Aspergers/ASD support thread

whichwhydoIturn

Hello.
over the past few months I have been a telephone support for my sister after she discovered that her OH has been having an affair.My sister has a lovely son from a previous marriage. He is 23 and has aspergers syndrome.they are paying off the mortgage, selling up and splitting up & my nephew is getting quite concerned that he and his mum will be homeless and that the man in his life who he has lived with for 14 years is moving away.my sister has asked me and my daughter to maybe give him some sort of support and talk to him about change as sadly my daughter and i have experienced change like this when my husband left. i love my nephew and want to help him understand things , however i dont know enough about aspergers to know what to say so that it will make sense and that my nephew could start to be easier about the changes, any advice will be great to have ! my siter lives away from me, hence the telephone support .thanks again x:o

Indie_Kid

You may get a better response if you post on the ASD thread -> https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/604164

whichwhydoIturn

thank you for that SH, silly question, will i have to retype it or is there a way i can post it on there by any other way .thank you

nearlyrich

whichwhydoIturn wrote: »

thank you for that SH, silly question, will i have to retype it or is there a way i can post it on there by any other way .thank you

You can copy and paste it to another thread;)

whichwhydoIturn

Hello.
over the past few months I have been a telephone support for my sister after she discovered that her OH has been having an affair.My sister has a lovely son from a previous marriage. He is 23 and has aspergers syndrome.they are paying off the mortgage, selling up and splitting up & my nephew is getting quite concerned that he and his mum will be homeless and that the man in his life who he has lived with for 14 years is moving away.my sister has asked me and my daughter to maybe give him some sort of support and talk to him about change as sadly my daughter and i have experienced change like this when my husband left. i love my nephew and want to help him understand things , however i dont know enough about aspergers to know what to say so that it will make sense and that my nephew could start to be easier about the changes, any advice will be great to have ! my siter lives away from me, hence the telephone support .thanks again x:o So sorry if this looks abit random, however i posted this on another link and the suggestion was that i post it here on this link for support thank you x

whichwhydoIturn

thank you for that x i am not very techie minded !

Mandles

Can i ask how many of your kids with aspergers etc are able to do homework? My child is 5 and needs to zone out after a day at school , after 6 hours of constant stimuli. He sometimes does not talk for ages when he gets home as he gets in a bit of a trance or just has to chill in a quiet room for ages. I am getting to made feel like i am not a very good parent as "all the other parents fill in their childs reading diary all the time", and i don't. I feel so angry as i feel like i am being told off . The thing is that when he is mentally able (and when i am mentally able to be honest , as home life is hard with him ) ,i do do reading etc with him. I also said that it is hard as he just refuses and she said that she knows but they manage it at school!!!! I have written a note now saying that i took offence with this comment as they have him in the day and i know that it is a million times harder after he has had a full day to get him to do anything.
I feel so upset and angry. I liked this teacher too.

Also, if it says that he needs speech therapy twice a year in his statement and the school never do this where do i go from there? ..if they want to criticise me then they better be living up to what they are supposed to be doing.

stefano

Mandles wrote: »

Also, if it says that he needs speech therapy twice a year in his statement and the school never do this where do i go from there? ..if they want to criticise me then they better be living up to what they are supposed to be doing.

Write to the head master and let him/her know. But beware, you want the school on your side. My son was diagnosed with autism with severe tendences when he was two, and was statemented. We took part in a "Early intervention program" project and luckily, he manages to go to mainstream education with one to one help.
The school is the only establishment which can help you. The LEA will do their best to cut any funding allocated to your child, and the school is the only establishment that has the means to manage those funds. Find out how the school is using these fund and remember, diplomacy is the key with the school.
And my heart goes out to you, I know it is hard, but it gets easier, believe it....

starnight_2

Mandles wrote: »

Can i ask how many of your kids with aspergers etc are able to do homework? My child is 5 and needs to zone out after a day at school , after 6 hours of constant stimuli. He sometimes does not talk for ages when he gets home as he gets in a bit of a trance or just has to chill in a quiet room for ages. I am getting to made feel like i am not a very good parent as "all the other parents fill in their childs reading diary all the time", and i don't. I feel so angry as i feel like i am being told off . The thing is that when he is mentally able (and when i am mentally able to be honest , as home life is hard with him ) ,i do do reading etc with him. I also said that it is hard as he just refuses and she said that she knows but they manage it at school!!!! I have written a note now saying that i took offence with this comment as they have him in the day and i know that it is a million times harder after he has had a full day to get him to do anything.
I feel so upset and angry. I liked this teacher too.

My 8yr old DS needs to zone out after school also, so homework has always been tough. By the time he was in P4 I ended up explaining things to the teacher and she allowed him to hand the homework in a day or two late if need be, though I always done my best to make sure it was on time. Now he's in P5 it's getting harder again as he has a homework every night, but the teacher seems very understanding.

My DS never just refused to do homework, but it would sometimes take him 4 - 5 hours just to do one piece. When I explained this to the teacher she actually said she would also accept work they I had to write part of as long as it was DS's work, of course showing trust that is would be his, though I never done this. Can you speak to the teacher 1-2-1 about how difficult it is and see if there is any leeway?

stefano

Yep, even teachers in secondary scchool will accept scribing by an adult