Loveless Marriages

SparklesSuzie

Thankyou Primrose.

Agree with everything you have said Primrose.

Sept suits a situation with my Son. I don’t feel able to go earlier as he has a lot of pressure on him due to his job throughout the summer months. He is also just recovering from an injury and It’s not the right time for me now due to these factors.

Sept (end of) I will have no reason why I can’t leave. Also plenty of time for plans xx

Primrose

Susie. Full marks to you for still thinking of yiur son's needs even though you're under a lot of personal emotional pressure yourself. You don,t say how old your son is but hopefully now reaching an age where he can also learn to be more self reliant.

You're right that splitting your concentration will make it harder so stay focussed. Three months is not the end of the world compared with the rest of your life and having less distractions will help you when the time comes. Meanwhile try to enjoy the summer and your walks with friends. This is the time to strengthen your coping strategies.

robinwales

They say that about 45% of all marriages in the UK end in divorce. Not all of them are loveless, perhaps some just fail for other reasons. I have always wondered what percentage of the other 55% are also unhappy or loveless - quite a high figure I would guess. My point is that not many marriages are hyper-happy loving relationships - there is that old expression a 'marriage of convenience'. In the 19th century the concept of marriage was firmly rooted in the ideas of property. Why should a 'marriage' be, or just be, a perfectly happy romantic and ideal arrangement? Perhaps we are being a little unreasonable to expect that. My wife and I have been together for 33 years (we are in our 60s), and I find what keeps things going so well is my wife's dutiful commitment to regulary knitting woollen jumpers for my collection of 46 teddy bears. I'm not joking - sometimes things surpass romantic love.:rotfl:

If I were you I would seek professional advice, either with your husband, or on your own if he won't do so.

Primrose

I think the reality of loveless marriages is that basically most of us are creatures of habiit; we are all scared of change and living with the status quo is is less scary than jumping out of the boat and having to swim for the rocks.

It's a human condition to be wary of change and stick with relative safety of the status quo. However, there comes a point that this can make people so miserable that even given the reluctance to change their lives, they realise that their present condition is no longer capable of endurance. Everybody will have their own limits and their own level of courage in making a leap into the unknown. Often it will depend on the supportive network you have, of people around you who you can depend upon to help keep you afloat until firmer ground is reached.

SparklesSuzie

Hi again

Thankyou all. My Sons 21 and a professional sportsman just coming back from a career threatening injury. It’s the height of the sporting season and he needs all his focus. September is when the season ends.

He won’t be at home forever. I do think if he went things would be far harder just the 2 of us.

DrivingMissDaisy

SparklesSuzie wrote: »

Hi again

Thankyou all. My Sons 21 and a professional sportsman just coming back from a career threatening injury. It’s the height of the sporting season and he needs all his focus. September is when the season ends.

He won’t be at home forever. I do think if he went things would be far harder just the 2 of us.

I'm sorry, but no matter what he tells you but darts isn't a sport.

Having said that, hope things work out with your partner. If anything notify the police about his threats and move out.

Primrose

Oh and if you still go out for meals and he always expects you to pay I would just conveniently "forget" to have brought your wallet and your credit card out with you !

SparklesSuzie

Darts ? :rotfl:

SparklesSuzie

Primrose I think that’s a good idea too

SparklesSuzie

On the subject of meals. We just got invited out to our Daughters engagement meal. I said can we afford it ( sort of pointing out that it’s not always down to me to pay ). He said no we can’t. I said that’s fine but I’m gona go and just have cheapest thing on menu £5 pizza. No intention of doing that and I will be paying for daughter & fianc!e because unlike my husband I’ve not blown all my spare cash and some besides on beer and cigarettes. Big argument followed. This will be my only treat in ages and I would rather go without him frankly. Next news he says “so what time we going ?”
😡😡. I don’t understand why I can’t just go alone when I’m happy to do just that. Sorry for rant