Aspergers/ASD support thread

end_of_my_tether_2

grey_lady wrote: »

Good grief, your son may have broken someones arm and your blaming the school, the teachers, everyone bar yourself and him?

Thanks for your constructive imput. :rotfl:

If this was happening to your child or grandchild you would want something done about it aswell.

When these incidents first started happening I was in full suppport of the school and hung my head in shame at my sons behaviour. As my son has got older it has become more and more apparent that he just doesn't understand the social cues that a 'normal' child would and punishment (believe me I have tried everything) doesn't work. School are aware of this and we have asked them to alter the way they communicate with him, and no that doesn't mean giving him all the attention that the class should be receiving just small things that make a big difference but they have ignored these requests (these requests have also come from other agencies involved with DS so they aren't out of order).

That is what my issues are and as for saying I should be blaming myself what would YOU suggest I do differently or have done wrong????

Anyway grey_lady back to the people who offered some real advice. Thanks for all the replies by the way.

I agree with those of you who have said that DS shouldn't expect to get all the attention and that there are 29 other children in the class (there are actually 37 kids in ds's class). I also think that my son is just one child and shouldn't get more attention than the next from the Teacher, which is why I think he should have a TA back in place.
Someone else said that ds shouldn't really be in mainstream school becaise they aren't specialist enough and again I agree but the LEA don't share this sentiment and won't consider him for a place. My dh knows someone who works in a specialist Autism school and from what she has said this would be ideal for our son but funding dictates that that isn't an option for us.

There is only one other school in the area which is in the next village but reading their recent ofsted report shows that they too have issues with dealing with SEN kids.

end_of_my_tether_2

I should also mention that whilst it is not meant in anyway to make light of what my DS has done wrong he has never hurt a child within the school and has himself been victim to a 'normal' child hurting him.

Js_Other_Half

In almost all circumstances involving school difficulties and special needs children I recommend the following organisations:

http://www.ipsea.org.uk/
IPSEA is a national charity providing free legally based advice to families who have children with special educational needs. All our advice is given by trained volunteers.

http://www.ace-ed.org.uk/
The Advisory Centre for Education (ACE) is a national charity that provides advice and information to parents and carers on a wide range of school based issues including exclusion, admissions, special education needs, bullying and attendance.

http://www.parentpartnership.org.uk/
Parent Partnership Services (PPS) are statutory services offering information advice and support to parents and carers of children and young people with special educational needs (SEN). PPS are also able to put parents in touch with other local and national organisations.

Js_Other_Half

I've just remembered something else that may make interesting reading for any parent of a special needs child as regards schooling.
http://www.cerebra.org.uk/Resources/Cerebra/Parent%20Support/Bulletins/10_summer.pdf (page 16)

"Children, Schools and Families

Act 2010

(England, Wales, and

partially Northern Ireland) ,

http://

tiny url.com/2wgbcxv ( without space between tiny and url)

. Requires school

inspections to take account of the

needs of children with SEN and

disabilities. Gives an additional right
of appeal for parents of children with
Statements. Requires local authorities
to provide full-time education for
children who are not at school for
various reasons; greater freedom in
the use of the school budget; powers
to set up new schools and academies;
new information-sharing arrangements
among professionals; and allows more
media reporting of Family Courts
proceedings. (Does not include
compulsory registration for homeeducating
families, which was among
the measures that were proposed then
dropped.) Some parts are already in

force, and some come into force later."

The tiny url website address takes you to www.legislation.gov.uk

.

julie03

37 good grief, thats a huge class, if your son does have aspergers he could have some sensory issues with noise and that amount of kids noise wise wouldnt help,
my son is in a school with 25-26 to a class and they wont go over that and a TA is present regardless if anyone needs it, each class automatically gets one.

thelastunicorn

I have AS. One of the key symptoms for it is normal development - in fact, most kids with AS have much higher IQs than others their age - so I think it would be pertinent to examine whether he is behind in his reading and writing because he can't settle at school, or is challenged in some other sense.

There are other options. ADHD is greatly stigmatised, but your boy does sound very much like that type. People with AS are very disinclined to lie (I would go into why, but it'd take ages), and you say that your son does a lot.

CAMHS were useless when I was at school.. I hope they're better in your area, but I'd contact specialists for assessments.

I think you should look at dyslexia, dyspraxia, ADHD and specific learning difficulties. These all overlap - and overlap further into autistic spectrum conditions - but those four are more likely to be indicated by poor academic performance; Asperger's is really not associated with that.

Does he have very narrow interests? Is he calmer if he has, say, a toy of Thomas the Tank Engine (trains being a common aspie interest) with him in a given situation?

Like I said, there is a lot of overlap, and misdiagnosis often causes more harm than good in the long run, so make sure he's given assessment for a few different things. For example, my boyfriend has ADHD (and, boy, do you know it!) but still suffers when plans change, the same as me. The difference is that I become anxious and he tends to get angry and frustrated.

I hope your son is OK. I know I wouldn't like to be in a classroom with someone who was violent - it would scare me! - but I can empathise if he is struggling with things himself.

To the lady who waffled on about the safety of her own daughter - your kid is not in this situation. The view that all people with special needs should be put into "schools that can handle them" - i.e. special schools - is nonsense. Maybe if we think your child is a bit thick, we should put them in a school for thick kids? I'm sure you'd be up in arms about that, along with all the other Mums in their Chelsea tractors with the Daily Mail under their arms.

The point of a fair society is that we learn to help each other out. In an ideal world, teachers would be properly trained (they are largely not) and children would be taught by their parents to understand why some children behave differently, and how to act appropriately in situations that can sometimes arise.

Are you planning to lock your DD away once she leaves school, lest she come into contact with a disabled person, or one with mental health issues? Or, perhaps, is it your view that THEY should be locked up?

It takes all kinds in this life. You should be more concerned about nasty girls with no developmental problems giving your daughter a slap than the minority of people with disabilities. Or more concerned with, maybe, teaching her the tolerance you lack.

ailuro2

My idea of tolerance is letting my DD sit next to the boy in class and telling her to be nice to him and not do anything to upset him.

My level of tolerance does not cover letting a child thump her so hard he leaves a navy blue bruise on her.

What I didn't mention was there was a rumour the kid was expelled from his last school for stabbing someone with a pair of compasses. I told the person who told me that I'd bear it in mind but preferred to take people on their actions rather than gossip. Now his actions have proved to me he can't be trusted to keep his hands to himself I will now make up my own mind how tolerant I should be of his violent behaviour.

At what point am I meant to react to the boy's behaviour - ignore punches and only take it up with the school when she has a pencil sticking out of her eyeball? Or shoukd I ignore that too because he might have an undiagnosed condition?:eek:

I lived with a disabled mother all of my young life, so I do understand what it's like to live in a world that has a different reality. I also learned that having a disability does not mean you should get away with anything that others would be punished for.

OP, Good Luck with the school.

julie03

thelastunicorn wrote: »

People with AS are very disinclined to lie (I would go into why, but it'd take ages), and you say that your son does a lot.

.

aspies can lie, i have read many forums where parents say their children with aspergers lie, alot of them lie to get out of trouble, they just are not very good at it.

bestpud

That's a difficult situation and I'm saddened you've been shunned by other parents, even though I can see how it can happen.

All in all, your child must be picking up on the ill feeling and it can't be helping him settle in school.

That said, I too can see it from the other side of the coin as dd has had a child with learning disabilities in her class and she was frequently violent towards the other pupils. I'm sure the idea was integration but it actually left the other children feeling resentful because they felt she was getting away with everything and they could do no right towards her.

This is always a danger when issues like this are poorly managed imo.

Statementing never seems to happen without a fight so I think you need to prepare yourself for a battle and keep going until you get what he needs.

Personally, I'd take him out of school at this point and home educate but I don't know if that is an option for you?

Can you manage his behaviour ok at home?

kegg_2

I wish people wouldn't just think kids with behavioural issues should be sent off to SEN schools.

My oldest is in a SEN school he does NOT have any behavioiural issues and has enought to deal with without having the risk of a child who cannot control himself lob a chair at him.

I dont know what the answer is but why should my child suffer just because you parents of so called normal children in mainstream dont want that sort of child sitting next to them. Not that i am judging them for that as in all honesty i dont want mine to have to put up with that either.

On a side issue my sons SEN school would not put up with that behaviour, diagonised or not 3 strikes and you are out. Infact the last ofsted was glowing but they marked the school down only on the fact that they suspend so many pupils.