Aspergers/ASD support thread

sock-knitter

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

Just to update, his interview last Saturday went well and the interviewer mentioned to him a job that had not been advertised as one of Morrisons' bakers, which he said he would consider.

Heard today that they have taken up references.

Please, PLEASE keep him in thoughts and prayers!


UPDATE on 27th September: Heard today that he is going to be offered a job.:):T:j

well done to your son xx

Indie_Kid

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

Just to update, his interview last Saturday went well and the interviewer mentioned to him a job that had not been advertised as one of Morrisons' bakers, which he said he would consider.

Heard today that they have taken up references.

Please, PLEASE keep him in thoughts and prayers!


UPDATE on 27th September: Heard today that he is going to be offered a job.:):T:j

Well done to your son!:T

fazeypie

Want to be free- I'm no expert on this by any means, I've just found out I most likely have AS. Could you try phoning the national autistic society and maybe see what they have to say about it? Maybe there are some local support groups for families dealing with autism? A friend of mine has an autistic son and she has had loads of help and advice from the local group.
It does sound like you've been very badly let down for things to go this far. It really annoys me that you are asking for help and you are not being provided with it. The link to the national autistic society is on the previous page of posts. Maybe your local main library may have done info on local groups and support available?
I hope you are able to get the help you both need

Savvy_Sue

Want_to_be_free wrote: »

I am not so sure why I am writing here but it seems like people come up here with all sorts.
I have a teenage son with AS and ADHD
I love him more than life itself but I cannot cope with him alone any more. I am a working mum with a very stressful job. I am single and no family to help me with my son. Since the death of my partner my son got more and more aggressive towards me. Before that he was very difficult but somehow I or we managed him maybe not so successfully but I loved him and tried to give him what he needed.
Things are now so bad that he no longer lives with me. He is looked after by foster family where he seems to be settled well. But my heart is in pieces. I have only one child and he hates me so much and I don’t even know why? Our life was not easy, I was not able to give him a stable environment for a long time but when I provided what I could, nothing was enough for him. He wants more and more and I cannot give what he wants financially and now emotionally.
I had been having him certain days since he went to foster care and each day I would give my full attention to him and try to do some structured outing etc..
However I started to think that he only comes to those because he has some kind of gain, rather then he wants to spend time with me. As usual, when he cannot get what he wants or receives an answer as ‘No’ he gets aggressive towards me. When he gets angry with others, again his anger will be towards me and I cannot tolerate his behaviour. I am not able to cope with this behaviour or constant arguments. He is always right and I am the reason for every single bad thing that happened to him.
We have constant struggle and he thinks how he treats me is ok, he call me names, swears at me or even hit me like he did last Saturday, to him this is normal behaviour. He can do it at anywhere, at any time and in front of anybody. This is not normal behaviour even though he is a teenager.
I tried to get therapy for him, and also therapy for us as a family. But Social services somehow reluctant. Nothing is getting better but actually and truly getting worst. If I had the means of arranging the family therapy myself, I would do it this second. But I am stuck in a financial situation that I cannot afford main things never mind the therapy. Our surgery is not providing that kind of treatments either.
I want my child back home but I cannot have him until he is somehow behaving differently towards me.
I could take him out of the system because he is section 20 meaning because I am not well, I voluntarily let him go to care. I hate myself for doing so but when he is with me, I am afraid I will go so desperate and hurt myself out of frustration because I won’t ever hurt him.. I am so ashamed and not sure what to do.

I am not sure what I can helpfully say, but I would urge you NOT to keep beating yourself up about this. You are NOT a bad mother because you can't cope: you are a GOOD mother to admit it and get help for him, and for yourself. You have NOTHING to be ashamed of.

I'm going to comment on a few specific bits:

However I started to think that he only comes to those because he has some kind of gain, rather then he wants to spend time with me.

Even a 'normal' teenager is likely to behave like this: to spend time with a parent for some perceived gain rather because they 'want' to spend time with them. We are inherently 'uncool' and the very last person they wish to be seen with.

Add to that the potential emotional detachment of AS, and you're expecting a lot, perhaps at this time too much. You're not to blame, but your son may not know where else to direct feelings of blame, anger, frustration. You're just in the way.

Our surgery is not providing that kind of treatments either.

So what CAN they provide? You sound in a bad way yourself: can they offer personal counselling and support, to get you through this patch?

Also what support is your son receiving, as an individual, to help him resolve the behaviour issues? Doesn't matter if it's only you he lashes out at: can you get him help as an individual?

I hope others will be along soon with more help. Some things which might be useful for us to know, but don't feel you have to say if you don't want to: how old is he, how long ago did your partner die, and was he your son's father? If he wasn't, is his dad around at all, and any use?

seven-day-weekend

Once again I agree with Savvy Sue's sound common sense.

seven-day-weekend

Our son's girlfriend has asked us to help her find another job before we return to Spain in November. She has a job cleaning in a Nursing Home at the moment, but it is difficult for her to get to, especially in the winter.

This we will find quite difficult as we don't really know (neither does she) what sort of job she wants and can do. It would have to be one where she did pretty routine work and didn't have to make snap decisions, and preferably not meeting the public. She will need help to fill in the application form and will not interview well.

Does anyone know of any organisations that may help her with this? She is diagnosed AS and claims DLA (she is further along the spectrum than my son). I did wonder whether ASPIRE would help someone already in work?

All advice gratefully received.

tiannaleigh

Hi ,does anybody know of a web site that has online games on that are good for kids with autism,my 5 year old used to love a site that I cant find now thAT i HAVE CHANGED MY P.C, it had a name something like woodfield school or something like that and had farm animal games etc,I cant for the life of me find it and she is getting quiote irritated with me lol

Savvy_Sue

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

Does anyone know of any organisations that may help her with this? She is diagnosed AS and claims DLA (she is further along the spectrum than my son). I did wonder whether ASPIRE would help someone already in work?

Not sure: suspect it would vary from one branch of Aspire to another. However there is an organisation whose name escapes me who might be able to help, I'm sure the name will come back soon. Also worth looking on the NAS website, and I know someone on here was hoping to set up an organisation looking to help those on the spectrum find work.

Savvy_Sue

Remploy and the Shaw Trust are two organisations I thought of who might be able to help.

Savvy_Sue

tiannaleigh wrote: »

Hi ,does anybody know of a web site that has online games on that are good for kids with autism,my 5 year old used to love a site that I cant find now thAT i HAVE CHANGED MY P.C, it had a name something like woodfield school or something like that and had farm animal games etc,I cant for the life of me find it and she is getting quiote irritated with me lol

You don't still have the old pc do you? If you do, I'd fire it up and see what I could find ...