Debt, debt and more debt.

the_long_and_winding_road

[Deleted User] said:

Many thanks 1992saving. Good luck reading the diary. I must go back to the start and read it to see how far I've come. x

Yes, you really should!!! You’re learning to roll with the punches (and some of them hurt) but you’re getting stronger each day. You’ve come too far to go back. #keep strong #you’re worth so much more.

Suffolk_lass

Me too. Up at 05.33 when it was clear that sleep was over! I made a rice pudding first thing as we had a pint of milk left over after the lunch I organised yesterday for local people. 

janb5

Well done on all counts Emma!
I do believe when you are in the middle of marital misery you need a friend ( that you trust )to help you look at things objectively.
How kind you were to the other family...they must have been so relieved.xx

Suffolk_lass

I think you do need to share with your friend that it has not been plain sailing for you and stress she has seen only your public face until now. Otherwise when those emotions hit her she will assume she is failing and not as strong as you (and might give up). If it were me I would stress that it is a grieving process for what you have lost and as such, not a straight line and if you don't start doing things for you, that make you feel a bit better, you just keep bumping along the bottom of that curve. The strong part is resolving not to go back to the abuse. Grieving for what you might have lost if he wasn't a complete git? that is a whole other thing.

Well done for gifting those boots. Maybe she will pay it forward to someone else that needs it but for sure another kindness will find you

Drawingaline

If you want to help be firm with the boundaries. Offer a specific timeslot so 2-4 on sat for example. And stick with it. You have a job and a family. Don't get sucked into doing anything else, just go for your timeslot and help her sell things. She has obviously coped for a long time like this, and by wanting to sell things it looks like she may be wanting to change. So just offer support for this. If she gets angry or aggressive back off. Know your limits.

Kitten868

Oh my life! You poor thing. Might be worth ringing social services? Thing is if she's willing to deal with it that might be unfair. Could she hire a skip with the £100? I'm guessing most of it is better off in a skip? Xxx

Emmia

Kitten868 said:

Oh my life! You poor thing. Might be worth ringing social services? Thing is if she's willing to deal with it that might be unfair. Could she hire a skip with the £100? I'm guessing most of it is better off in a skip? Xxx

Hoarding often indicates underlying mental health issues, it's not necessarily as easy as hiring a skip and getting rid of stuff.

shoppingobsessed2020

You’ve done the right thing in blocking her.  I’d give the police a quick heads up via 101 as it’s gone into harassment and just make them aware of the situation in case she does try to peruse it further.

i don’t think you need to be like your sister as it’s nice to help others when you can, you’ve done what you could but this lady needs more professional help.

Drawingaline

This is not your fault. Don't let it out you off being helpful in the future. This lady has issues beyond your capability.

Suffolk_lass

Hoarding disorder is a recognised condition and the NHS site offers advice on dealing with it but in essence, if they contact you again you should encourage them to contact their GP