Aspergers/ASD support thread

Symbeaux1

Some children will find it difficult to accept, without question that not all people are the same in this world...its the most difficult thing in the world to witness your child being used a source of amusement...the only consolation you have is that this child is more likely to become seriously unstuck in the adult world, will learn his lesson then, but you may not be there to witness his moment of 'enlightenment' .. I'm constantly amazed at just how intolerant of any kind of 'difference' in another child that these children are..please try to remember though that you are not in a position to change the outlook of either the child nor the parents..only they can do that..keep your child away from the influence of this 'pervert-in-the-making' , if thats what you truely believe he is ..you have highlighted the situation with the police with him as the subject matter..doubtless if another incident occurs involving him it will be noted that it has been raised as a matter of concern.. the only person in this world you can change is yourself. Any change a person appears to have made because it is demanded,is only paying lip-service to the demand to do so by an authority they cannot avoid....rehabilitation orders ...sex offenders registers etc...keep your darling away from him..explain in the simplest terms that he is no good..like securing your home from intrusion does not stop the burglar from going about his business..he just decides your home poses too many obstacles to overcome easily..he moves to another house..you can only hope he moves to another child, he is so unlikely to alter his life-course, and leaves yours alone. you cannot look after the whole world, only the bit that is very nearest to you. Good luck.

softwaremad

the hardest thing about this whole situation is that my daughter had only just started trying to ingratiate herself by socialising with the local children (most are really good kids) now as she is autistic its really hard to try and get her to understand that some children are bad! so at the present moment she doesnt want to go out and mingle again more due to my actions towards the boy than actually feeling initimidated or anything as she doesnt grasp the fun taking of her at all. as she has a little acne (teenage syndrome) some kids the other day were running away from her laughing etc i found out yesterday that they were telling her she had measles & chicken pox and she was contagious. she was chasing them oblivious thinking it was a game. it is just so heart breaking at times more so for me than for her as she doesnt see these social situations in her magic little world. god i wish i was like her at times what an uncomplicated world they live in!

Symbeaux1

NoahsPennilessMummy wrote: »

Hi

I am having problems with the LEA:mad: ...like most others I guess.

My son is almost 5 and has Autism, he has a statement and the LEA give him 15 hours help a week.
He has help and one to one from 9 till 12 each day and nothing from then till3.
As a result he is failing some of the Foundation stage early goals as due to his autism he simply cannot do them without help.

I am currently at the stage of trying to get LEA to see my problem with this and up his support level but I doubt they will.

I really feel I have no choice but to fund his afternoon help myself if LEA refuse:rolleyes: ....but how on earth do I go about this?
Someone was on here once about Direct Payments you can apply for to help fund support for your child....does anyone know anything about this or anyone have any advice on what to do next?

I am also looking at SENDIST but not much idea where to start there either and how much it will cost etc?

get thee to thy nearest parent partnership group !! they know all the right things to say..I thought my sons statement perfectly adequate for his needs ...they tore it apart..I was convinced LEA would refuse alterations and to my surprise..received a new statement with all ammendments and recommendations included...result.. they are sometimes very 'matter of fact ' in parent partnership , but you should not view that as them not caring, it's just that they are so used to dealing with this , it's commonplace to them.

softwaremad

when you start the statementing process the lea are legally obliged to provide you with information detailing the independant parent partnerships that are free for you to contact. here in rhondda cynon taff where i am based it is SNAP try putting that in google - will be as good a place as any to start lol! pm me if you need information have been on sen course so am very familiar with this process & am currently awaiting tribunal on our daughters education needs too so been there & there god lea what a nightmare they can be!

fallen_angel_69

dd1 leaves school today i'm feeling really quite worried about her she started her exams on mon went to school in tears she's really scared and nervous of them even though she has extra 15mins and does them in a room of about 20 or so kids not in the large hall with all the others.I can't seem to explain don't get stressed you can only do what you can she's got a place at college in sept if she needs to resit english and maths they will let her do it there she seems much more settled there as she already goes as a day release
Mind you it's also made me realise i have got a 16yr old daughter and i suddendly feel old (over the hill at 38) dd2 who's 9 has already told me she's putting me in an old folks home the way i feel today she might as well put me in there this week i'm knackered fed up and don't know what to do with myself it's just one of those days

Sarahsaver

Aw (hugs) fallen angel
I'm right behind you on being over the hill then at 37;)
Could your daughter not get a separate room by herself for her exams due to additional needs?
have you tried the bach Rescue Remedy to help with stress (hers and yours)? it works on my DS sometimes :eek:
Best wishes Sarah x

mandy.h_2

hi all
update on ds appendix its fine scan was clear now back home after 4 days still no explanation but he is a much happier bunny thats what codeine does to u but no explanation for pain

ds says he now knows our house is not that bad and he is never staying in hospital again

fallen angel im with u my dd leaves after her exams she is not on spectrum and has been so stressed so i feel for your dd they r allowed to do them in a seperate room ds did his sats like that i would ask at school

Savvy_Sue

mandy.h wrote: »

ds says he now knows our house is not that bad

:rotfl: at that, there is always a silver lining!

Also :rotfl: at the idea that you lot are over the hill! Although I symphathise with the feeling knackered. But DS1 tells me he is going to a wedding at the end of June - one of HIS friends! How come my baby has friends who are old enough to get married? There is something VERY wrong with this idea.

It's all in the mind, you see. As you might realise, I was not THAT young when I had DS1, but I definitely thought of myself as a Young Mother as long as I had Young Children. And as far as I was concerned, that lasted until DS3 started secondary school. I'm not sure what I became at that point, it certainly wasn't an Old Mother. Perhaps I became a Teenage Mother, because I had Teenage Children?

And I was giving some of DS2's friends a lift, when someone more my age asked them if they thought of themselves as Teenagers or Students - they're all in the 6th form. They were sure they were Students, but I said I thought of all 3 of my boys as Teenagers. And then I realised DS1 isn't, not any more ...

I realise this has turned into more of an 'angst of motherhood' post than an AS one, so I apologise for that. But since I'm away with my mother this weekend, I realise that however old the children are, Mum is always Mum ... I still hold her arm the way I used to when I was younger, even if now it is to keep her moving and hopefully stop her falling over! :rotfl:

Danni

I am getting worried. I am moving into a flat alone on 1st June from supported accomodation (mental health- it's not the best place for me) and have no idea how I'm going to cope until my friend (also has Asperger's) moves in at the end of July/beginning of August. I know logically it won't be too different from where I am now (I got into trouble last year for not accepting enough support) but it is a big change and the friend who was meant to help me with the moving in now works two jobs so is never around.

I am seeing my social worker next week so will discuss with her everything I need to do before/just after moving in, and I rang BT today to organise getting a phoneline installed for broadband (a huge achievement for me, but I am only just getting over the anxiety and panic now, several hours later). The thing worrying me most at the moment is that my new address doesn't exist on any computer system (even the post office site doesn't show it).

Sarahsaver

hsm VERY clear instructions like i have to say to my ds Put your TRAINERS ON not 'put some shoes on' else he gets in a tizz trying to work out what kind of footwear he should wear. Say things directly not like my mum who said to ds once 'its time to think about getting your coat on' What! yep he thought about it alright but that was it
DS 's idea of playing footy is to watch other kids playing, he just cannot join in.
Get this child and others to see what he CAN do rather than what he cannot do. My DS is fascinated by wildlife and he is now star of the school environmental club cos he knows so many bits of information about plants and animals.
I am not sure but can the school not ask the ed psych in to observe anyway? Actually probably nopt cos parental consent is needed i think.
He may be oversensitive to noise, may have exaggerated sense of touch (both affect my ds) which in turn make joining in and social interaction difficult. He may be blunt and to the point - very literal, not because he is rude but because he takes the world so literally. This will cause trouble in later life. His parents need to realise this but if they dont its such a shame.
Ask away if u need more info, between us all we can help i hope;)