Aspergers/ASD support thread

Sarahsaver

softwaremad wrote: »

sloggis are supposed to be really comfortable!

Savvy_Sue

softwaremad wrote: »

sloggis are supposed to be really comfortable!

They ARE really comfortable, but did you post this in the wrong place? Do say if you did and I'll remove the distractions ...

PasturesNew

Savvy_Sue wrote: »

They ARE really comfortable, but did you post this in the wrong place? Do say if you did and I'll remove the distractions ...

Sloggi - They do seamless clothes.
The thread was about seamless knickers a few pages back.

Savvy_Sue

Danni wrote: »

It depends if he is at school or college. If he is, the easiest way is to go through them. Otherwise, go with him to see the doctor, along with a list of reasons of why you feel he has Asperger's. It is a lot easier to be diagnosed with a parent available to provide the early history (my mother gave mine to the psychiatrist who assessed me).

I agree with this, although those of you who wouldn't be able to get that should not despair. In either case I'd suggest writing down things that seemed different at the time, or seem different on looking back. Writing it helps you not forget things - and the assessor can decide what's relevant and ask for more information about what seems particularly relevant - and gives a background.

When I wrote my son's 'history' I went right back to pre-nursery days - being more upset about a door being left open than about falling downstairs, for example! Not liking touch, not joining in singing with other children, food fads, pedantry as an art form and so on.

Sarahsaver

the histories i have gone through with the professionals go back to before birth even. if you can remember the sequence of events from pregnancy onwards write it down b4 you forget it!

something_girl

Can I just say that I am finding this thread incredibly informative and fascinating.

My 15 year old daughter has always been a bit 'different', always had problems with social skills at school, but no problem with academia.

I had a letter home a few months ago from the Learning Support Office (that I didn't even know she had been called to) saying they were just updating me.... it read 'your daughter has already been diagnosed with schizoid personality disorder.......'

I freaked, my daughter has never been diagnosed with anything other than flat feet...... so me and daughter have a chat and she said it probably came from her mentioning the fact that she fitted the criteria for that particular condition.... I telephoned the school, said she had no such 'diagnosis' and they said they would remove it from her record.

Daughter seems happy enough, she has said she gets picked on and teased all the time, always has, but she copes with this with spouting Japanese at them! she has always loved anything to do with Japan and learnt the language herself.

She has never mixed socially and will avoid any social event at all costs, I don't ever make her go anywhere now, unless she specifically asks, I give her the choice, but I know the answer I'll get.

She spends 99% of her free time on the internet, chatting to friends she has made online and also creating websites and contributing to role play forums etc. Her school work is good, she is healthy, developing physically fine, just has no contact with anyone outside of school hours..

should I be worried? I used to be. My worry now of course, is how she will cope with adult life, as I doubt she has even been in a shop on her own.

She has also informed me that she is 'probably' a lesbian, although she has had no sexual contact with either sex.

She does seem a happy and alert girl though.

Other daughter, total opposite, out all the time, tons of friends, loads of confidence.

Sev_3

My 8 year old daughter has AS, and if she is doing something 'different' we do point it out to her as she really isnt aware of what is/isnt socially acceptable. I appreciate the other members' comments, infact they made me fill up! But our daughter really wants to fit in with her peers and be just one of the crowd. She goes thru phases where she hates herself and says she doesnt want to be herself because she knows she finds things difficult and that she stands out with some of her behaviours...at the moment my husband and i are working on her table manners and trying to get food actually in her mouth and not all the way up her cheeks to her eyebrows! I'm sure in the long run she'll thank us for it! Parents have to say things even if it doesnt always feel kind.

As for socialising, she is so much better when we have just one friend back after school (rather than 2,etc) and its a good idea to be 'around' to help out with any tricky conversations and to be a role model in discussing subjects

Hope this helps...

Savvy_Sue

PasturesNew wrote: »

Sloggi - They do seamless clothes.
The thread was about seamless knickers a few pages back.

:T :A Thank you. Yes, I do remember that.

Which reminds me, my nearest and dearest sometimes do things which appear to me to be completely ridiculous! I've learned over the years NOT to say "What on earth were you thinking of when you did X?", but rather "I'm sure you had a very good reason for doing X, please could you tell me what it was?" Sometimes I still think they were being ridiculous, but at least I know they thought they were doing the right thing.

Unfortunately very few of them extend the same courtesy to me! :rotfl:

Snaggles

That's a nice way of phrasing the question SS, I think I will borrow' that.

Talking of uncomfortable clothes, Ryan has informed me that he wont wear sandals because they feel like ripped shoes. We eventually settled on a pair of Spiderman Crocs (or Asda's version of), which I think he still thought felt funny, but the lure of the Spiderman on the front of them won him over and he's getting used to them quite quickly.

PasturesNew

This is a bit of a biggie for me to post. It's a tricky one. It's typical of just one of 1000 ways I've always behaved and could never tell anybody. And now it seems it is the Aspergers causing it all these years.

You might notice from my postings that I don't pile in with all the hugs and support. Where a poster this week was telling how her partner had left etc etc I had nothing to say on it. I don't do "emotional support". Never have. Never will. I can't. Don't know how to.

This, it appears, is an Aspie moment. So here goes ...

I've always been an office worker. Lots of women work in offices. Women have babies. HORROR! Well, that's where part of my problem starts. I have absolutely ZERO empathy for this. I am not interested in anything they have to say about their pregnancy, babies or children. And if they bring a new born baby into the office to show it off, you'll find me down in the loos, hiding. I don't want to be near that group oohing, aaahing, cooing and asking about it. I am completely and utterly emotionally empty of being able to do or say anything in this situation.

So it's easier to run off and hide.

An Aspie trait is: "The lack of demonstrated empathy is possibly the most dysfunctional aspect of Asperger syndrome. Individuals with AS experience difficulties in basic elements of social interaction, which may include a failure to develop friendships or enjoy spontaneous interests or achievements with others, a lack of social or emotional reciprocity, and impaired nonverbal behaviors such as eye contact, facial expression, posture, and gesture."
(Source: wikipedia)

It's not just that situation, I was just giving one example. But I am like this about everything. If anybody has a problem or disaster, good news or bad, I can't be emotional about it at all. It's like one big nothing. All I can do is to either run/hide, stay absolutely quiet and look the other way or provide specific information or my opinion. Online this is in the form of links.

I don't think I wrote or explained that well. It's hard explaining what's going on in your head as an Aspie to people who aren't on the scale. Akin to, probably, somebody with sight explaining what a rainbow looks like to a blind person.

So, when things get all "huggy" here ... I am most likely to appear to disappear.