, headbutts walls, bites his wrists and arms it goes on. His vocal ticks are also increasing - even when he seems calm, he cannot fight the urge to shout out or scream/grunt. His little sister is becoming more nad more scared of him each day and often cries and runs away to hide from him when he's shouted out really aggressively!

He's now started kicking and pushing me too! Kicked me this morning - I was so shocked for a second, I just stood there!

I've tried swaddling him in a blanket which sometimes works (as I've learned that deep pressure helps at times but he doesnt like being held) - but mostly he will continue pinching himself under the blanket!

It started off just when he was upset but now he's doing it whilst sitting watching tv, or walking down the street or in any mood! If ANYONE has any advice, I'd REALLY REALLY appreciate it!

Thanks

Savvy_Sue

Don't wait until January. Take him out of school now if that helps. Contact IPSEA or Parent Partnership (google that plus your area).

And that's without knowing what sibbing is! But he sounds so unhappy, and at that age, it's not right.