Aspergers/ASD support thread

blue_monkey_2

oh, DD is a nightmare with clothes, they have to fit her PERFECTLY, sleeves not too short or too long, same with skirts, not too tight, too loose, too long, too short. Knickers not too tight, too loose, you see we have a theme running here..... She will pull at the clothes screaming too baggy. toothpaste is too stingy.... (I might be worth discussing with SNHV though thinking about it). Everything has to be just right or can result in an hour tantrum or more. New clothes are a nightmare too as I buy them next size up (saves money) but it means getting dressed is just tantrum after tantrum.

Kind of a relief to read these things on these boards and also nice to know that I am not going through the same things. In a strange way I guess.

Oh and if Ryan has a 'number 2' he will lock himself in the toilet to do it, no one else is allowed to look at him on the toilet until he has finiahed and he calls you in to tell you jst what he has 'done'!! Which is nice. he has been doing this since he has been using the loo.

Sarahsaver

It can be advantageous.
DS chose the suits for my wedding ion 2006, and he insisted on the very 'proper' morning suit, the most raditional with striped trousers and plain tail coats, waistcoat and cravat, and insisted on wearing it all day and most of the evening.
He really pleased me last night, watching walking with monsters, 'Muuuum...THAT means he is a herbivore because he eats plants but if he ate a bit of everything he would be an omnivore' He has an almost photographic memory for facts but ask him to do a piece of homework or read about anything and all hell breaks loose!

DebbieMids72

There's a TV Programme on tonight about Autism, you prob know already.

But anyway it's on at 9.00pm on Channel 5. Hope you all get to see it

savingforarainyday

Unfortunately missed it. I have watched programmes about autism, ds has diagnosis. I only suggested watching a programme about it to him once; it will be interesting i said. I never bothered again, what was his response? "I don't think I need to watch a programme about it, I aready know what its like".........:rolleyes:

Sarahsaver

My DS had his EEG done yesterday, got to wait around 2 weeks for the results.
I had to take some medicine to school for him this lunchtime, because his eczema flared up. One of his 'friends said 'oh *** you are SO WEIRD' so I just said to this little lad 'nope he is not weird he is taking medicine, still upset me though. Mind you if other kids think he is 'a bit odd' (they have done for ages) this makes me nervous for when he goes to secondary school :eek: I wish in some ways more kids were like DS, he would never say someone is weird, he is so thoughtful to people who are ill or disabled, he doesn't give a damn about fitting in.

Savvy_Sue

Sarahsaver wrote: »

My DS had his EEG done yesterday, got to wait around 2 weeks for the results.
I had to take some medicine to school for him this lunchtime, because his eczema flared up. One of his 'friends said 'oh *** you are SO WEIRD' so I just said to this little lad 'nope he is not weird he is taking medicine, still upset me though. Mind you if other kids think he is 'a bit odd' (they have done for ages) this makes me nervous for when he goes to secondary school :eek: I wish in some ways more kids were like DS, he would never say someone is weird, he is so thoughtful to people who are ill or disabled, he doesn't give a damn about fitting in.

Sarah, you may be OK with him: the thing I have always worried about with mine is whether they CARE or not. DS1 and DS2 never have minded that they don't 'fit in' in different ways. DS3 says he doesn't, and that he too is a non-conformist, but I worry more that he will try to 'belong' and end up in with friends who think it's cool to use drugs. But he says he wouldn't, that drugs are really stupid, because the results of using them are so unpredictable, and I just have to hang onto that! With the other two it's always been more obvious that they didn't care that they were different.

One of the Aspie adults I know said that he was miserable for a while in his teens, because he tried to fit in and be like everyone else. Then he realised that he couldn't, so he stopped trying and he's been perfectly happy ever since. Well, maybe not PERFECTLY happy, but at least not angst-ridden.

Having eczema too doesn't help, of course. And I dare say you keep hoping he'll grow out of that, which is at least a possibility but by no means a certainty! Are you in touch with the National Eczema Society for that?

Sarahsaver

I am glad my DS doesnt seem to want to fit in. I dont know if he has friends as such, its almost like he has intrigued onlookers... :rolleyes:He likes watching birds in the garden and asked at school if he could make a bird feeding area. he also sneaks into the garden at school (out of bounds in bad weather) because he likes plants and animals, whereas his friends are on about what trainers they have got and how many games consoles they own.

He has had eczema since 8 months old so we have been through all sorts with him, covered in bandages quite often when he was younger, and stupid people saying to me 'what have you done to him' or to him ;'whats wrong with you' i found out today you can at last get cotton gloves on prescription so I am going to see the nurse on Thurs to get some. Better than £7.95 for 5 pairs!!!

blue_monkey_2

Hi SS, Glad you are going to get some answers soon.

I think that I feel the same as you, I am so worried that my children fit in - both of them, not just Ryan - we all worry that they have friends, are not being bullied and can get on with school/day to day life, you do this because you are a mum but I think we worry more because we kind of see our kids as different too.

I used to get picked on badly at school as I was ginger and because I did not excel at sports, we all have our weaknesses and kids will pick on anything that they can - regardless of whether it is an illness or something visual (birthmark, colour of hair, how they walk, run, etc...) They are kids being kids.

You already know our son does not give a damn so try not to worry about him, just make sure he has you to speak to if he is feeling sad and needs help so you can pass that onto teachers.

Now, if we have had a bad morning the teacher will ask me 'what has bought this on today' and I'll be able to tell her generally, but it means they are more prepared for him having a bad start to the day. Little things help, the people around your children such as teachers are the ones who will ensure that little problems do not turn into bigger ones. I do know that some are more helpful than others. I am dreading the teacher my son is more likely to get next year as she has very little patience with the children and cannot cope with the class she has this year. DD is in her year but they had a huge intact so split the classes, my friend volunteers and she told me that all this teacher does is hout and she cannot control them. Little things like this make all the difference and I donot feel she will know how to cope with Ryan on bad days. I guess we will cross this bridge as we come to it though.

I just wanted to say, all parents worry but all for different reasons. My friends say the same things as you have said and their kids are 'normal' kids. I never fitted in at school and people used to say things about me and bully me as I was 'different'. I did not have many friends either - yes of course, I am terrified that my children will get the same treatment likewise if you have had the same experience in the past you will be more anxious. I think that what matters more is how your son feels about things. If he is not coping with it then there is a problem but if he is happy with how things are and can brush off the comments then do not worry so much as he is clearly happy with things the way they are, negative comments from us might then set the doubts in. No offense as I am just as guilty, I question my two about who they played with at lunchtime and if anyone said anything - it is clearly irrational as I am worried they will get bullied like I did (but still keep on asking, LOL).

fallen_angel_69

i think no matter what you always worry about how they are coping at playtime and stuff,the head called me in and spoke to me at beginning of week to see if i had heard about dd2 being turned down for her statement only took him 3 weeks to ask and was saying dd2 had seen phesant in school field and they have given her the job of trying to take photo of it they know she does'nt play with other kids and loves looking for bugs etc so thought this would be good for her.
Took them both to Cardiff the other weekend with my mum and dad i went to see dr who with dd2 while they took dd1 to shops then we all met up together to do rest of shops and rest of day was really disappointed with exhibition only took us 30mins to go round but dd2 was impressed and got some photos her favourite is outside millenium center 'torchwood towers'
Hope everything is ok with you blue monkey and you have managed to find a house have been wondering if you were ok not seen you on the board for a while

blue_monkey_2

Hi FA, was just coming to post about that. Too much happens on a daily basis. Here is a little run down. Still not housed though:

*Court have given us a date to be out of 16th April (oh yes, today)
*Last Thursday council offered us maisonette (in a town where I would be at risk of violence from an ex though, they understand this and I turned it down)
*Other option was for the woman at the council to try and get us more 'housing points' to stay here and to let mum get an eviction order to get out. These points would be valid for one month and it would mean that anything we applied for we would probably get.
*We said yes to the 'extra points' option as it meant something might come up in that month.
*Oh yes, the 'Extra Points' have not materialised yet.

Should we miss a property this week because they did not get us these points I'll be cross as we would have gone to a hostel on 14th otherwise - then we would have been sure to get it as we would have about a trillion points (you know, something like that, LOL)

I thought I would post this here:
http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?t=676147&page=25 If you subscribe you can see when I update it, usually daily to be honest, sometimes just with feelings and stuff as it helps put things into perspective, but everything that happens get posted on that thread. HTH. xx