Aspergers/ASD support thread

samf1971

I wasn't sure if I was allowed to put links one is asdfriendly.org the other is autism-awareness.org.uk

verysillyguy06

thanks for that....:T :T :T :T :T

samf1971

Snaggles ..........

I'm just catching up and read an earlier post of yours referring to STARS. My little boy goes to Stars on a Thursday - I presume you're in Leeds since you mentioned it - so am I. We've no official diagnosis as yet but he's been accepted into the group as the likelyhood is that he will be diagnosed (we have a provisional date for the complex comms team for July) We don't have home visits or anything yet so it would be useful to know what they do if you could share a bit of info.

Savvy_Sue

Carmina_Piranha wrote: »

i've only just joined this thread and i see page 1 is 2 years old - ooops!

Doesn't time fly when you're enjoying yourself? :rotfl:

Carmina_Piranha wrote: »

this week i bought some new briefs for my boy and he actually asked me to swap them for boxers. he hates boxers and finds them uncomfortable but he's decided he doesn't want to be the only kid at high school wearing briefs (he got laughed at for wearing 'girls knickers').

i was beginning to worry because tesco didn't have any briefs in the next size and one of these days (or years lol!) he's going to grow, but luckily he's decided to wear boxers 'because everyone else does' :T

Interesting: DS1 and DS2 are still in briefs, and you can get them in teenage and adult sizes in the big supermarkets, should he wish to revert or be comfortable at weekends! Those two won't try boxers, but DS3 has been in them for a few years now, we need tight ones for cricket and loose ones for every day ...

softwaremad

tilly's_mum wrote: »

Hi

My DD2 is autistic, has severe learning difficulties, non verbal and challenging to say the least with a list of triggers as long your arm - no phones, writing, reading (managed to use the internet providing I don't read outloud my emails!) people coming to the house and her latest to join the list is to flip when anything comes through the letterbox (she hears this through a shut door and she is quite a distance from the door and it isn't loud!) When she 'flips' it is like having a tornado in the house - everything is thrown on the floor (we now live in a clutter free ish house (everything is packed up in the garage!!))

I would love to talk to other parents of children who have severe learning difficulties and are challenging but can't find any groups, online or in real life, for this. Do you know of any? I am thinking of setting up a web-based support group with a chat forum - do you think this is a good idea?

Thanks

Cheryl

boy do i know the tornado effect - my dd is 12 now and hormones are the prevalent reason for her whipping up a storm- good luck with the group

Carmina_Piranha_3

hi savvy,

he says they are comfortable now - he hated them before, but they are baggy so they feel funny when you wear trousers over them - it's a bit like wearing a jumper over the top of a t-shirt - he must have become less sensitive because he will now wear a jumper over a t-shirt with long sleeves, not just short-sleeved ones.

the boxers he likes are soft ones, and the elastic waist is inside the jersey material if that makes sense but i am amazed that he's not complaining about the bunched up material around his thighs. he says they feel cosy, like wearing pyjamas but he said the opposite 6 months ago when i first bought some, and has only changed his mind since being teased at school.

he's not actually diagnosed with aspergers though, it might just be dyspraxia (being sensitive to textures etc. can also be part of dyspraxia but i'm sure you all know that anyhow - i haven't read the past hundre dpages yet lol!).

i saw a checklist for aspergers on another thread and as he ticked every box i thought i would dip into this thread, and sarahsaver mentioned it to me a while back when i whinged about his problems settling into high school.

PasturesNew

Having a really, really, bad Aspie day today. And, as per the instructions, I've had NO idea what was going on.

Been in tears for an hour now. Gutted. I'm in turmoil

Aspie's don't have empathy and can't say the right thing. They are perceived as insensitive as they've no idea they've just said something hurtful. And I've apparently managed to do it twice in one day. Only just found out when somebody launched into an attack on me about it.

But from my perspective, I wasn't saying at all how they translated it.

First was a friend's pregnancy. He said it was too late to get the downs test on nhs and they'd have to go private. Me, knowing they wouldn't care if their baby was downs or not, simply pointed out that having the test didn't matter unless people thought they'd terminate. He was stressing about getting it sorted and I was trying to say that it wasn't necessary to have one at all... in my mind I didn't see why he'd mind either way. But that was, apparently, received as some statement/question about whether they would. But I wasn't asking anything. I was stating what I saw as a logical statement. Supposed to be sort of reassuring.

Later, somebody's family member had had a stroke and I thought I was having a conversation when I got really told off. The person with the family member said to me (word for word) "I must admit thats why I don't like saying personal stuff in here, you take things to the technical extreme and you make me feel poop"

And I have no idea why. No idea what I said that was misunderstood.

The whole technical level thing is something I do. I listen to things and the only response I can give is something technical.

I can't change. I'm an Aspie. This is one of the biggest issues. Totally !!!!!!ing up the whole social interaction thing; totally not saying the right thing. Yet I can't stay quiet all the time. And I can't judge when to speak and when to be quiet.

So now, there's another one of my crowd trying to chat and be all excited as it's their birthday and they're going to a concert... and I am here, typing and crying ... I have NO idea how to respond. What to say.

It's said that an Aspie can't see the point of "How are you?" I can't. Same with any chit-chat. So I am hiding and they'll think I've wandered off or nodded off or something.

Best to stay quiet. I'll only f00k it up.

I just can't "do" conversation. Fact.



So I thought I'd just say.
And it sucks.
The big one.

verysillyguy06

but u writing this is an amazing firt step..be kind to urself...it must be sooooo hard...keepreminding yourself how will you are doing.... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jHPOzQzk9Qo hugs your way....x

Danni

PasturesNew: I wish I knew how to help. I understand how you're feeling (I have empathy, I just don't display it in the "normal" way) as I have been there myself, especially upsetting people with technical answers. In many ways I relate to the Vulcans in Star Trek, though I wish I had their control over my emotions.

Most people I have conversations with now are either on the autistic spectrum or have mental health problems. It is much easier as I am less likely to upset them than I am those who are "normal". I don't like upsetting people, but it happens quite frequently with those I don't know (and some I do).

I also don't understand the concept of "How are you?". Most people who ask it don't want to know the answer, and those who do don't seem to understand that often I don't actually know how I am.

I won't send you a virtual hug, as I remember that you don't like them, but I hope you feel better soon.

Carrera74

I haven't been on for a while but thought I'd just write an update....

DS has now been permanently excluded and within a week of being back at the short stay school I could see his self esteem rising and his confidence growing. He's back to telling me all about his school day. We have his review on Wednesday next week. He goes to High School in September and he has a place at the local mainstream school but he can't cope in a mainstream primary so putting him in a bigger high school is just setting him up to fail. I hope the Education office see this as clearly as CAMHS, Short Stay and we do. Fingers crossed we'll be able to get him in a school similiar to the one he is in now. I am relaxed at the moment as he is calm at school. I just hope we don't have to put him through anymore negative experiences at high school to get him the place he needs at a 'special school'.

His Dad still is refusing to take on board that he needs treating differently to other kids. We have learnt that there are triggers to his outbursts. You can see them - probably obvious to us as we know him inside out at home. Short stay worked him out though so why can't his Dad?