Upset re inheritance

8ofspades

She's not being very fair.. She didn't get any, is jealous, so thinks you shouldn't have any at all? If she is making you feel that bad about it, I'd back away from her for a while and give her time to process her jealousy, if she can.

[Deleted User]

Your sister has already managed to acquire £10K for doing nothing, so that's not bad going.
If you were to give her half your inheritance (please don't!), she'll have even more than you.. for doing nothing.
Maybe say firmly that your uncle obviously gave you the £50K as a thank you for all you did for him. And keep repeating it to her (broken record technique). Then as 8ofspades suggests, back away from her for a while.

barbiedoll

My mum married twice, my sister is technically my half-sister. When her grandmother died, she inherited around £8000. My brother and I were very pleased for her, we didn’t think that she should share it with us though, it was hers, to spend as she pleased.

Several years later, my brother and I both inherited around £20,000 from a relative of our father. My sister didn’t ask for, nor expect a cut. We both contributed to her wedding, as did our mum, who herself, had an inheritance from her sister, a few years previously.

Your uncle obviously appreciated the care that you provided, the money is yours. Of course, it would be nice if you could maybe buy something that your sister wants or needs, but please don’t think that you should be under any obligation to do so. And she certainly shouldn’t be suggesting that you share it, or give it away. Maybe if she wasn’t so grasping, you would have done so anyway!

DigForVictory

+1 for hang onto every tuppence &, if you need to, use your husband as a pretext for Just Not Answering (impertinent) Demands.

It's going to upset your relationship with her? Hey, she got given £10K by your mum (for doing sweet Frances Adams) & where's yours?

(I feel sorry for your mother here, this has all the makings of a long running girly snarl-fest in which she just cannot do right, and she's bereaved. However that £10 K was not carefully thought through.) Also, should your mum need care in coming years, sis may be asked for that 10k back.

Brief him, gently, then shove your husband in front of you like a shield. If he shows any signs of wavering, ask him what has she done that he hasn't to help with grandad & surely he has an couple of ideas what he could do with the money?

I'm sorry for your loss, I'm sorry for the doubts & worries but please, do not let your sister trample his wishes and memory.

Gers

dbrookf wrote: »

No, but to be fair I lived closer than she did...

I lived 130 miles from my father and visited him every single night after work for the final six months of his life. For his final days I was with him in the hospice full time. It was even a different country, albeit it me in England and him in Scotland.

Distance should not normally be an excuse!

In my opinion your sister's demands are outrageous. You have no reason to consider her 'wants' for even a nanosecond.

theoretica

Your sister wants you to give up £50k now so that she has a reasonable expectation of inheriting 1/8th of it in future (half of your mother's quarter). That doesn't seem a well thought out plan of hers to me!

lisyloo

I would go further than others (politely) and ask her to stop badgering you about it, that’s just not fair.

blaming your husband might work as he’s probably less bothered about her having a grudge, but I’d still be requesting she drop it in the interests of a future harmonious relationship.

74jax

dbrookf wrote: »

My uncle died recently and left £50,000 each to his 4 elderly siblings and the same to me – obviously because I helped to look after him when his wife died the year previously. One of the siblings is my mother.

The issue is my sister is not happy as she thinks that I should give up my inheritance to each of the siblings (one being my mother) and then this would form part of my mother’s estate that we would both benefit from eventually. My mother has already given her £10k from her £50k.

She is not happy and I can feel a rift developing which is quite upsetting. What do others think of the situation?

My uncle left all his nieces some money. By brother didn't really say anything but I halfed it with him. Its not really up to your partner what you do with it, I certainly didn't ask my husband. It was a family gift to me I shared with my brother. My husband didn't mind at all and I wouldn't have if it was the other way round.

Marvel1

dbrookf wrote: »

But she’s making me feel guilty now....should I be giving her half??

No, your Uncle give it yo you for a reason.

dbrookf

Once again thanks for your replies. They are very much appreciated.

My hubby and I took her to Barcelona for a long weekend for her recent 50th birthday (before any monies were known about). I’ve also insisted on paying for a mother/daughters UK break soon.

I’d hate to fall out with her and it would upset my mum. Hopefully not!